BF2S Forums My history with instant messages.

I used to have aol back in the day, going back to like 1995. I would always have the weirdest messages from people.  I eventually started saving them. When I got in to web design, I showcased all these messages on a site I used to run. I was just going through the old stuff so I figured I'd post a few.

This first one goes back probably to 1997. Some chick came in a chatroom asking for cybersex and everyone in the room told me to do it. So I did.  Me typing in caps was just me mocking her since I don't type like that. Years later it just makes it hard to read.

OnlineHost: *** You are in "Cinema Chat". ***

I Cable I: HI
BLONDEBRAINNASA: HI BABE
I Cable I: YOU START
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I'M NOT VERY GOOD SO YOU START
I Cable I: IM NAKED
BLONDEBRAINNASA: ME TOO BABY
I Cable I: YOURE KINDA FAT, BUT I KISS YOU ANYWAY
I Cable I: I MOVE THE BLUBBER ANDLICK YOUR PUBES
I Cable I: IM CHOKING ON THE PUBE
I Cable I: HELP ME!
I Cable I: IM DYING
BLONDEBRAINNASA: VERY FUNNY
I Cable I: OK, I'LL BE SERIOUS
BLONDEBRAINNASA: THANK YOU
I Cable I: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO
BLONDEBRAINNASA: ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BABE
I Cable I: I WANT TO HAVE ANAL
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OK
I Cable I: IM THROWING YOU DOWN ON THE TABLE
I Cable I: AND KISSING YOU ALL OVER
I Cable I: YOU LIKE THAT HUH BITCH
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY I WANT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Cable I: IN WHICH HOLE?
I Cable I: I CANT WAIT TO SLIDE INSIDE YOU
BLONDEBRAINNASA: YOU PICK
I Cable I: OK, IM GOING TO BE SELFISH AND INSERT MYSELF IN YOUR MOUTH
I Cable I: TELL ME WHAT YOU DO NEXT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I'M SUCKING YOU
I Cable I: THATS IT?
I Cable I: WHERE THE DEEPTHROAT ACTION?
I Cable I: GUZZLE ME DOWN
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OK BABY I'M GUZZLING YOU DOWN
I Cable I: SINCE YOU DONT GIVE GOOD HEAD, I'M GOING TO SLIDE INSIDE YOU NOW
I Cable I: I GET INTO POSITION
I Cable I: I HAVE NO TROUBLE GETTING IT.
I Cable I: ITS REALLY WIDE OPEN DOWN THERE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES BABY I WANT YOU BADLY
I Cable I: I THINK MY WAIST MY GET SUCKED IN, SO I DONT SLIDE IN ALL THE WAY
I Cable I: I BEGIN TO WONDER IF ITLL ECHO, SO I PULL OUT.
I Cable I: I GO DOWN AND LICK YOU A LITTLE BIT.
I Cable I: I TELL YOU THAT YOU TASTE NICE
I Cable I: SURE ENOUGH, THE SOUND COMES BACK.
I Cable I: I LICK YOU A COUPLE MORE TIMES
I Cable I: THEN I FLIP YOU TO YOUR KNEES
I Cable I: I GRAB YOUR HIPS.
I Cable I: I SLAM LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW
I Cable I: YOUR ASS SHAKES LIKE JELLO
I Cable I: DOES THIS FEEL GOOD?
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY YES IT FEELS GREAT
I Cable I: SCREAM MY NAME FOR ME
I Cable I: AS I SLAM YOU HARDER AND HARDER
BLONDEBRAINNASA: WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME???
I Cable I: KENTO
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO YES OH YES
I Cable I: I GRAB YOU OFF THE TABLE
I Cable I: AND THROW YOU AGAINST THE WALL
I Cable I: YOURE FACING THE WALL
I Cable I: I THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOU LIKE THAT HEEHEE
I Cable I: I GRAB YOUR HAIR
I Cable I: IT GETS ROUGH
I Cable I: I ACCIDENTALLY BASH YOUR FACE AGAINST THE WALL
I Cable I: (SORRY)
I Cable I: I GO FASTER AND FASTER
BLONDEBRAINNASA: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO MEAN???
I Cable I: SORRY, I GET CARRIED AWAY WHEN I 'DO IT'.
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I GUESS SO
I Cable I: ARE YOU STILL ENJOYING IT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: YES I GUESS SO
BLONDEBRAINNASA: YES I GUESS SO
I Cable I: DOESNT MY PENIS FEEL GOOD
I Cable I: ITS SO DEEP
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES MORE I WANT MORE BABE
I Cable I: I WANT YOU ON TOP OF ME NOW, OK?
I Cable I: I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOURE DOING TO ME
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I'M FUCKING YOU LIKE A WILD ANIMAL
