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2009-02-14 15:38:12
BN
smells like wee wee
+159|6984
There is a lot of anti-psychologist and almost demonising of them on here. Not sure why.

With psychologists...you only get back what you put in. If ur honest with them, and in particular yourself, you will gain the most benefit.

Generally, the psychologists job is to reflect on what you have told them, make observations, and pose questions back to yourself. They will also us Cognitive behavioural therapy to help you overcome fears or deal with issues you have.

Sometimes you will talk through the whole session and they will listen or the other way around. Its up to you basically, you control the sessions.

U should go, you have nothing to lose.
2009-02-14 15:42:08
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|6900|United States of America
Just to be clear, there are differences between psychologists and psychiatrists (these folk are the ones who have M.D.'s and can prescribe stuff after sitting you on their couch).

I noticed that too, BN. These people aren't too kind towards them, and the general "there's nothing wrong/harden the fuck up" attitude isn't helping.
2009-02-14 15:47:17
andy12
Banned
+52|6873

BN wrote:

There is a lot of anti-psychologist and almost demonising of them on here. Not sure why.

With psychologists...you only get back what you put in. If ur honest with them, and in particular yourself, you will gain the most benefit.

Generally, the psychologists job is to reflect on what you have told them, make observations, and pose questions back to yourself. They will also us Cognitive behavioural therapy to help you overcome fears or deal with issues you have.

Sometimes you will talk through the whole session and they will listen or the other way around. Its up to you basically, you control the sessions.

U should go, you have nothing to lose.
Nothing to lose except money on the fad that is "getting help". Like I said, your "problems" will go with time. Probably a small amount of time if you toughen up a tad...
2009-02-14 18:48:40
BN
smells like wee wee
+159|6984

andy12 wrote:

BN wrote:

There is a lot of anti-psychologist and almost demonising of them on here. Not sure why.

With psychologists...you only get back what you put in. If ur honest with them, and in particular yourself, you will gain the most benefit.

Generally, the psychologists job is to reflect on what you have told them, make observations, and pose questions back to yourself. They will also us Cognitive behavioural therapy to help you overcome fears or deal with issues you have.

Sometimes you will talk through the whole session and they will listen or the other way around. Its up to you basically, you control the sessions.

U should go, you have nothing to lose.
Nothing to lose except money on the fad that is "getting help". Like I said, your "problems" will go with time. Probably a small amount of time if you toughen up a tad...
Some people do not have the skills necessary or just don't know how to deal with issues/grief/loss/ certain situations.

Its not a fad either, what a load of crap.  The mind requires medical attention just like the rest of your body. "Just toughen up" is macho bullshit. And just waiting until the problem goes away will compound the issue and it might never go away unless you confront it.

I've seen marriages breakdown, not because the people don't love each other, but because of one persons inability to confront issues.

I know someone who was raped at the age of 16 and is still suffering at 63 as they never dealt with the issues. She is always angry, hates men and has very low self esteem. Why? Because she never confronted issues. She doesn't have the skills or support network to help her. Nor, has she ever sought help which is sad.

I don't know the cost of a psychologist - My friend in Canada charges $60 in her private practice and $40 if you go through the university.

Not a lot of money if you want to go and see what its all about.
2009-02-14 20:47:29
DeathBecomesYu
Member
+171|6395

OrangeHound wrote:

DeathBecomesYu wrote:

Well Mitch, I have been almost exactly where you are but my case was a bit deeper medically. While playing in a basketball game for my high school my senior year, my heart started beating/fluttering on the court, about 230 beats a minute. I thought I was going to die. It lasted a few minutes and then went away. It happened again while spring training for baseball in South Carolina and then I got really worried and started having the exact same feelings you have. Finally, it happened again but this time it didn't go away and in the emergency room my heart was stopped and restarted twice while I was wide awake and aware of my surroundings. It was a traumatic experience.
That story is certain to help Mitch get past his fears ...

I believe it will and can. Explaining an example and how I overcame is something that can help. Knowing that there are people who have gone through far worse and have made it is something he should know about. Do you suggest to hide even more from other experiences...how does that help???  Anyhow, my point is simple. There are people who feel like him, have experienced much worse but make it through and live a full life. Just as BN said above, there are people who can help and it doesn't have to cost that much and in some cases not at all.

The last time I was in the emergency room for this condition, I was put in a room with a man that was in his early 90's. His condition was far worse than me but he talked with me, gave me his advice and his history and made me understand much more about my condition and what I may be in for in the future. It made me see that if a man his age can deal with it, then I surely could. So listening to someone with similar experiences does help and can have a very positive outcome. Hiding from your fears, not listening to others that experience what you do will not help him at all.

