BF2S Forums The BF2s girl-problems thread

Again I don't see any obvious signs out of what you said. Sometimes the really smart ones will play with you just because they can. I'm guilty of this - if you like me and I don't care so much, I'll screw with you. Pretend to be jealous, do things that will trip you up, etc. It's not a very nice thing but I suppose it's natural.

Do you remember a girl that liked you in the past? What did she say that was different from other girls? How did she act differently?

A few of the things that seem to recur most often:

- Using your name often, sometimes when not needed, sometimes over a preferred prefix
- Saying "we" should go do x. "Oh man that new movie looks cool, we should go see it." "Man, I haven't been bowling in a long time, we should go soon."
- Continuing a conversation when it's nearing death or when you try to be short.

>"Hey what's up"
"Nothing"
>"How was your day"
"Good"
>"Have you done that math HW yet?"
"No"
>"So what are you doing?"

There's other things that don't really come to mind, but once you can recognize some signs it becomes quite obvious. I can always tell when a girl likes me. I used to be completely clueless, though.

Yeah guys, I'm not trying to envision some pipedream with this. Things are not always what the seem when it comes to this stuff, nothing new. I'll just have to see how it goes this year.. :x

By the way, thanks dudes. So far the advice has been great, cheers

Last edited by Archer (2009-08-29 20:27:23)

Cybargs wrote:

You guys were fucking trolled by my girlfriend. Good job. Yes it was my girlfriend, just look at the fucking writing style.

looks like were getting trolled by his friend again.

Oh wait, if im wrong, then I just got trolled by the GF.
.....






What?

Tetn1s wrote:

Cybargs wrote:

You guys were fucking trolled by my girlfriend. Good job. Yes it was my girlfriend, just look at the fucking writing style.

looks like were getting trolled by his friend again.

Oh wait, if im wrong, then I just got trolled by the GF.
.....






What?

no it was gf all along

Bevo wrote:

Again I don't see any obvious signs out of what you said. Sometimes the really smart ones will play with you just because they can. I'm guilty of this - if you like me and I don't care so much, I'll screw with you. Pretend to be jealous, do things that will trip you up, etc. It's not a very nice thing but I suppose it's natural.

Do you remember a girl that liked you in the past? What did she say that was different from other girls? How did she act differently?

A few of the things that seem to recur most often:

- Using your name often, sometimes when not needed, sometimes over a preferred prefix
- Saying "we" should go do x. "Oh man that new movie looks cool, we should go see it." "Man, I haven't been bowling in a long time, we should go soon."
- Continuing a conversation when it's nearing death or when you try to be short.

>"Hey what's up"
"Nothing"
>"How was your day"
"Good"
>"Have you done that math HW yet?"
"No"
>"So what are you doing?"

There's other things that don't really come to mind, but once you can recognize some signs it becomes quite obvious. I can always tell when a girl likes me. I used to be completely clueless, though.

I really don't think anyone should make an attempt to set up such fixed "parameters". The best indicative still is just when they give you "da lookz"

_j5689_ wrote:

Lai wrote:

_j5689_ wrote:

About the girl I like:

Does it matter that a bunch of other guys can text her and I can't?  It feels like they have the upper hand constantly because they can ALWAYS make progress with her all day and I can't since I can't text.  It's very unsettling to think about

Imo, texting is for flashy guys. It might work in the 21th century, but it'll never beat eye to eye or even voice to voice. That and you really can't make "progress" with a girl, it doesn't really work that way.

Well, I assume you can flirt and plan events over texting and it's not really that hard to do in class for people, those are things I would consider progress because it makes them more favorable over me to her.  It's not like it's luxury either, everyone at my school pretty much texts.

Well I don't think you can say anything about things that makes them "more favorable over me to her", it doesn't work that way either. If you're into this serious and want her to be, she will not be picking lottery tickets or second hand cars, in fact she will not be "picking" at all. She either like you/ will like you or she won't. Contrary to popular belief you can not conquer lady, at least not the genuine ones, you can only guide matters in the direction you expect/hope the two of you are going. For that, texting is not a prequisite

I would diagnose your case a a typical one of overworrying about every contact or missed contact you have/had with the girl in question. I've done so myself, still do occasionally. The thing is, you can not say in rettrospect if things would have mattered or if it even would have been noticable if you did or said so or so. You'll only drive yourself completely mad over small things, you have to stand above it and convince yourself the small flaws do not really show in the big picture.