I Cable I: OH YESSSSS
I Cable I: MOREMOREMORE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I DON'T EVER WANT THIS TO END
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY YOU FEEL SO GOOD
I Cable I: I KNOW I DO
I Cable I: KEEP GOING
BLONDEBRAINNASA: AS I'M FUCKING YOU LIKE A WILD ANIMAL I'M KISSING YOU
I Cable I: I THRUST UP, SO I GO IN YOUR DEEPER.
I Cable I: YOU MOAN IN DELIGHT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES I WANT YOU KENTO
I Cable I: I FLIP YOU OVER SO YOURE ON TOP
I Cable I: I MEAN I AM
I Cable I: OOPS! HEE HEE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OK BABE
I Cable I: IM ON TOP POUNDING IT INTO YOU
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES MORE KENTO I WANT MORE
I Cable I: I FLIP YOU ON YOUR SIDE
I Cable I: I LUBE UP MY PENIS
I Cable I: AND I SLIDE INTO YOUR BUTTHOLE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY
I Cable I: ITS SO NICE SINCE ITS ACTUALLY TIGHT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: KEEP GOING
I Cable I: I POUND YOU FASTER AND FASTER
I Cable I: YOU FEEL SO NICE IM GETTING HARDER AND HARDER
I Cable I: AS I SLIDE IN YOUR BUTT, I TAKE MY FINGERS AND FINGER YOUR OTHER HOLE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YESSSSSS
I Cable I: OH GOD YOU FEEL SO NICE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: HEY HOW OLD ARE YOU BABE?????? TELL THE TRUTH
I Cable I: DONT RUIN WITH WITH IDLE CHIT CHAT
I Cable I: OOPS, THIS WITH
BLONDEBRAINNASA: I WON'T I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE
I Cable I: I'M 19.
BLONDEBRAINNASA: KOOL OK NOW WHERE WERE WE BABE
I Cable I: WE WERE GETTING OUR GROOVE ON, BABY
BLONDEBRAINNASA: THAT'S RIGHT KEEP GOING
I Cable I: KEEP SCREAMING MY NAME
I Cable I: THAT TURNS ME ON
I Cable I: IM POUNDING YOU, AND MY FINGERS ARE DOING THEIR THING, TOO
BLONDEBRAINNASA: KENTO, KENTO
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES KENTO
I Cable I: YEAH, THATS IT BABY
I Cable I: DO YOU WANT ME TO CUM INSIDE YOUR BUTT? OR ELSEWHERE?
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO THIS FEELS SO GOOD WHEREEVER YOU WANT
I Cable I: I KEEP DOING YOUR BUTT.
I Cable I: IT GETS LOOSER AND LOOSER, BUT IT STILL FEELS REAL NICE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES KENTO OH BABY
I Cable I: I SLIDE YOU ONTO YOUR STOMACH.
I Cable I: AND I KEEP RAMMING YOUR BUTT
I Cable I: I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO EXPLODE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO
I Cable I: LETS HOPE ITS NOT THE ALCOHOL
I Cable I: I THINK IM GOING TO CUM
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH YES KENTO MORE I WANT MORE
I Cable I: I bend you do we're back in doggy style.
I Cable I: so
I Cable I: DOES THIS FEEL GOOD IN DOGGY?
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO THIS FEELS GREAT
I Cable I: IT BETTER
I Cable I: I HAVE A REP TO PROTECT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: MORE GIVE ME MORE KENTO
I Cable I: I PULL OUT OF YOUR BUTT AND GO BACK INTO YOUR OTHER HOLE
I Cable I: I SLAM YOU FAST AND HARD
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH BABY
I Cable I: SINCE IM DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB, I KNOW IM GOING TO CUM
I Cable I: I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER
I Cable I: IM GOING TO EXPLODE INSIDE YOU
I Cable I: DO YOU WANT THAT
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO I DONN'T CARE BABE
I Cable I: YOURE RIGHT WHY DO I CARE WHAT YOU WANT
I Cable I: I SLIDE DEEPER AND HARDER
I Cable I: I BEGIN TO CUM
I Cable I: IM SHOOTING A HUDE LOAD INSIDE YOU
I Cable I: IM SCREAMING YOUR NAME
I Cable I: 'OH BLOND, BLOND!!!!!'
I Cable I: YOU FEEL ME SHAKE AND QUIVER FROM THE INSIDE
BLONDEBRAINNASA: MY NAME IS BETH
I Cable I: 'OH BETH BETH!!!!'
BLONDEBRAINNASA: OH KENTO YOU FEEL SO GOOD
I Cable I: I PULL OUT, FEELING GOOD FROM ANOTHER CONQUEST
I Cable I: I THEN REALIZE I DID A BAD THING
I Cable I: I CAME INSIDE YOU.
I Cable I: YOU COULD GET KNOCKED UP.
I Cable I: I CAN'T HAVE THAT
I Cable I: SO I GO TO MY BAG
I Cable I: I GET MY GUN
I Cable I: I SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD
I Cable I: I LEAVE

