BF2S Forums THE ASHES (warning, this is Cricket)

Ratzinger wrote:

1927(h) wrote:

Yeah Yeah you might well mock us and poke fun but after 3 months we are no longer winless, we have beaten the mighty New Zealand who joking aside are pretty good at one day cricket.

Ole ole, ole ole

Its a shame Strayer didnt put there reserves into this trianglular competition aswell because you'd end up with an all Aussie final and then you could take the mick outta each other after the final.

Could the grapes be any sourer?

^^

That was meant to be a compliment.

Not with me mate, no sour grapes here, you need to read up and see how I have taken all of this in good nature I went as far as almost predicting a whitewash.  The internet is brilliant at expressing yourself but opens you up to be misunderstood so before you offer an apology for getting me wrong, I forgive you.  If you could read the karma I have given to all the Aussies you'd see my point.

Are the poms gone yet?

TerrorisT² wrote:

Shouldn't this be de-stickied since the Ashes is over, because Australia OWNED England?

Australia [PWNT] Barmy Army

Australia [PWNT] The English cricket team...NOT the Barmy Army.

After going to the one dayer Aus v Eng on the 19th (which I have just recovered concioussness from)Australian fans will NEVER beat the English fans for thier tenacity and inginuity.
They stand by thier team time after time and give it all they have got.

At one stage during the match I was at 4, BA guys that were stuck amongst myself and 300 other mates (we hired 7 busses to get us all to the game) absolutely gave us HELL.

When the police arrived to evict the BA supporter we closed ranks and started chanting at the police to "LEAVE THE POMS ALONE, LEAVE THE POMS ALONE".

At this point the fun stoppers (coppers) raised thier hands in surrender and left. 5.30am that morning I arrived home to my wife and proudly introduced her to my new (and very drunk) English friends

All in all a great summer so far (for us) and bring on the World Cup (for which i think we should just continue to use this thread)

And for any of you guys that would prefer personal cricket insults (including you Poms) please feel free to txt me on +610402140960 (Please leave your BF2s handle with your text so I know who Im insulting )

Last edited by 4_Phucsache (2007-01-30 02:40:36)

yeah well you cant ask for miracles.

Have you seen any of the beach cricket series...absolutely fantastic to see names like D.K.Lillee, Gough, Gooch, Viv Richards, Curtly Ambrose etc.

I have heard that the kiwis and South Africans have put their hands up wanting to play the beach cricket series next year so it looks like the format could continue.

Seeing the commentators looking for Curtly Ambrose between innings only to find him behind the stands with a six pack of XXXX (QLD beer and Beach Cricket sponsor) was an absolute hoot.

For those that dont know the beach cricket format is as follows:
8 Players per side
8 Overs per innings
Each batsmen has a couple of "lives" (not sure on how many)
Each wicket = -5 runs
Small field and pitch (10 yards long instead of 18)

Basically its indoor cricket on the beach however the far boundry is the water so as the tide goes out the boundry gets longer, water = 6 runs however you can get caught out in the water.
If the ball goes into the crowd the crowd keeps it and the ball is a tennis ball with no fur on one side making it swing like a devil.
Teams may only consist of retired players who have played at an international level.

makes for a very amusing Saturday watching the telly
For all you Aussies the finals are this weekend coming being played at Sydney and televised both Sat and Sun on Channel 10.

panda-pat wrote:

Who cares we kicked ass in the test series and are doing the same in the one dayers

Heck, even NZ are kicking our arses in the one day series.  Oh man, we are so poor.

aardfrith wrote:

panda-pat wrote:

Who cares we kicked ass in the test series and are doing the same in the one dayers

Heck, even NZ are kicking our arses in the one day series.  Oh man, we are so poor.

Yes, you've got a tatse of reality

A policeman pulled over a driver who'd been weaving in and out of
the lanes.
He approached the car window and said, 'Sir, I need you to blow
into  this breathalyser tube.'
The man reached into his pocket and produced a doctor's note.
On it was written: 'This man suffers from chronic asthma. Do not
make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath.'
The officer said, 'OK then; I need you to come and give a blood
sample.'
The man produced another letter. This one read: 'This man is a
haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way.'
So the police officer said, 'Right, I need a urine sample.'
The man produced a third letter from his pocket. It read, “

This man plays for the English Cricket Team. Please don't take the piss out
of him.'


GOOD LUCK TO THE ENGLAND TEAM THIS EVENING!
I hope they can avoid defeat in at least one game against Australian before they go home

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped. The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.

"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.
"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".
"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.
"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

Last edited by panda-pat (2007-02-01 23:41:30)

panda-pat wrote:

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been raped. The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.

"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.
"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".
"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.
"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

LOLOLOLOOLLLLL

Well they did actually play quite well for once. They were enthusiastic in the field, which helped their bowlers. I don't think Symonds retiring hurt had much to do with them winning. Tait will be lucky if he gets another chance.

4_Phucsache wrote:

yeah well you cant ask for miracles.

Have you seen any of the beach cricket series...absolutely fantastic to see names like D.K.Lillee, Gough, Gooch, Viv Richards, Curtly Ambrose etc.

I have heard that the kiwis and South Africans have put their hands up wanting to play the beach cricket series next year so it looks like the format could continue.

Seeing the commentators looking for Curtly Ambrose between innings only to find him behind the stands with a six pack of XXXX (QLD beer and Beach Cricket sponsor) was an absolute hoot.

For those that dont know the beach cricket format is as follows:
8 Players per side
8 Overs per innings
Each batsmen has a couple of "lives" (not sure on how many)
Each wicket = -5 runs
Small field and pitch (10 yards long instead of 18)

Basically its indoor cricket on the beach however the far boundry is the water so as the tide goes out the boundry gets longer, water = 6 runs however you can get caught out in the water.
If the ball goes into the crowd the crowd keeps it and the ball is a tennis ball with no fur on one side making it swing like a devil.
Teams may only consist of retired players who have played at an international level.

makes for a very amusing Saturday watching the telly
For all you Aussies the finals are this weekend coming being played at Sydney and televised both Sat and Sun on Channel 10.

Its such a good game to watch, 6's are flying of in every direction, great watch.

Where abouts in briabne you from?

Mt gravatt here

[img]http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20070211/i/r4115411828.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.mentalacrobatics.com/think/blogimages/ashes.jpg[/img]

We are quite happy to let you win the little trophy as we were always going to win the big trophy.  Its a shame it was 'strayer in the final as we could of played 3 matches and fully prepared for the upcoming world cup, you know a different team could of tested us more, pity NZ wern't there instead, they would of given us a game.

Well played Paul Collingwood, him and the others should now embark on a victorious open top bus tour around London and then go to number 10 Downing Street and recieve knighthoods.

Englands World Cup squad announced as follows:

England squad: Vaughan (capt), Joyce, Bell, Pietersen, Strauss, Collingwood, 1927, Flintoff, Bopara, Nixon, Dalrymple, Plunkett, Anderson, Mahmood, Lewis, Panesar.