Archer wrote:

As amusing this thread was to me because of the laughter caused through both the failures and successes lived by you all in all your "100th problem(s)" (sup 99 problems reference), it looks like I too have fallen in a rut. Let me explain..

There was a girl last year at school in my class. We happened to sit beside eachother, so we got on pretty well and what not. I was interested in her right from the start. (Bit uncanny really, there are a lot of "hot" girls at our school, but I disregarded them all pretty much because of her. I think it's because she's just.. pretty. Not hot, but pretty. Yeah. You know what I mean?)

Anyways, as the year went on we were pretty good friends, and I really didn't want to screw it up; in turn obviously not making a move too suggestive. We were pretty good friends, I would always tease her (once even made her face beet red! It was hilarious, lmao) and talk to her a lot in class. Problem was, I only got to see her once a school week, as she was only in one of my classes. Hanging out at lunch seemed like a brilliant idea, but her posse of girlfriends kind of intimidated me. (Approaching her at lunch is one thing, but approaching her with her friends by her side is another.)

Now, similar to  _j5689_'s case (Good luck, by the way!)  I am trying to detect signs of interest from her. And I think I might have, most notably from two scenarios (below) that happened that school year. Tell me what you guys (girls?) think..**

• Scenario 1: We seldom met on the public transport bus that I use to get to and from school. One day, as she and I were conversing, a girl across from our seats requested to borrow my cell phone. It looked legit, so I complied. While the stranger talked on my phone,  she (the girl in my class) fell into a pretty cranky state. She kept asking me several times if I knew the other girl who was borrowing my phone, in a pretty inquisitive manner. She kept acting kind of "mad" at me for the remainder of the bus ride until she arrived at her stop.*   

*Note: The next day, I pretended the whole thing never happened, and she seemed back to her old self.

• Scenario 2: Typical work day in class. Our teacher assigns us in random pairs. Unfortunately, I wasn't paired up with her. Instead, she was  paired up with a friend of mine that I kind of "dislike." She acted as if she was looking forward to work with him, because they often worked together in terms of comparing notes/homework. (She is very smart, and so is my friend.) However, she didn't know my friend as I did. In actuality, he is a guy with a good heart but is completely devoid of emotion, is annoying to accomplish what he wants, and at times can be quite insensitive to other people's way of perceiving things. I wasn't jealous at all, rather I found it hilarious that she was going to work with someone who isn't quite what she expected him to be. I playfully "warned" her about him, but she just though I was being immature. Not long into the period though, I got the opportunity to say "I told you so!". Could it be she was trying to get me jealous by trying to act upbeat about working with him? There's more. Meanwhile, I was paired up with another girl in the class. Not caring for the work, I just had random conversations with her to kill time. We were both working a desk away from the girl I liked, who was rehearsing parts of the project that my friend and her had to do. I don't remember what, but the other girl and I must have exchanged some funny conversation, causing me and her to laugh out loud. Girl who I like comes up and randomly said, "Focus <insert my name here>!" in a cheeky voice. I retorted why, and she said "I'm going to make sure you finish this project." It was like she wanted to pull me away from the casual conversation I was having with the other girl and get to work.

^That is pretty much all the signs that I recall before exams hit and swept us both into isolation.

She's a very studious person and the following classes didn't to talk to much people due to the massive amounts of review work we had gotten.

I know I could try contacting her on Facebook or whatever, but she's never on and I don't like textual conversations on matters like this..

Hanging out with her during the summer was a bit troubling. I never had the chance to ask her number or anything.

By now you're probably not surpised, but I do indeed have a hard time with girls. :x

**I know I may sound overanalyzing in the manner that I organzied this post, but I wanted to at least make the post look appealing so that you guys would actually read it.

Thanks for reading guys. Any input is appreciated, give it to me straight.

Well, since you want it straight:

I've been in a very similar situation. I ended up quiting my studies, losing quite some friends, having a bottle of scotch next to my bed and finally traveling thousands of miles just to get as far away from her as possible and finally ending up in a remote corner of Russia. But apart from ending up in Russia, I wouldn't recommend it.

These situations are complex so evidently I can not say if you're situation will turn out similar. I also won't advice you to back out or anything, because there are chances. However I will advice you to be cautious, because there is more to lose than "just a girl".