After that I'd get messages from her.

BLONDEBRAINNASA: I CABLE I YOU ARE FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD

BLONDEBRAINNASA: KISS MY ASS CABLE

BLONDEBRAINNASA: I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL CABLE

BLONDEBRAINNASA: YOU ARE A SICK LITTLE MAN CABLE

BLONDEBRAINNASA: DIE CABLE DIE  (I actually made 'Die Cable Die' as a screen name years later. See next message.)



PRANK TIME!!

I was in a local chat room on AOL, this is probably 1999-2000. It was probably 4 or 5 in the morning, and some guy comes in asking "Anyone want to meet for sex?" I said I do. He figured I was a chick.

Tommboy76:   m/f ?
Die Cable Die: F.
Tommboy76:   where ru from
Tommboy76:   i am in west roxbury
Die Cable Die: really
Die Cable Die: kinky
Tommboy76:   where ru located
Die Cable Die: roslindale
Tommboy76:   yeah right
Die Cable Die: near sacred heart.
Tommboy76:   do you want to meet
Die Cable Die: Right now?
Tommboy76:   and please each other
Tommboy76:   whenever
Tommboy76:   it is up to you
Die Cable Die: Yes. Now.
Die Cable Die: Meet me somewhere.
Tommboy76:   ok
Tommboy76:   where
Die Cable Die: Do you know roslindale at all?
Tommboy76:   what do you look like
Tommboy76:   yup
Die Cable Die: i'm a sexy bitch.
Die Cable Die: but who cares about looks, i'm going to suck your dick
Tommboy76:   ru serious
Die Cable Die: oh yes
Tommboy76:   ok
Tommboy76:   where do you want to meet
Die Cable Die: how well do you know roslindale
Tommboy76:   pretty good
Die Cable Die: do you know cantebury st?
Tommboy76:   yup sacred heart is on that street
Die Cable Die: correct.
Tommboy76:   ok
Die Cable Die: which way would you get there?
Tommboy76:   come down poplar
Die Cable Die: yeah, come down poplar.
Tommboy76:   ok and
Die Cable Die: pass sacred hearrt.
Tommboy76:   ok
Die Cable Die: and take a left onto seymour.
Tommboy76:   ok
Die Cable Die: theres a big brick building.
Tommboy76:   yup
Die Cable Die: beep in front of it.
Tommboy76:   ru sure
Die Cable Die: and i will come out and meet you
Die Cable Die: im positive.
Die Cable Die: im really wet
Tommboy76:   this is not a joke
Die Cable Die: no i need to suck something
Tommboy76:   15 minutes ok
Die Cable Die: ok, see you then.
Tommboy76:   can you call me to prove that you r for real
Die Cable Die: i don't have a phone sorry.
Tommboy76:   the brick building
Die Cable Die: yeah.
Tommboy76:   on the right or the left
Die Cable Die: just park on the same side as the building. right.
Tommboy76:   where r we goona fool around
Die Cable Die: i know of a place
Tommboy76:   r u sure
Die Cable Die: just leave now before i change my mind
Tommboy76:   ok i will be there in 10 minutes
Die Cable Die: ok, see you then.
Tommboy76:   bye i will beep
Die Cable Die: be hard!
Tommboy76:   i will be

