BF2S Forums Best best joke

lmao.

A 40 year old man and a 10 year old boy are walking in the woods at night. The boy looks to the man and says "I'm scared.". The man replies, "You're scared?!? I have to walk back alone!"

*Boy scouts in the woods*

Leader - Now remember troops, there's only two rules about camping. Never leave a trace, and always clean up after yourself!

Scout - Like with porn?

Winston_Churchill wrote:

El Beardo wrote:

A 40 year old man and a 10 year old boy are walking in the woods at night. The boy looks to the man and says "I'm scared.". The man replies, "You're scared?!? I have to walk back alone!"

Cyanide and Happiness...

...featured that joke. It's old as shit. Just because you saw it there doesn't mean they came up with it.

I'm Kate McCann and leaving windows open was my idea.
I'm Joseph Fritzl and no windows was my idea.

I'm Dauntless and I'm a fag with no sense of humor.

Why does Beyonce sing 'To the left, to the left'?

Spoiler (highlight to read):
Because Black people haven't got any rights

Fat guy in a burger joint eating a burger, looking out the window.
He sees a black redheaded guy run past then 15 people chasing after him with. He goes back to eating his burger.
Turns out the black redheaded guy died because of the mob. The police interview the fat guy and ask him why he didn't help when he saw the mob chasing the black redheaded guy.

He replies "To be honest, I thought 15 was enough!"

Last edited by PrivateVendetta (2010-01-14 12:59:19)

Wut did the bird say when it flew over a JEw?
Cheap cheap

Double header

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyonATFat the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "dammit Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!"


There was a British trench 50 yards from a German trench, and it was a stalemate. Everytime someone popped their head up, it was shot clean off it's shoulders by the opposing force.
The British highest rank thought up a plan. He asked his soldiers "What's a common German name?" The soldiers replied "HANS!" so the soldiers began to shout "HANS!" and the Germans were popping up one by one, shouting "Ya?!" only to be shot by the British soldiers.
In the other trench, the German higher rank finally caught onto this, and he asked his men "What's a common British name?" to which his soldiers replied "TOMMY!" so the Germans shouted "TOMMY!!!" and the British soldiers shouted back "Is that you Hans??" to which Hans popped his head up and shouted "Ya!!"

My wife thinks I have erectile dysfunction.

I just don't have the heart to tell her she's a fat ugly cunt.

Karbin wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

My wife thinks I have erectile dysfunction.

I just don't have the heart to tell her she's a fat ugly cunt.

Just remember..................

YOUR THE ONE THAT MARRIED HER

Tis a joke, durr

Two priests at a bucking bronco contest.
One priest manages to stay on for 10mins. His mate say's "Fuck me, how did you manage that?"
He says "Easy one of my altar boys is epileptic".




Whenever my son pisses me off or upsets me, I refrain from shouting or hitting him.
Instead I take him out for ice cream and let him have all the sweets, crisps, chocolate and fizzy drinks he wants.

He thinks it's great that he's escaping punishment but, in 20 years time, he'll realise that I was just playing the long game.

Last edited by jay_courage (2010-01-16 13:06:09)