Based on the history you provided I would say chances are slim, but yes, those scenarios could indicate a change. What you should be wary about is that girls, especially the ones that have a grouping tendency, can be very possesive without actually caring. What girls have in posse groups is like male E-penis on the internet, pure uncompromised competition in a decievingly friendly atmosphere. It is not unlikely for them to be intimidated when they find you actually like them, they won't understand and think you just want to get them in bed.

Considering the scenario's you described and the fact that you seem to be really interested, I think you should make a move, but for the love of God, be carefull.

Archer wrote:

As amusing this thread was to me because of the laughter caused through both the failures and successes lived by you all in all your "100th problem(s)" (sup 99 problems reference), it looks like I too have fallen in a rut. Let me explain..

There was a girl last year at school in my class. We happened to sit beside eachother, so we got on pretty well and what not. I was interested in her right from the start. (Bit uncanny really, there are a lot of "hot" girls at our school, but I disregarded them all pretty much because of her. I think it's because she's just.. pretty. Not hot, but pretty. Yeah. You know what I mean?)

Anyways, as the year went on we were pretty good friends, and I really didn't want to screw it up; in turn obviously not making a move too suggestive. We were pretty good friends, I would always tease her (once even made her face beet red! It was hilarious, lmao) and talk to her a lot in class. Problem was, I only got to see her once a school week, as she was only in one of my classes. Hanging out at lunch seemed like a brilliant idea, but her posse of girlfriends kind of intimidated me. (Approaching her at lunch is one thing, but approaching her with her friends by her side is another.)

Now, similar to  _j5689_'s case (Good luck, by the way!)  I am trying to detect signs of interest from her. And I think I might have, most notably from two scenarios (below) that happened that school year. Tell me what you guys (girls?) think..**

• Scenario 1: We seldom met on the public transport bus that I use to get to and from school. One day, as she and I were conversing, a girl across from our seats requested to borrow my cell phone. It looked legit, so I complied. While the stranger talked on my phone,  she (the girl in my class) fell into a pretty cranky state. She kept asking me several times if I knew the other girl who was borrowing my phone, in a pretty inquisitive manner. She kept acting kind of "mad" at me for the remainder of the bus ride until she arrived at her stop.*   

*Note: The next day, I pretended the whole thing never happened, and she seemed back to her old self.

• Scenario 2: Typical work day in class. Our teacher assigns us in random pairs. Unfortunately, I wasn't paired up with her. Instead, she was  paired up with a friend of mine that I kind of "dislike." She acted as if she was looking forward to work with him, because they often worked together in terms of comparing notes/homework. (She is very smart, and so is my friend.) However, she didn't know my friend as I did. In actuality, he is a guy with a good heart but is completely devoid of emotion, is annoying to accomplish what he wants, and at times can be quite insensitive to other people's way of perceiving things. I wasn't jealous at all, rather I found it hilarious that she was going to work with someone who isn't quite what she expected him to be. I playfully "warned" her about him, but she just though I was being immature. Not long into the period though, I got the opportunity to say "I told you so!". Could it be she was trying to get me jealous by trying to act upbeat about working with him? There's more. Meanwhile, I was paired up with another girl in the class. Not caring for the work, I just had random conversations with her to kill time. We were both working a desk away from the girl I liked, who was rehearsing parts of the project that my friend and her had to do. I don't remember what, but the other girl and I must have exchanged some funny conversation, causing me and her to laugh out loud. Girl who I like comes up and randomly said, "Focus <insert my name here>!" in a cheeky voice. I retorted why, and she said "I'm going to make sure you finish this project." It was like she wanted to pull me away from the casual conversation I was having with the other girl and get to work.

^That is pretty much all the signs that I recall before exams hit and swept us both into isolation.

She's a very studious person and the following classes didn't to talk to much people due to the massive amounts of review work we had gotten.

I know I could try contacting her on Facebook or whatever, but she's never on and I don't like textual conversations on matters like this..

Hanging out with her during the summer was a bit troubling. I never had the chance to ask her number or anything.

By now you're probably not surpised, but I do indeed have a hard time with girls. :x

**I know I may sound overanalyzing in the manner that I organzied this post, but I wanted to at least make the post look appealing so that you guys would actually read it.

Thanks for reading guys. Any input is appreciated, give it to me straight.