Website Commentary wrote:

And, about 20minutes later, there's a beep coming from down the street. Which is not where I wanted him to beep. I look out the window, and I see an suv backing up from the bend on my street. Which is odd. Then it goes back to where it came from, around the bend. A few minutes later, there's a beep where I told this guy to be a beep. It was him. He had showed up.

Of course, since I'm not a chick, I didn't go out to "blow him." I stayed in my nice dry house, and chuckled at him. He drove off.

Then he came back online a few minutes later.

Tommboy76:   why didnt you come out
Die Cable Die: What?
Tommboy76:   why did nt you come outside when i beeped
Die Cable Die: What kinda car did you have?
Tommboy76:   an explorer
Die Cable Die: ooh, I was expecting a car.
Die Cable Die: not an suv.
Die Cable Die: sorry, i didn't know it was you
Tommboy76:   well what do you say to trying it again
Die Cable Die: i'm not in the mood now. i masturbated while i waited
Tommboy76:   well do you work
Die Cable Die: yes alot
Tommboy76:   what do you do
Die Cable Die: i do work for the dpw
Tommboy76:   that is a good job
Tommboy76:   i work for coca cola
Die Cable Die: i like it. i get to work around men all day.
Tommboy76:   do you want my number in case you ever horny again
Die Cable Die: im getting horny thinking about men right now
Die Cable Die: i think i want you to come back
Tommboy76:   i am always ready to please a women in need
Tommboy76:   please do not waste my time
Die Cable Die: so now im a waste???
Die Cable Die: and you want me to blow you???
Tommboy76:   no
Tommboy76:   i did not say that
Die Cable Die: no, you dont want a blowjob?? fine!
Tommboy76:   i do
Tommboy76:   please
Die Cable Die: can you handle being deepthroated?
Tommboy76:   i think so
Tommboy76:   which building ru 48 or 50
Die Cable Die: Why do you think I'm in either of those?????
Tommboy76:   i do not know you said the brick building
Tommboy76:   those r both brick
Die Cable Die: oh yeah
Tommboy76:   i went to the brick house on the right and there were 48 and 50
Tommboy76:   which one ru in
Die Cable Die: im not telling.
Die Cable Die: just beep and i will come out
Tommboy76:   promise
Die Cable Die: :wicked grin:
Tommboy76:   what ?
Die Cable Die: >
Tommboy76:   i am on my way
Tommboy76:   see you in 5 minutes
Tommboy76:   ok
Die Cable Die: ok.
Tommboy76:   a green explorer
Die Cable Die: right
Tommboy76:   i will be in the street because there r no spots on the street to park
Die Cable Die: ok
Tommboy76:   r u horny
Die Cable Die: a little
Tommboy76:   well i will drive you crazy
Tommboy76:   promise
Die Cable Die: all men say that. none deliver.
Tommboy76:   i do not lie i deliver the goods
Tommboy76:   i please you then you please me that is how i work
Die Cable Die: you deliver coke, and nothing more!
Tommboy76:   i do not relax until you r completely satisfied
Tommboy76:   do not think so
Tommboy76:   i am on my way
Die Cable Die: okie dokie.
Tommboy76:   5 minute si will beep please com out right away
Die Cable Die: sure
Tommboy76:   ok here i come
Die Cable Die: ok, mighty mouse.