Why do you think there are groups of people that go into rehab for alcohol and drugs, sit down in groups and discuss their lives and why they are there or what happened in their lives to get where they are....because listening to others who have succeeded or are going through similar experiences can be of great help. But I thank you for being positive (sarcasm) and reinforcing the negative part of my post.....congrats for undercutting the message of that post.......

The OP is asking for knowledge and help in regards to what he is experiencing, who better to talk with or help than people who have experienced similar experiences and maybe we or others can point him in the right direction. If I chose to ignore the "old man" next to me in the hospital, I am sure I wouldn't understand as much as I do now.
2009-02-15 00:53:30
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6745|Global Command

DesertFox- wrote:

Just to be clear, there are differences between psychologists and psychiatrists (these folk are the ones who have M.D.'s and can prescribe stuff after sitting you on their couch).

I noticed that too, BN. These people aren't too kind towards them, and the general "there's nothing wrong/harden the fuck up" attitude isn't helping.
No, maybe it isn't, but it could also be the best advice he'll ever get.


Life is way too short; stop fucking around and see and do as much as you can. Shag as many girls as you can. Learn as much as you can.

Don't invest time that your going to spend in regret.
2009-02-15 00:58:05
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5801

Cho you need to stop being so angry, just harden the fuck up and go out.

Eric and Dylan you need to stop being pussies and stand up for yourselves.

I don't like the harden the fuck up argument. I also don't like the see a doctor argument. So I'm going to have to say have a deep introspective of your life and then decide the best outcome for yourself.
2009-02-15 01:01:47
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6745|Global Command
The ONLY to get over your fears is to face them.
2009-02-15 01:03:27
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5801

ATG wrote:

The ONLY to get over your fears is to face them.
Kill everyone tbh
Deep introspective works fine also.
2009-02-15 01:24:21
Lai
Member
+186|6367
I'm not saying psychs suck. I'm only saying that his issue does not require one at this stage. If he does go, his issue might be catagorized on a higher stage than it actually is, because he went for 'professional help' in the first place. Apart from it costing money, that is something you might not want.
2009-02-15 01:32:31
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6745|Global Command

Macbeth wrote:

ATG wrote:

The ONLY to get over your fears is to face them.
Kill everyone tbh
Deep introspective works fine also.
Ask yourself; do you want to be like this  or perhaps something more like this.
2009-02-15 01:38:26
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5801

ATG wrote:

Macbeth wrote:

ATG wrote:

The ONLY to get over your fears is to face them.
Kill everyone tbh
Deep introspective works fine also.
Ask yourself; do you want to be like this  or perhaps something more like this.
Depending on how I feel at the current moment it could go either way.

Sometimes facing your fear is a bad thing because a lot of people could end up hurt. Seeing a doctor could make you a fucking zombie on a bunch of different meds you don't need.

Stopping for a few days, dropping some LSD, smoking some pot, and just thinking about what the hell has gotten you to this point and your goals and what you have to do to get to them is better.
2009-02-15 02:26:18
BVC
Member
+325|6911
OP, try taking small steps which build up to bigger interactions - go out for a coffee, make small talk with the person behind the kwik-e-mart counter etc...try something bigger once you're over that - have a friend round for a beer or dinner, or a LAN gaming session maybe.  After that, a few friends..you'll get the hang of it!  Small steps, and build them up over time.
2009-02-15 02:59:03
Lai
Member
+186|6367

Pubic wrote:

OP, try taking small steps which build up to bigger interactions - go out for a coffee, make small talk with the person behind the kwik-e-mart counter etc...try something bigger once you're over that - have a friend round for a beer or dinner, or a LAN gaming session maybe.  After that, a few friends..you'll get the hang of it!  Small steps, and build them up over time.
LMFAO, I've never seen anyone recommend a LAN party to someone with a social issue.

Seriously though, I would not advice a LAN party. He does not just need a lot of people around, he needs to be in an open environment as well. Being in a semi-closed environment filled with geeks might be rather claustrofobic for one with his issue. Apart from that gaming is your way into agoraphobia, not out.
2009-02-15 03:04:40
rdx-fx
...
+955|6807
The point of "Harden up, be a man";

It's not about impressing the fools around you, nor playing at being a tough guy, nor pretending you're something you're not.

It's doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, with a minimum of drama, a maximum of straightforward honesty & dependability, and a complete disregard for what the clowns on the sidelines might think.

If you take some bumps and bruises, you shrug it off and keep moving. 
    Nancy Drama-Queen on the sidelines saying "oh, poor baby got a boo-boo".. fuck her, she can go find her excuses for drama elsewhere
If your leg is broken, you say "ow, fuck, that hurt" and go get it fixed.
    Billy Bob on the sidelines saying "man up and walk it off, pussy".. fuck him too. Not his leg, and his opinion wasn't asked for.

