I'm not flaming, and think wot you've said makes sense, but my eyes are hurting. Please use that thing we call "paragraphs". Ta.DesertFox- wrote:
I disagree with fadedsteve pretty much 97.5%. Part of my logic of why such a high number of marraiges fail is that people are idiots. Comparing monogamy of humans to animal life is insulting to me as well. The huge differences that are possessed and then the comparison is made to lower life forms doesn't speak well for humanity in general. I'm not denying that humans are animalistic and part of that scientific kingdom, though, but humans are should be better. I think a lot of married people rushed into relationships and thought they were marrying the person for them and that is the only person in the world, a situation my father, for one, always warned me to watch out for while growing up. It must be their perfect match because after all, would Hollywood lie? These people don't care for each other as an ideally married couple should. When you find someone you care enough about that you wouldn't want to spend your life with anyone else for certain, that's who someone should marry. I find it hard to believe that all the married people have spent so much time looking for and getting to know the person they wish to marry. I like to joke about the institution of marraige, too, but it's not something to be taken lightly. I'm not married, but I want to do so with the right person.
Long story short, the divorce rate works against his argument. If humans can't keep a marraige with one person together, how would they do any better being with more than one?
Yeah, I would use paragraphs if only this forum had an indent feature. Perhaps it's a subliminal protest.
Appart from the obvious need of paragraphs, It's quite a good argument.{HMS}_Sir_Del_Boy wrote:
I'm not flaming, and think wot you've said makes sense, but my eyes are hurting. Please use that thing we call "paragraphs". Ta.DesertFox- wrote:
I disagree with fadedsteve pretty much 97.5%. Part of my logic of why such a high number of marraiges fail is that people are idiots. Comparing monogamy of humans to animal life is insulting to me as well. The huge differences that are possessed and then the comparison is made to lower life forms doesn't speak well for humanity in general. I'm not denying that humans are animalistic and part of that scientific kingdom, though, but humans are should be better. I think a lot of married people rushed into relationships and thought they were marrying the person for them and that is the only person in the world, a situation my father, for one, always warned me to watch out for while growing up. It must be their perfect match because after all, would Hollywood lie? These people don't care for each other as an ideally married couple should. When you find someone you care enough about that you wouldn't want to spend your life with anyone else for certain, that's who someone should marry. I find it hard to believe that all the married people have spent so much time looking for and getting to know the person they wish to marry. I like to joke about the institution of marraige, too, but it's not something to be taken lightly. I'm not married, but I want to do so with the right person.
Long story short, the divorce rate works against his argument. If humans can't keep a marraige with one person together, how would they do any better being with more than one?
People should marry whom they love, not whom they (merely) fall in love with.
he should,I'm Jamesey wrote:
deeznutz1245 wrote:
suomalainen_äijä wrote:
Divorce
cheatSo you guys read "debate and serious talk" and decided that meant "try your lame jokes here" ?Hunter/Jumper wrote:
buy the book " Porno for women " try and acomplish 2 or 3 things a day or get 2 - 18 year old girlfreinds instead.
Congrats on the son Fred, hope it gets better.
the fact that he is complianing about his wife being hard to deal with after child birth seams pretty niave and funny yes. further . . . . . .Vub wrote:
Hang in there, and your relationship with your wife can only get stronger.
actually the book porno for women is a list of things men can do for women to make thier day to day life happier. Things that men usally take for granted as womens work. it has a funny pitch but basically gives you their piont of view.
so please, for all of us, stfu if you dont know what your talking about.
Well, monogamy isn't really a prerequisite for marriage. Marriage to me serves two purposes; legal responsibilities and favourable taxation. It's nice to call someone your wife, but marriage doesn't make a relationship any better than it was before you walked down the aisle.fadedsteve wrote:
I am 28 and in NO HURRY to get married whatsoever, not because I am against it but rather because I havent met anyone worth marrying. Honestly, I dont think human beings are meant to be monogamous! There are so many reasons why that is the case its unreal. . . . Men are here to procreate, look at the animal world, is there any monogamy in the animal world. . . NO!!
