ah good old British advertising
ah good old British advertising
Irn Bru is the best drink in the world!
“I once tasted Irn-Bru. It was like having my eyes plucked right out of my head and I awoke several days later in the middle of a field, naked, with a traffic cone stuck up my arse.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Irn-Bru
[HISTORY]
Irn-Bru was discovered by Professor Campbell McDonald and Doctor Donald McCampbell in 1842 at Sunnyside Royal Hospital For The Insane in Scotland. They were actually attempting to make something to get the stains off of the floor. Patient Bruce McBanner somehow drank some of the fluid and turned into the huge orange monster known as the McHulk. This historical event may or may not have inspired Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
[SECRET RECIPE]
Only the direct descendants of its inventors know the true ingredients of Irn Bru. The only written record of the ingredients is a list written on the back of a cigarette packet and guarded by kilt-wearing zombie pirates in a vault 600 miles underneath Edinburgh Castle.
[FACTS]
Irn-Bru is the principal component of all of the hardest substances known to man such as diamonds, kevlar, Chewbacca and Rubik's Cubes.
ref: uncyclopedia
“I once tasted Irn-Bru. It was like having my eyes plucked right out of my head and I awoke several days later in the middle of a field, naked, with a traffic cone stuck up my arse.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Irn-Bru
[HISTORY]
Irn-Bru was discovered by Professor Campbell McDonald and Doctor Donald McCampbell in 1842 at Sunnyside Royal Hospital For The Insane in Scotland. They were actually attempting to make something to get the stains off of the floor. Patient Bruce McBanner somehow drank some of the fluid and turned into the huge orange monster known as the McHulk. This historical event may or may not have inspired Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
[SECRET RECIPE]
Only the direct descendants of its inventors know the true ingredients of Irn Bru. The only written record of the ingredients is a list written on the back of a cigarette packet and guarded by kilt-wearing zombie pirates in a vault 600 miles underneath Edinburgh Castle.
[FACTS]
- If the Titanic had been coated with Irn-Bru, the iceberg would have just bounced off her hull and she would not have sunk
- When Hulk Hogan "hulks up" he has in fact caught a drop of Irn-Bru in his mouth that is squirted out of a tiny dropper by a midget hiding underneath the ring.
- It is unknown how Irn-Bru effects lab rats. A study was started, but nobody ever found the scientists, the rats, or indeed, the lab.
- Irn-Bru is ten times more powerful than Viagra. It is solely responsible for all population increases in Scotland.
- Historians claim that the magical potion drunk by Asterix was probably Irn-Bru that was transported back in time by George Galloway in an attempt to overthrow George Bush.
- To save costs, the Russian space programme doesn't use heat-shields, but instead pours Irn-Bru all over their space capsules
- A can of Irn-Bru used properly can kill vampires, zombies, ninjas, pirates, monkeys,dinosaurs and Dr. Robotnik. see Dr. Eggman
- Jimmy Saville bathes nightly in a bath of Irn-Bru, this has allowed him to live to the grand old age of 213.
- Captain Scarlet is not indestructible because he was buggered by Mysterons. He injected himself with so much Irn-Bru that his blood now consists of 100% pure Irn-Bru.
- Chuck Norris drank Irn-Bru throughout his childhood whilst he was living in Scotland where he would often partake in a game of caber tossing, strangely enough his cabers were never found..., due to these 2 events Chuck became the strongest person in the Universe.
- To turn into Spiderman, Peter Parker drinks Irn-Bru
- A tooth left overnight in a glass of Irn-Bru will be removed from the space-time continuum and will simply never have existed
- And the most famous one of all, drinking Irn-Bru before going out means there is no hangover
Irn-Bru is the principal component of all of the hardest substances known to man such as diamonds, kevlar, Chewbacca and Rubik's Cubes.
ref: uncyclopedia
Last edited by theDude5B (2007-06-07 01:05:11)
lmaowtfbbq
lol, wtf!!?
nice find dude , irn bru does rock tbh
Rumours Disproved and Trivia
* Irn Bru cannot make you fly
* Irn Bru is not the main ingredient in rocket fuel
* America will import Irn Bru, but only for its city sized Chemical Weapon Reaserch Facility in Nevada....and even then only in small quantities, 250ml is the most they can import in one year. (A wee bottle to the kilt inclined)
* It is a good hangover cure. In the same way that death is a cure for disease.
* Chuck Norris drinks Irn Bru by the keg, only becuase it tastes like death.
* Irn Bru is required by law to state that it "does not contain actual iron"
* Irn Bru is required by law to state that it "will fuck you up something aweful"
* In a recent interview Sean Connery blamed his mode of spech on "Drinking irn bru till my piss was orange and my vision went cloudy". It was then revealed that he drank half of a glass bottle
* The Scottish economy would collapse if Irn Bru stopped accepting used bottles in exchange for twenty pence
Irn Bru was first marketed in the late 1900s under the name of "Ginger Juice" but was changed to the more familiar name after many redheaded people complained that it tasted nothing like the juice from a ginger person. It has been reported that they do have the same mind altering effects. At round about this time in history A.G. Barr tried to patent the flavour of Irn Bru but unfortunately it had already been patented under its chemical name of formaldehyde. On a side note, formaldehyde is slightly less toxic than Irn Bru. One can digest 2 litres of formaldehyde (a big boattle to the Scots) before succoming to its effects, whereas the lethal amount of 'Bru is considered to be a 750 ml bottle (or a glaise boattle to the Scots).
* Irn Bru cannot make you fly
* Irn Bru is not the main ingredient in rocket fuel
* America will import Irn Bru, but only for its city sized Chemical Weapon Reaserch Facility in Nevada....and even then only in small quantities, 250ml is the most they can import in one year. (A wee bottle to the kilt inclined)
* It is a good hangover cure. In the same way that death is a cure for disease.
* Chuck Norris drinks Irn Bru by the keg, only becuase it tastes like death.
* Irn Bru is required by law to state that it "does not contain actual iron"
* Irn Bru is required by law to state that it "will fuck you up something aweful"
* In a recent interview Sean Connery blamed his mode of spech on "Drinking irn bru till my piss was orange and my vision went cloudy". It was then revealed that he drank half of a glass bottle
* The Scottish economy would collapse if Irn Bru stopped accepting used bottles in exchange for twenty pence
Irn Bru was first marketed in the late 1900s under the name of "Ginger Juice" but was changed to the more familiar name after many redheaded people complained that it tasted nothing like the juice from a ginger person. It has been reported that they do have the same mind altering effects. At round about this time in history A.G. Barr tried to patent the flavour of Irn Bru but unfortunately it had already been patented under its chemical name of formaldehyde. On a side note, formaldehyde is slightly less toxic than Irn Bru. One can digest 2 litres of formaldehyde (a big boattle to the Scots) before succoming to its effects, whereas the lethal amount of 'Bru is considered to be a 750 ml bottle (or a glaise boattle to the Scots).
Last edited by jimmanycricket (2007-06-07 07:50:08)
jimmanycricket wrote:
Irn Bru was first marketed in the late 1900s under the name of "Ginger Juice" but was changed to the more familiar name after many redheaded people complained that it tasted nothing like the juice from a ginger person.
ok so the actual advert i posted is pretty bad but it definatly beats most other adverts like:
i mean wtf?