Do what you need to do to get yourself straight.
Really.  Talk to someone if you need to, or just sort it out and face it yourself.
2009-02-15 04:25:23
andy12
Banned
+52|6873

BN wrote:

andy12 wrote:

BN wrote:

There is a lot of anti-psychologist and almost demonising of them on here. Not sure why.

With psychologists...you only get back what you put in. If ur honest with them, and in particular yourself, you will gain the most benefit.

Generally, the psychologists job is to reflect on what you have told them, make observations, and pose questions back to yourself. They will also us Cognitive behavioural therapy to help you overcome fears or deal with issues you have.

Sometimes you will talk through the whole session and they will listen or the other way around. Its up to you basically, you control the sessions.

U should go, you have nothing to lose.
Nothing to lose except money on the fad that is "getting help". Like I said, your "problems" will go with time. Probably a small amount of time if you toughen up a tad...
Some people do not have the skills necessary or just don't know how to deal with issues/grief/loss/ certain situations.

Its not a fad either, what a load of crap.  The mind requires medical attention just like the rest of your body. "Just toughen up" is macho bullshit. And just waiting until the problem goes away will compound the issue and it might never go away unless you confront it.

I've seen marriages breakdown, not because the people don't love each other, but because of one persons inability to confront issues.

I know someone who was raped at the age of 16 and is still suffering at 63 as they never dealt with the issues. She is always angry, hates men and has very low self esteem. Why? Because she never confronted issues. She doesn't have the skills or support network to help her. Nor, has she ever sought help which is sad.

I don't know the cost of a psychologist - My friend in Canada charges $60 in her private practice and $40 if you go through the university.

Not a lot of money if you want to go and see what its all about.
It is largely a fad nowadays, the only reason I'm complaining is because I can't get in on the action and make some cash off some Americans that over dramatise trivial issues to look "deep". See Mitch.

Toughen up is bullshit? Well you can either make a massive deal out of minute problems for the sake of it, or you can get real, get some balls and deal with it. Who hasn't had a small phase when they don't want to go outside? Who hasn't had a phase when they're insecure with no confidence? The kid has hardly been raped or tortured and needs help coming to terms with what happened because his mind has repressed the memories... Jesus.
2009-02-15 09:51:50
Mitch
16 more years
+877|6741|South Florida
As i sit here at my computer, i too contract a little bit of the 'harden up' mindset. But when im out in certain locations doing certain things that trigger anxiety, suddenly harden up doesn't help very much.

I went to the mall yesterday with my girl and waited in a crowded line for an hour to get her a build-a-bear.

Nothing bad happened.

The more i realize nothing bad happens, the easier it will get i hope.

Strange how certain places trigger it and certain places dont.

But the end point is no places cause what I'm always worried about.


---------

Deathbecomesyu,
you make a very good point, and what i've come to realize is i also fear a random medical problem happening... Just walking at the mall and ahh something is happening what do i do... do i call 911? is it an emergency... am i in trouble?? or is it just a random chest pain that will go away in 10 seconds.

Do you still have the possibility of having the attacks?

----------

I also agree that SOME people use the "getting help" thing as a fad, to sound deep, or to get sympathy. I on the other hand, wouldn't go telling the world as its none of their business. And there are plenty of people who dont use it as a fad.

---------

And i dont believe in taking drugs just because its someones opinion that i need them.
15 more years! 15 more years!
2009-02-15 10:05:10
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|6900|United States of America

ATG wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:

Just to be clear, there are differences between psychologists and psychiatrists (these folk are the ones who have M.D.'s and can prescribe stuff after sitting you on their couch).

I noticed that too, BN. These people aren't too kind towards them, and the general "there's nothing wrong/harden the fuck up" attitude isn't helping.
No, maybe it isn't, but it could also be the best advice he'll ever get.


Life is way too short; stop fucking around and see and do as much as you can. Shag as many girls as you can. Learn as much as you can.

Don't invest time that your going to spend in regret.
I don't disagree that he needs to face his fears, but through the systematic way. This "harden up" is macho bullshit. We're not stoics in this day and age.
Despite the last part being so straightforward, inspirational and all, it doesn't translate well to real life either.
2009-02-15 10:08:28
andy12
Banned
+52|6873

DesertFox- wrote:

ATG wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:

Just to be clear, there are differences between psychologists and psychiatrists (these folk are the ones who have M.D.'s and can prescribe stuff after sitting you on their couch).

I noticed that too, BN. These people aren't too kind towards them, and the general "there's nothing wrong/harden the fuck up" attitude isn't helping.
No, maybe it isn't, but it could also be the best advice he'll ever get.


Life is way too short; stop fucking around and see and do as much as you can. Shag as many girls as you can. Learn as much as you can.