We are animals just like everything else in this world, and we have an animal instinct to want to mate with attractive members of the opposite sex. I have married friends who say ALL THE TIME how "Hot that chick is", or "I would bang the shit out of her" not because they are immature, but rather they are men who are caged with only one female. Just like Kramer on Seinfeld says, "Marriage is a man made prison, your doin' time!".
Last edited by mikkel (2007-12-02 08:19:41)
no, not hardly as fun as you would hope.eusgen wrote:
I hear they actually have divorce parties now. Sounds fun.suomalainen_äijä wrote:
Divorce
its kinda like, "woohoo, i failed at life....might as well be as self-destructive as possible."
and then proceed to get hammered and wind up with a piece of strange.
Divorce is traumatic hard work & costs money. It also makes most people in the troughs of divorce tough to be around. Even if the marriage is suffering, trying to fix it is still usually the easier route.
Dude...konfusion wrote:
I'd just like to say that this thread helped me. While I am not married or anything, I'm in a relationship, and my girlfriend has been extremely bitchy/depressed of late (her life is falling apart because of loss of friends etc.). I'm going to give her some time alone, and see what happens...
I know none of the advice was directed at me, but thanks anyways, it helped
-konfusion
Don't.
If she's depressed because she's losing friends, do you really think that losing her boyfriend will make her feel better?
Jesus, don't leave her, be there for her. Comfort your g/f when she's down.
/hijack.
Well I didn't thought he really meant leaving her, just giving her some more space; didn't you -konfusion? Otherwise Funky_Finny is right and personally I don't believe in that "space giving" crap anyway. But I must admit,.. it could work,.. it does work sometimes.Funky_Finny wrote:
Dude...konfusion wrote:
I'd just like to say that this thread helped me. While I am not married or anything, I'm in a relationship, and my girlfriend has been extremely bitchy/depressed of late (her life is falling apart because of loss of friends etc.). I'm going to give her some time alone, and see what happens...
I know none of the advice was directed at me, but thanks anyways, it helped
-konfusion
Don't.
If she's depressed because she's losing friends, do you really think that losing her boyfriend will make her feel better?
Jesus, don't leave her, be there for her. Comfort your g/f when she's down.
/hijack.
Well... she wants the space... And it's really tearing me apart giving it to her. She says she needs some alone time to get over her depression, but hearing that just makes me want to be there for her more. Our relationship has been down in the dumps lately, because we turned every conversation into an argument.
She asked for space, I'm giving it - and I'm making sure she knows that I'm here for her whenever she needs me. It's all I can do... I really love this girl, so I'm not letting her go easily...
Thanks
-konfusion
She asked for space, I'm giving it - and I'm making sure she knows that I'm here for her whenever she needs me. It's all I can do... I really love this girl, so I'm not letting her go easily...
Thanks
-konfusion
Understandable; things like this suck, just keep an eye on her.konfusion wrote:
(...) but hearing that just makes me want to be there for her more.
Eh... now I'm confused (sorry for hijacking this)
She wants space, but she's constantly talking to me. I figured before that as long as I don't hear from her, I can forget she exists for a while, and try to get some work done, and live a normal life for a while...
But she keeps talking to me, and then telling me she shouldn't...
-konfusion
She wants space, but she's constantly talking to me. I figured before that as long as I don't hear from her, I can forget she exists for a while, and try to get some work done, and live a normal life for a while...
But she keeps talking to me, and then telling me she shouldn't...
-konfusion
Id drop her and move on. Im not the kind of person that is happy receiving mixed signals. let her play her fucking games with somebody else.konfusion wrote:
Eh... now I'm confused (sorry for hijacking this)
She wants space, but she's constantly talking to me. I figured before that as long as I don't hear from her, I can forget she exists for a while, and try to get some work done, and live a normal life for a while...
But she keeps talking to me, and then telling me she shouldn't...
-konfusion
Thing is, I sort of want to, but another part of me doesn't want to let go. I love her (as in, yes, love)... and... I dunnoGunSlinger OIF II wrote:
Id drop her and move on. Im not the kind of person that is happy receiving mixed signals. let her play her fucking games with somebody else.
-konfusion
sounds like games to me, brother.konfusion wrote:
Thing is, I sort of want to, but another part of me doesn't want to let go. I love her (as in, yes, love)... and... I dunnoGunSlinger OIF II wrote:
Id drop her and move on. Im not the kind of person that is happy receiving mixed signals. let her play her fucking games with somebody else.