Website Commentary wrote:

So, I shut down, and go to bed. A few minutes later, I hear a car drive by me rather fast. Screeech. Beep beeep! haha! The fuckin' dolt is back! Every few minutes I would hear him beep. Impatient type beeps. The beeps of a desperate man. Then I heard a car take a fast turn around the corner, I look out the window, and see him flying down the street. He stops at the stop sign. And then peels out. He was not a happy man.

Total time elapsed: 7-9minutes.

A few minutes after that, I heard more beeps that sounded like him. Maybe he had come back? I'll never know.


He deserved to get stood up. Fucking pig never even asked my name...


And finally, he did EMail me about a day after.

His email to me wrote:

"why do you have to play head games if you did not want to hook up then you should have just told me

                                                                                                     goodbye"

In December 2001, I got a message from a person and dropped a nod to the original cybersex conversation.

Syndin897: helo nice name
Syndin897: wut does mean
I Cable I: It doesn't mean anything.
Syndin897: do you cyber
I Cable I: Only when they let me "accidentally" bash their head against a wall.
Syndin897: want to cyber
Syndin897: im good
I Cable I: Really? People that type well in cyber really turns me on.
I Cable I: OH GOD!
I Cable I: I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU ANYMORE!
I Cable I: YOU'VE TURNED ME ON!
Syndin897: are you hards
I Cable I: I'm taking it out!
I Cable I: I'm touching it!
I Cable I: I'm stroking it!!
Syndin897: tak it out baby
I Cable I: Faster!!
I Cable I: Faster!!
I Cable I: I'm close!!!
Syndin897: ohhhhhh im so wet
I Cable I: I'm about toooo jiziiziziizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Syndin897: no
I Cable I: I'm cumming!
I Cable I: Oh yesssss!
Syndin897: wait for me
I Cable I: And I'm all done!
I Cable I: Thank you so much! I needed that!
Syndin897: lets do it slower now
I Cable I: Again? You animal!
I Cable I: I can't go again. I'm done!
I Cable I: I'm spent.
Syndin897: im horny
Syndin897: your turnin me on
Syndin897: what are you doin now
I Cable I: Sorry. I got off. I really could care less about you now. See yourself to the door.
Syndin897: you used me
Syndin897: want to met
I Cable I: I'm spent now. I just want to take a nap and then have a sandwich.
Syndin897: want to cudle wit me
I Cable I: Why? I got mine.
Syndin897: do you want moore
I Cable I: Oh, I'd LOVE to have Mandy Moore!
I Cable I: But I don't see it happening.
Syndin897: i lok just like many moore
I Cable I: Sure ya do.
Syndin897: i do people think she is my sis
I Cable I: Sure they do.
Syndin897: who do you lok like
I Cable I: Do you remember "Small Wonder"?
Syndin897: no many moore is my friends cousin
I Cable I: Sure she is.
Syndin897: me and many moore kissed once
Syndin897: she is a good kisser
I Cable I: Sure you did.
Syndin897: are you honrny baby
Syndin897: i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Cable I: No.
Syndin897: lets cyber
I Cable I: I already did.
Syndin897: you a min man
I Cable I: Two pump chump.
Syndin897: lets met
I Cable I: Come again?
Syndin897: do you want to met me
I Cable I: ..wha?
Syndin897: call me and we can do some phone sex
I Cable I: Okay, give me your number.
Syndin897: are you gonin call me now
I Cable I: Whenever you want, Mandy! Just give me the number.
Syndin897: i sound better than many
Syndin897: she is jelus of me

I got a lot of messages from dudes wanting to meet me for sex because they assumed I was a chick. Good times. I had this one chick message me over the span of about a year. She was fucking bonkers. Hilarious stuff.