Stratocaster
WCR official whiner
+6|6698|Madrid, Spain
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the
third row stands on her chair and says :

"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole. what makes you
think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have
to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women llike me from
being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes,
but women at large... all in the name of humor."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up :
"You stay out of this, Mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!!!"
pokerplaya
want to go heads up?
+11|6705|cairns australia
ok this is not a blonde joke but could be.was an actual event.

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

warship

#1: Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

aircraft-carrier



#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Lighthouse
blademaster
I'm moving to Brazil
+2,075|6616
Leave blondes alone lol
BF2Craglyeye
Member
+72|6643|Australia
Excellent. Lets turn this into a Blonde joke thread.



A blond flips her car. A few minutes later an officer shows up and asks the blond what happened.

The blond says, “there was a tree in the middle of the road, so I swerved to the right and there was another tree, so I swerved to the left and there was another tree, so I swerved back to the to the right and there was another tree, SO! I swerved back to the left and there was another tree".

The officer said, "ma'am, there isn't a tree around here for thirty miles, that was your air freshener!"
Ettercrab
Member
+11|6623|Finland
q: How many blondes do you need to chance a lamp?

a: None, there is always stupid mens for the job.
sfarrar33
Halogenoalkane
+57|6589|InGerLand
a blonde gets sick of all the blonde jokes so she dies her hair red and drives out to a field full of sheep. She says to the farmer "if i can tell you how many sheep are in this field in one go can i take one home?" the farmer agrees and she takes a quick look at the field before saying "there are 321 sheep in that field" the farmer looks shocked and the blonde puts her prize in the car. Just before the blonde drives off the farmer says to her "if i can guess the real colour of your hair can i have my dog back?"

Shadow893
lel
+75|6663|England
A blonde and a brunette both want to commit suicide by jumping off a skyscraper. They jump at the same time. Which one dies first?



The brunette, the blonde has to ask for directions.
InviSniper
The first true Sniper.
+95|6614|Cumberland, MD, USA
A blonde decides to impress her husband by painting their living room a new color one glorious day. She cautiously reads the direction label and begins to paint. 4 hours later her husband comes home to find her lying on the floor passed out with 2 jackets on. After she recovers the husband asked her what happened. She said that the paint can read, "For best results put on 2 coats."
Shadow893
lel
+75|6663|England
What do Turtles and Blondes have in common?


When they're on their backs, they are both screwed.
Stratocaster
WCR official whiner
+6|6698|Madrid, Spain

Shadow893 wrote:

What do Turtles and Blondes have in common?


When they're on their backs, they are both screwed.
true!!
Xaritix
Banned
+1|6596|Somewhere near Beverly Hills
Yea, blademaster, Paris Hilton is a NATURAL blonde (I think), and your blonde jokes offend me! lol

But I'll take a crack at this:

lets see...uh...dang! I cant bring myself to make fun of Paris Hilton

Last edited by Xaritix (2006-03-20 17:18:14)

Prodie
Moderator Emeritus
+270|6745|Nova Scotia, Canada

Must your bring up your inane obsession with Paris Hilton in every thread?
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6742|PNW

Xaritix wrote:

Those A** hole admins close every thread I make about Paris Hilton

And I bring it up all the time because...just because I said so! Haven't you ever been in love with someone and wanted to shout it out to everyone that breathes(even though thats stupid, real men blog about it)

And I am POed that they close every thread I have about her *Sob Sob Cry Cry*

And it is not inane!
Go post on a Paris Hilton fan site.
eusgen
Nugget
+402|6763|Jupiter
So a blonde walks into a bar....
Sh1fty2k5
MacSwedish
+113|6681|Sweden

pokerplaya wrote:

ok this is not a blonde joke but could be.was an actual event.

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

warship

#1: Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

aircraft-carrier



#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Lighthouse
Isn't that a TV commercial?
Bravo3
Member
+12|6627

Xaritix wrote:

Yea, blademaster, Paris Hilton is a NATURAL blonde (I think), and your blonde jokes offend me! lol

But I'll take a crack at this:

lets see...uh...dang! I cant bring myself to make fun of Paris Hilton
Get the fuck over it. everyones tired of hearing about her UGLY ass.
Superior Mind
(not macbeth)
+1,755|6663
L O L
section9
Member
+9|6818|USA
Police Department
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:

Officer: What's 2 + 2?

Blonde: Ummm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"
Mr_Spork
Member
+2|6712
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
cailuc
Friendly fire isn't
+36|6590
**I think I need to inform people of a scam.**

I was approached by a couple of young blondes inside our local Tesco's, they offer to pack your shopping and carry it out to the car. 

When at the car they get it on with each other, and then give you the most amazing blowjob followed by a mind blowing threesome, after this you discover that they have stolen your wallet.

I had mine nicked last Thursday, Saturday, twice on Monday and again this morning, you have been warned!!

Last edited by cailuc (2006-03-25 09:48:38)

pokerplaya
want to go heads up?
+11|6705|cairns australia

Sh1fty2k5 wrote:

pokerplaya wrote:

ok this is not a blonde joke but could be.was an actual event.

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

warship

#1: Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

aircraft-carrier



#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Lighthouse
Isn't that a TV commercial?
google it its real,they may have used for an ad
cailuc
Friendly fire isn't
+36|6590
A blond girl comes home from school and talks to her mother.....

Blond Girl:  "I learnt to count at school today mummy, all the other girls could count to five but I can count to six listen,  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,"

Mother: "Well done dear"

Blond Girl" "Is this because I am blond mummy?"

Mother: "Yes Dear, it's because you are blond"

The next day she returns home from School again......

Blond Girl: "We learnt the alphabet at school today mummy, all the other girls knew their letters up to E, but I know them to F, listen; A, B, C, D ,E, F. "

Mother: "Well Done dear"

Blond Girl" "Is this because I am blond mummy?"

Mother: "Yes dear, it's because you are blond"

The next day she comes home from School again.....

Blond Girl: " We did biology in school today mummy and all the other girls have flat chests, but I have these"

She removes her top and shows her mother a perfect pair of 36C breasts...

Blond Girl: "Is this because I am blond mummy?"

Mother: "No dear it's because you are 28"
theDude5B
Cool member
+804|6721
Not a blonde joke but a female joke:

Why do women have smaller feet than men?...
Because evolution wanted them to stand closer to the sink.

*BOOM* *BOOM*
theDude5B
Cool member
+804|6721
Ok not a blonde joke either, but another "true story"

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (True story) 

Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at
the windshields of airliners, and military jets, all travelling at maximum
velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with
airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the
windshields of their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When
the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of
the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two
and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a
bow.

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the
experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British
scientists for suggestions.

You're going to love this...



Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:
"Defrost the chickens."
Kaosdad
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?
+201|6650|Broadlands, VA
A blonde walks into a hair salon listening to her MP3 player.  She gets her turn, tells the hair dresser exactly how she wants her hair done then says; “Do NOT remove my ear plugs!”  The hair dresser wonders how he’s going to do that.  He goes as far as he can, says “Screw it!” and pops out her ear plugs.

The blonde looks up, her eyes get huge and she drops over dead.  The police are summoned and the hair dresser tells the officer what happened.  The officer says; “Yep, I know what happened.” He picks up the MP3 player and hands it to the hair dresser who pops in the ear plugs.  All he hears is a single, looping track:  “Breath IN…..Breath OUT….”

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