1) First and foremost, start out by posting. A lot. It's also helpful to never use the search function. If you want to go for the gold, be sure to read a post, then instead of writing a reply, create a post directly above it asking a slightly reworded version of the question already asked. Also, make sure that all your posts are in the wrong section - if you have a complaint, make sure you post it in the tech section, etc - you get the idea.
2) Never read what everyone has to say. Reiterating what's already been stated many many times is what your true aim is.
3) Flame people for asking honest questions. Flame people for asking stupid questions. Generally, flame anyone for any reason. Also, don't make your flames intelligent - the best flames are completely unbased such as "omfg you homo". To REALLY excel at flaming, every flame you have MUST be a personal attack on someone, even though they're probably thousands of miles from you and you never have and never will meet them - i.e. "you're fat/ugly/pimply/socially challenged".
4) Create posts that are unintelligent that you know will rile people up, such as posts like "if you're over 19 and playing video games you have no life" (I'm sure we all remember this post).
5) Accuse players of hacking - constantly. If you die in an FPS, it's most certainly not your fault - the other player is using a 3rd party product to gain the edge on your elite lance corporal skills.
6) In conjunction with the prior, accuse people who you've played with who get good scores as stat padders. Since your best round score is 56, it's completely unfeasible that anyone could beat your awesome Best Round Score. It helps if you take a screenshot of the scoreboard and not of anything that could prove cheating happened, and then post it on the forums as "stone cold proof" that someones a padder.
7) Did I mention personally accuse people of hacking?
8) Be shur to completly avoyd propur gramr and punktuashun uv any sort?
9) Type in 1337 - only the coolest kids do that.
10) Make posts about the top 10 players in BF2. Refer to them as cheats, hackers, padders, because even though they have maybe 1000 hours logged in the game, at LEAST 90% of that has to be cheating by your standards. These people have no shred of skill about them, and if only you could play with them you could show the world their 1337 hax skillz.
11) Have a gigantic signature that takes up an immense amount of space. These can include (but are not restricted to), jack off material of a girl that you would give your left nut to be with, more than one sig that shows your stats (because the first one didn't get the message across to all of us), or some quote that shows how totally macho you are.
12) Defend your ePenis on a regular basis. Since the internet is pretty much like you're backyard, anyone who makes a personal attack on you must be brought to their knees swiftly by using your huge amount of insults that you've amassed just by walking through the halls at your school. See number 3 for elaboration.
13) Post screenshots of any mundane award you have, and never post them in the stickied awards thread. It is important that you make an entire new post just to show off your shiny new basic ground defense badge.
That's about it. If you do these things, you probably should refrain from posting on the forums, since you ruin the experience for us all. I will update them if you give me some more ideas fellas
2) Never read what everyone has to say. Reiterating what's already been stated many many times is what your true aim is.
3) Flame people for asking honest questions. Flame people for asking stupid questions. Generally, flame anyone for any reason. Also, don't make your flames intelligent - the best flames are completely unbased such as "omfg you homo". To REALLY excel at flaming, every flame you have MUST be a personal attack on someone, even though they're probably thousands of miles from you and you never have and never will meet them - i.e. "you're fat/ugly/pimply/socially challenged".
4) Create posts that are unintelligent that you know will rile people up, such as posts like "if you're over 19 and playing video games you have no life" (I'm sure we all remember this post).
5) Accuse players of hacking - constantly. If you die in an FPS, it's most certainly not your fault - the other player is using a 3rd party product to gain the edge on your elite lance corporal skills.
6) In conjunction with the prior, accuse people who you've played with who get good scores as stat padders. Since your best round score is 56, it's completely unfeasible that anyone could beat your awesome Best Round Score. It helps if you take a screenshot of the scoreboard and not of anything that could prove cheating happened, and then post it on the forums as "stone cold proof" that someones a padder.
7) Did I mention personally accuse people of hacking?
8) Be shur to completly avoyd propur gramr and punktuashun uv any sort?
9) Type in 1337 - only the coolest kids do that.
10) Make posts about the top 10 players in BF2. Refer to them as cheats, hackers, padders, because even though they have maybe 1000 hours logged in the game, at LEAST 90% of that has to be cheating by your standards. These people have no shred of skill about them, and if only you could play with them you could show the world their 1337 hax skillz.
11) Have a gigantic signature that takes up an immense amount of space. These can include (but are not restricted to), jack off material of a girl that you would give your left nut to be with, more than one sig that shows your stats (because the first one didn't get the message across to all of us), or some quote that shows how totally macho you are.
12) Defend your ePenis on a regular basis. Since the internet is pretty much like you're backyard, anyone who makes a personal attack on you must be brought to their knees swiftly by using your huge amount of insults that you've amassed just by walking through the halls at your school. See number 3 for elaboration.
13) Post screenshots of any mundane award you have, and never post them in the stickied awards thread. It is important that you make an entire new post just to show off your shiny new basic ground defense badge.
That's about it. If you do these things, you probably should refrain from posting on the forums, since you ruin the experience for us all. I will update them if you give me some more ideas fellas
Last edited by TehSeraphim (2006-01-30 07:35:22)
