I've got a slight problem with Witnesses.

2007-08-08 09:50:33

#1

Smithereener: Member; +138|6366|California

So, a few weeks back, two Jehova's Witnesses came to my door and did the routine preachy thing. They were pretty nice so I really couldn't be rude so I heard them out. Took their pamphlets and trashed them. The routine.

Next thing you know, the same two are back a few days later. Again, I didn't want to be rude, so I heard them out. They ask if they can come back, I drop hints, basically saying "no."

Well, they came back just now, and they want to come AGAIN. Again, I don't want to be rude, but they keep telling me, God (Jehova) wants us to live in a perfect world, blah blah, etc. Quite frankly, it's kind of pissing me off. But I don't want to tell them outright "Go away," they know I'm an atheist (told them first meeting). Yet, they want to come back again. I have no doubt after they discuss the Bible again, they're going to want to come back. Is there anyway, without being too rude, to get them to stop coming to my door?

On a slightly related note, it really doesn't help that these people built their church literally one block down a few years back.

2007-08-08 09:52:16

#2

Buckles: Cheeky Keen; +329|6607|Kent, UK

Just answer the door with a glass of beer and a joint, in a dressing gown, mostly open, and say "is this gunna take long? I got two hookers upstairs and they charge by the hour"

2007-08-08 09:53:37

#3

Widow_Warrior: Member; +7|6539|SOUTH ENGLAND

get some balls, tell them to FUCK OFF , they will not harass you ever again

2007-08-08 09:53:40

#4

FatherTed: xD; +3,936|6550|so randum

When they next come round, kill them. If more come, kill them too. Eventually they'll get the message.

Small hourglass island
Always raining and foggy
Use an umbrella

2007-08-08 09:54:17

#5

cablecopulate: Member; +449|6788|Massachusetts.

Try the ol' "please take me off your calling list" line!

2007-08-08 09:54:51

#6

kylef: Gone; +1,352|6544|N. Ireland

Buckles wrote:
Just answer the door with a glass of beer and a joint, in a dressing gown, mostly open, and say "is this gunna take long? I got two hookers upstairs and they charge by the hour"

This will probably scare them away.

2007-08-08 09:57:39

#7

TheEternalPessimist: Wibble; +412|6670|Mhz

Start talking back to them for hours on end about something they don't have any interest in, tell them about the up coming stock exchange events or the stuff you found under the bed, after 2 hours of that they'll never return, or you could just go buy one of those 'no Jehovah's witnesses' signs and stick it on your door.

2007-08-08 09:57:49

#8

Magpie: international welder....Douchebag Dude, <3 ur mom; +257|6577|Milkystania, yurop

Take a bible open in then scream REPENT SINERS REPENT.......and then post the vid on youtube

2007-08-08 09:58:26

#9

Bernadictus: Moderator; +1,055|6787

One hint:

Print posters of the Spaghetti Monster, hang them on your walls, and tell them of your new found religion!

2007-08-08 09:59:14

#10

biiio: Member; +0|6158

Got this on IRC, just had to register for it as it reminded me of this weeks John and John: http://www.johnandjohn.nl/write/jaj609.gif

2007-08-08 10:01:30

#11

Smithereener: Member; +138|6366|California

I guess I could try a few suggestions in this thread. lol.

Yeah, I guess I'll ask them not to come back. It's just that they've been, for the most part, nice to me (putting aside the God will save you sermons), so I didn't feel like being a dick to them or something. If they'd been idiots and rude, I'd probably have been a total dick, but that wasn't the case.

I hope it works. I think they're coming back in a week or something.

Last edited by Smithereener (2007-08-08 10:02:30)

2007-08-08 10:03:43

#12

Buckles: Cheeky Keen; +329|6607|Kent, UK

Smithereener wrote:
I guess I could try a few suggestions in this thread. lol.

Yeah, I guess I'll ask them not to come back. It's just that they've been, for the most part, nice to me (putting aside the God will save you sermons), so I didn't feel like being a dick to them or something. If they'd been idiots and rude, I'd probably have been a total dick, but that wasn't the case.

I hope it works. I think they're coming back in a week or something.

just offer them some beers and a sniff at some crack.

2007-08-08 10:05:48

#13

Magpie: international welder....Douchebag Dude, <3 ur mom; +257|6577|Milkystania, yurop

Try this!

2007-08-08 10:07:50

#14

shoopysean: Member; +11|6186

What are you most interested in?
If you're really interested in, say, footy... invite them in and tell them all about it. Bits they already know. Go on about your favourite team. MAKE SURE THEY DO NOT LEAVE OR BE RUDE TO YOU. Further points of detail may be decorating the room in paraphenalia of the desired hobby. The more bizarre and unusual the hobby the better. Nothing would bore someone more than a dead butterfly enthusiast. I'm guessing Witnessess' are the same.

Either that or splatter some tomato paste on your worksuit... a hockey mask is a bonus...

They will not return.

