She knows that I sniff a rat with him, but she assures me that she's never been interested in anything more, they go back a long way as friends, etc.TSI wrote:
Mon cher Uzique,
I'm the guy.
jk. Actually, it's good that you have yet to wade in and impose yourself...a little bit of tact and craftiness is rare.
I think you have a classic case of "I want you back but won't show it" syndrome on your hands. He wants to see her again. I know not what his messages contain, but I suppose that it is not merely idle chatter; the "I miss us" tag is a clear indicator of that.
Now, for my advice. I would suggest making it known to your lady that you're quizzical as to the contact, not in a manner that would implicate you as the "bad man", but rather that you should like to learn more about this guy. Thus, the reality is out in the open. Following which, you're able to challenge the guy if necessary. However, I'd do that through your lady--less confrontational. I'd ask her to tell him directly that she's moved on, as should he. If his response and subsequent action is not in kind, I'd give him a little talk.
Hope it works out for you.
The same deal goes towards him and his 'intentions' with her, as I suspect them. He's always been one of her best-friends, and when he says "I miss you" and whatnot, he means he misses their best-friend social times. But it still strikes me as odd that a 20-year old guy would do that when he's at Uni and has moved on himself... I definitely do suspect that it's more than just an innocent thing for him. Even though he never got anything more than a friendship, I guess maybe he got a certain sorta kick out of being around her all day one-on-one, and misses even that sort of closeness. He pretty much knows that she wants to marry me and have my small Zique-children, so he knows he has no chance of pulling her or bedding her... but it's still way too fucking weird for me to dismiss it as just friendly chatter.
Thanks for the advice and views, keep 'em coming
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/