The beginning story of yours sounds almost exactly like mine used to be.  She used to sit behind me and then I got really attached to her.  I never confronted her at lunch because her friends look judging and intimidating.

she sounds like an awesome girl archer. Good luck man. How well do you know her? If you speak with some regularity, ask her on a date. Something casual; "wanna go catch this movie?" or "wanna go to the jazz festival?" things like that.

Uzique wrote:

nukchebi0 wrote:

General advice for talking to girls would be lovely. Basics and such. I'm terrible at it. More specifically, I can talk to them, but I'm not very adept at initiating conversation, maintaining conversation, or even approaching them. It never was an issue in high school, because I didn't care, but college is a bit different, and I'd like to remedy such an annoying deficiency as expediently as possible.

Here's a tip: don't talk like you type, Professor Chomsky.

I don't, gladly.

Uzique wrote:

Thank fuck for that because, my God, it's fucking annoying.

"I'd like to remedy such an annoying deficiency as expediently as possible"

You're talking about your life, you social asstard, not a mathematical equation. Turn down the 'Ostentatiousness' dial from 11 to a more believable 5.

Irony.

Archer wrote:

• She does have a posse of friends, but it's not like they follow her around, worship her and massage her feet. I know it's definitely not a case of the "besties". They don't seem that close knit especially since I haven't seen wall posts from barely any of them on her profile.. (omg stalker )

Well, that doesn't really mean a thing. In fact you're more likely to be "safe" from group pressure incited odd female behaviour if they are "besties". Besties mean they can accept eachother, eachother's choices (e.g. for a guy) and much less competition. The issues I had actually started when the girl (we'll name her X), who basically was "besties" with some other girls who were also friends of mine, starting seeing an "outside girl" (well name her Y) as a role model. Irony has it that X and I always talked about how Y used to get herself into trouble by means of her naive and immature behaviour. I actually took Y into the group and to Greece, hoping our company would have somewhat of a positive influence on her. The exact opposite happened.*You may now all laugh at my failed efforts for at least five consecutive minutes.

Archer wrote:

• I don't think she's had a serious relationship before, surprisingly. But that probably changes nothing.

Well it could. If she hasn't been in a serious relation, it means that it will be all new to her when she does. You can't know how she'll deal with things and she herself might not even know how to deal with things. While it is certainly better than a girl who has had bad experiences with relationships, or too good onces (meaning you'll have to compete with her exes) it could still be labeled as a "risk factor". Regarding this, my advice would be to keep a steady pace, but don't be too fast, because that might put her off.

Archer wrote:

• She is pretty religious. Now before any of you guys sound the alarm, I think this is a huge part of her that causes her to have an impeccable set of morals and a "pure" personality. (She's pretty much a "good girl".) Also, she does not force her beliefs upon anyone; heck I didn't know until I saw her facebook profile.

If she's religious, but open minded at the same time, that might even be to your advantage. If she's as devoted to things as you say she it, it means she'll stick with her principles and you can expect less irrational behaviour (caused by "friends"), without the oppressive part of religion.

Archer wrote:

Thanks Lai. (keep them coming guys)Looks like I kind of misinterpreted her. Some base points:

• She is NOT preppy, in any shape or form. She's actually one of the best averaging students at school, so she's not particularly main stream.. if the other case was true, I'd have not been the least bit interested period. (Preppy girls who frequent facebook saying ___ is LIFEE or "YO LAST NIGHT WAS LIIIVE" are a major turn off to me. While I'm at it, just for trivia; she's a fan of Taylor Swift and The Who.)

Dang, I thought you meant Taylor Ware. Even I like Taylor Ware and I'm European. Taylor Swift,.. not so much

Another person I've talked to about the girl I like has brought it to my attention that I might even be stuck in the friend-zone already.  I can't help but feel like I'm only going to keep doing that.  This is the first time I'd have ever gotten in the friend-zone though and it's very depressing to think about: it's as though your failure is always going to be there to remind you of itself.

Is it really worth it to even bother with girls?

for the continued survival of our species, yes...

For the most part they're going to somewhat fail like that. If it makes you feel any better, I've spent a while catching up with one of my classmates from elementary. I've since moved across the country. We get along real nice like, she looks great and enjoys talking to me as well. She's going to my second choice school. She's more compatible with me than any other girl I've ever met, but I can't do shit about it because she's 1600 miles away.