2007-08-08 10:10:10

#15

Noobeater: Northern numpty; +194|6497|Boulder, CO

answer the door naked = no more jehova's witnesses problems.
or start preaching to them about how much fun sinning is and how much they're missing out on the finer things in life like, lust, envy, sloth, greed and i forgot the other 3 best things to do in life.
record the ferocious barkings of a large, fierce dog and play it when they knock on the door then shout "arghh bruce stop humping my leg for gods sake stop humping my leg we've got visitors now get back into the back room, then spend a couple of minutes putting large bite marks onto your arms using smell free paint and answer the door. invite them into the backroom saying there's somebody here who wants to meet you, he loves visitors."

oh and answer the door yelling "YES, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BLOODY BUSY" whilst holding a large axe and looking psycho.

or anything along those lines.

Last edited by Noobeater (2007-08-08 10:11:45)

2007-08-08 10:11:51

#16

Hurricane: Banned; +1,153|6681|Washington, DC

Do the following

1) Say hi, get their pamphlets etc

2) When they're gone, call a friend over and have him lay on your porch or doorstep or driveway in a sprawled out fashion

3) Outline his body with chalk

4) Place the pamphlets near the body, preferably near one of his hands

5 optional) Buy some fake blood and put it on the area where his guts would be

6 optional) Write "THIS WE'LL DEFEND" so that whenever someone looks at the chalk outline while walking up to your house, they'll see that too and realize 'oh shit'

They'll never come again.

2007-08-08 10:13:26

#17

Miggle: FUCK UBISOFT; +1,411|6792|FUCK UBISOFT

tell them politely that you really arent very interested and it would be more useful if they talked to other people.

2007-08-08 10:14:47

#18

l41e: Member; +677|6699

Buy some fake grenades. Whenever someone comes to the door, don't answer, just drop them out of the upstairs window.

2007-08-08 10:17:21

#19

Noobeater: Northern numpty; +194|6497|Boulder, CO

tell them your a satanist and start preaching satanistic crap to them.
buy/make your own smoke bombs and trigger one when they knock on your door.
drop molotov cocktails on them (they're only jehova's witnesses nobody would miss them, in fact you may get a reward)

2007-08-08 10:20:21

#20

belvucker: Member; +1|6165

Buckles wrote:
Just answer the door with a glass of beer and a joint, in a dressing gown, mostly open, and say "is this gunna take long? I got two hookers upstairs and they charge by the hour"

LOL

2007-08-08 10:20:53

#21

Smithereener: Member; +138|6366|California

lol @ a few of these suggestions. Sadly, a few won't work because: I don't have a dog (mum hates animals although dad doesn't), I don't have a second floor, and I don't particularly feel like being a murderer; even if they are Jehova's Witnesses. Thanks for the replies though.

Hmm... but all these ideas got me thinking. Have any of you ever gone through this kind of situation? Seems to me that a few of you either have a vivid imagination or have actually had experience with getting rid of people at your doorstep.

2007-08-08 10:21:47

#22

cowami: OY, BITCHTITS!; +1,106|6340|Noo Yawk, Noo Yawk

My dad had a surefire way.

They came a-knockin' during Chinese New Year, and as such, my dad kept telling them no. Of course, they decided to come back repeatedly and began to set up a vigil outside the pagans' home. Well, my mom had finished up carving a pineapple, and my dad went downstairs to throw it out. Witnesses see the pineapple, figure it's headed towards them and RUN.

2007-08-08 10:23:52

#23

GunSlinger OIF II: Banned.; +1,860|6694

try converting them to islam next time they show. greet them at the door with a quran and prayer beads.

2007-08-08 10:25:37

#24

GunSlinger OIF II: Banned.; +1,860|6694

Smithereener wrote:
lol @ a few of these suggestions. Sadly, a few won't work because: I don't have a dog (mum hates animals although dad doesn't), I don't have a second floor, and I don't particularly feel like being a murderer; even if they are Jehova's Witnesses. Thanks for the replies though.

Hmm... but all these ideas got me thinking. Have any of you ever gone through this kind of situation? Seems to me that a few of you either have a vivid imagination or have actually had experience with getting rid of people at your doorstep.

i tell him to fuck off. I dont even give em a chance to speak. I see em at the door, open it and before they start talking I tell em "No thanks, not interested, have a super day" and I close the door before they even have a chance to reply.

2007-08-08 10:26:11

#25

daddyofdeath: A REAL Combat Engineer in the house; +187|6304|UK Bradford W,Yorks. Age 27

Bad move stating you were an atheist. its like saying to a gay/lesbian 'I am straight, no thanks', they will chase your ass till its 'cured'....lmfao they will anally 'cure you' with god. In short, God is gonna fuck you until you bleed, then maybe you will believe in him. Just make sure he uses a condom my boy!!

Last edited by daddyofdeath (2007-08-08 10:26:44)

BF2S Forums I've got a slight problem with Witnesses.

Buckles wrote:

Smithereener wrote:

Buckles wrote:

Smithereener wrote:

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