-konfusion
i would listen to GS....drama doesnt work well for long.
And she obviously loves you; just remember that, endure the confusion and see where it leads. She said she needed some space, she never really said (and meant) not loving you, now did she? Don't dump her for the confusion caused by loving her (and being loved by her),.. that doesn't make sense.konfusion wrote:
Thing is, I sort of want to, but another part of me doesn't want to let go. I love her (as in, yes, love)... and... I dunnoGunSlinger OIF II wrote:
Id drop her and move on. Im not the kind of person that is happy receiving mixed signals. let her play her fucking games with somebody else.
-konfusion
Fuck it. I wrote her an email:
-konfusion
I'm going to live my life like nothing happened until she's done. Until then, why not go out drinking with friends, and have some fun...Ok: This was your decision. Now stop calling me and contacting me on msn if you want space. Every time you do that, I think you're back. If you're not, don't talk to me on the phone on msn until then.
I'd be happy to get SMS from you, to see if you still love me, but apart from that, I don't want to hear from you until you've made your decision.
You wanted this. I didn't. I gave it to you. Now use it, and stop torturing me!
-konfusion
how obvious is it in a few sentences in a forum?
"give me space" is bullshit. along the same lines as "I need time to think" yeah, ok. Women never say what they mean.
Join the singles club konfusion - I joined two weeks ago. The freedom is refreshing! Roll on Xmas and New Year!!!!!konfusion wrote:
Fuck it. I wrote her an email:I'm going to live my life like nothing happened until she's done. Until then, why not go out drinking with friends, and have some fun...Ok: This was your decision. Now stop calling me and contacting me on msn if you want space. Every time you do that, I think you're back. If you're not, don't talk to me on the phone on msn until then.
I'd be happy to get SMS from you, to see if you still love me, but apart from that, I don't want to hear from you until you've made your decision.
You wanted this. I didn't. I gave it to you. Now use it, and stop torturing me!
-konfusion
Meh... We've been going out for almost 4 months - but the thing is that she had no real break in between the 2-year relationship before that and me - ie like a month... So she's trying to "fix herself", whatever that means. She says she still loves me, and really acts like it when she talks to me, but she just won't use her space when I give it. It's a limbo that's pissing me off, so I told her to get it over with.GunSlinger OIF II wrote:
"give me space" is bullshit. along the same lines as "I need time to think" yeah, ok. Women never say what they mean.
If that means breaking up, so be it, but I hate limbo.
-konfusion
Going only on what I've heard so far and the fact that this is a girlfriend and not a wife, I'd lay it on the line for her. Express to her that you love her (since you've said you really do) and ask her to make a decision. She can't have it both ways. But that's just me, only you can decide what to do.
Edit: just read your post, you did good.
Edit: just read your post, you did good.
Last edited by Stingray24 (2007-12-03 08:35:22)
hate to say shit you might not wanna hear but its not gonna last bro. Youre a rebound. Rebounds never, ever, ever work. And im sorry bro, but Im not the kind of person that could say I love someone after only 4 months, you should be that person too.
how old are you konfusion?konfusion wrote:
Meh... We've been going out for almost 4 months - but the thing is that she had no real break in between the 2-year relationship before that and me - ie like a month... So she's trying to "fix herself", whatever that means. She says she still loves me, and really acts like it when she talks to me, but she just won't use her space when I give it. It's a limbo that's pissing me off, so I told her to get it over with.GunSlinger OIF II wrote:
"give me space" is bullshit. along the same lines as "I need time to think" yeah, ok. Women never say what they mean.
If that means breaking up, so be it, but I hate limbo.
-konfusion
and it sounds like a daddy complex to me.....she likes attention from males, be it negative or positive, she likes the attention.
which all women do, but the healthy ones dont play games about it.
cam, enjoy the single life man.
I'm 18... Moving out next year (yay)
-konfusion
edit: the fact that I'm resorting to getting help from a forum just goes to show you how desperate I am
-konfusion
edit: the fact that I'm resorting to getting help from a forum just goes to show you how desperate I am
Last edited by konfusion (2007-12-03 08:40:05)