Don't invest time that your going to spend in regret.
I don't disagree that he needs to face his fears, but through the systematic way. This "harden up" is macho bullshit. We're not stoics in this day and age.
Despite the last part being so straightforward, inspirational and all, it doesn't translate well to real life either.
Actually the OP took the harden up advice and seems to be doing better by himself. Hardly Macho bullshit, a lot of people do need to toughen up, it's reality that kids going into the real world do infact need to get some balls and face life. Life gets harder when you get to that age, and rather than every teen paying for weekly sessions of "help" they could just face their fears. They're going to have to do it anyway, why not do it with that extra cash...
2009-02-15 10:11:03
Mitch
16 more years
+877|6741|South Florida

andy12 wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:

ATG wrote:


No, maybe it isn't, but it could also be the best advice he'll ever get.


Life is way too short; stop fucking around and see and do as much as you can. Shag as many girls as you can. Learn as much as you can.

Don't invest time that your going to spend in regret.
I don't disagree that he needs to face his fears, but through the systematic way. This "harden up" is macho bullshit. We're not stoics in this day and age.
Despite the last part being so straightforward, inspirational and all, it doesn't translate well to real life either.
Actually the OP took the harden up advice and seems to be doing better by himself. Hardly Macho bullshit, a lot of people do need to toughen up, it's reality that kids going into the real world do infact need to get some balls and face life. Life gets harder when you get to that age, and rather than every teen paying for weekly sessions of "help" they could just face their fears. They're going to have to do it anyway, why not do it with that extra cash...
I would say im doing it more systematically than i am just hardening up?
Isn't it basically the same thing though, hardening up systematically........ Doing a little more each time, going a little farther each time, getting a little more comfortable each time. Thats systematically hardening up.
15 more years! 15 more years!
2009-02-15 10:14:18
andy12
Banned
+52|6873

Mitch wrote:

andy12 wrote:

DesertFox- wrote:


I don't disagree that he needs to face his fears, but through the systematic way. This "harden up" is macho bullshit. We're not stoics in this day and age.
Despite the last part being so straightforward, inspirational and all, it doesn't translate well to real life either.
Actually the OP took the harden up advice and seems to be doing better by himself. Hardly Macho bullshit, a lot of people do need to toughen up, it's reality that kids going into the real world do infact need to get some balls and face life. Life gets harder when you get to that age, and rather than every teen paying for weekly sessions of "help" they could just face their fears. They're going to have to do it anyway, why not do it with that extra cash...
I would say im doing it more systematically than i am just hardening up?
Isn't it basically the same thing though, hardening up systematically........ Doing a little more each time, going a little farther each time, getting a little more comfortable each time. Thats systematically hardening up.
The councillor would have told you to do the same things after recommending "a few more sessions" and screwing you out of as much as possible. You're facing your fears yourself, you'll feel better because you've done it on your own initiative rather than being told to. You'll also have more cash and be confident that you can resolve your own problems by yourself.


Now that'll be 50 dollars.
2009-02-15 10:50:24
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+796|6900|United States of America
Doing better? It's been not even two days since he posted the topic!
It takes time for change to occur. Mitch has just been put on the path, and there's a long way to go.
2009-02-15 11:39:42
andy12
Banned
+52|6873

DesertFox- wrote:

Doing better? It's been not even two days since he posted the topic!
It takes time for change to occur. Mitch has just been put on the path, and there's a long way to go.
And it's obviously working and saving him money. People "get help" over there way too quickly...
2009-02-15 13:15:31
ATG
Banned
+5,233|6745|Global Command
Good therapy is rubbing wild sage between your fingers, sweet grass and cedar work as well. The sound track of the places where you find these things will bring calm to you.

I go as far away from roads as possible. The main distraction is the sound of airplanes. I sit still and listen to the wind. My senses become active and I breath deep the cold clear air. I take time to notice insects. I compare their existence to mine, and I find contentment. Even the soil speaks to me. Sometimes I gather a handfull and smell it. That's what - want; no casket or embalming fluid. I shall live again. Perhaps as a live oak, or a patch of lichen; turn my ashes into the ground so that it might help something else live.

I can set all troubles aside when I hear the wind. The Earth itself is my therapy.
2009-02-15 13:22:03
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6716|so randum

ATG wrote:

Good therapy is rubbing wild sage between your fingers, sweet grass and cedar work as well. The sound track of the places where you find these things will bring calm to you.

I go as far away from roads as possible. The main distraction is the sound of airplanes. I sit still and listen to the wind. My senses become active and I breath deep the cold clear air. I take time to notice insects. I compare their existence to mine, and I find contentment. Even the soil speaks to me. Sometimes I gather a handfull and smell it. That's what - want; no casket or embalming fluid. I shall live again. Perhaps as a live oak, or a patch of lichen; turn my ashes into the ground so that it might help something else live.

I can set all troubles aside when I hear the wind. The Earth itself is my therapy.
Sounds a bit hippyish, but i know what you mean
Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella

 

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