Twisted Bollock

2007-01-30 03:16:43

#1

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

No folks, it's not a crazy new Punk group.

I was going to put this in the gay workmate thread but I didn't want the powers that be to accuse me of de-railing a thread.

Anyway, last night. Sat in front of the Playstation, gaming away, wearing what can only be described as 'tight fitting trollies'. I sat up to adjust my position and grab my can when I heard a pop. And not a good pop. The agony. You other males will agree with me that sometimes when you bang your nadgers on something it hits the sweet spot that makes the wires between your bollocks and your stomach throb. A lot. The tight fitting undercrackers got that spot last night.

Without uttering a word to the missus I fell to the floor, holding my crotch, and proceeded to roll around like a Foreign footballer. I have never experienced pain like it, I saw the white light and honestly thought I was going to die.

Question, would it be acceptable to call in sick with a popped/twisted bollock?

2007-01-30 03:18:50

#2

Entertayner: Member; +826|6783

Yes. But make it out to be worse than it is

2007-01-30 03:21:07

#3

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6758|Doncaster, UK

More than acceptable. My son's off school for the next two weeks because of something similar. Just to cheer you up, if it is really twisted and not just squeezed you'll have to go into hospital for an operation to untwist it. That means an incisiion across the bottom of the scrotal sac and probably stitches to hold the twisted parts in place, then stitched back up.

The upshot is, you'll be wearing a Todd-like thong for the foreseeable future to provide support, and it'll probably swell up like a balloon so you'll be wearing a tong and walking around like John Wayne.

2007-01-30 03:23:18

#4

{uscm}Jyden: You likey leaky?; +433|6890|In You Endo- Stoke

I can see it being allowed.But i think it would have to be a male boss for you to get away with it.

Imagine telling your female boss... erm "I twisted my bollock last night".To hear her laugh on the other end of the phone and not understand the pure pain that it would cause.

DoctorFruitloop wrote:
That means an incisiion across the bottom of the scrotal sac and probably stitches to hold the twisted parts in place, then stitched back up.

Oh jesus christ, the pain!!!!!!!!

Last edited by {uscm}Jyden (2007-01-30 03:28:16)

2007-01-30 03:24:28

#5

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

DoctorFruitloop wrote:
More than acceptable. My son's off school for the next two weeks because of something similar. Just to cheer you up, if it is really twisted and not just squeezed you'll have to go into hospital for an operation to untwist it. That means an incisiion across the bottom of the scrotal sac and probably stitches to hold the twisted parts in place, then stitched back up.

The upshot is, you'll be wearing a Todd-like thong for the foreseeable future to provide support, and it'll probably swell up like a balloon so you'll be wearing a tong and walking around like John Wayne.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/presenters/media/john_humphreys.jpg

John Humphreys wrote:
Good Evening and Welcome to Mastermind.

The first contestant is DrFruitloop, he's 61 and from Doncaster. His specialist subject is nadgers, bollocks, plums and the injuries that befall them.

2007-01-30 03:25:43

#6

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6758|Doncaster, UK

PASS!

2007-01-30 03:28:08

#7

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

Ive zipped my cock into and through my jeans before. I didnt realise it was hanging out and just did the zip up. It looked like chewing gum stuck to a zip. I then had to undo the zip myself and bite my lip and went straight back down, the same way I'd done the zip up.

I'd take the visit to the hosp myself Mullett. It might be a bit embarrasing having to have a nurse touch ya nads but you'll soon get over it. I have a regular problem which requires me to go to the hosp regulary and while the 1st time is humiliation I now enjoy the nurses giving me a check out. All I have to remember is to wash the wool off the day before.

2007-01-30 03:29:15

#8

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

The Magic Mullet wrote:
DoctorFruitloop wrote:
More than acceptable. My son's off school for the next two weeks because of something similar. Just to cheer you up, if it is really twisted and not just squeezed you'll have to go into hospital for an operation to untwist it. That means an incisiion across the bottom of the scrotal sac and probably stitches to hold the twisted parts in place, then stitched back up.

The upshot is, you'll be wearing a Todd-like thong for the foreseeable future to provide support, and it'll probably swell up like a balloon so you'll be wearing a tong and walking around like John Wayne.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/presenters/ … phreys.jpg

John Humphreys wrote:
Good Evening and Welcome to Mastermind.

The first contestant is DrFruitloop, he's 61 and from Doncaster. His specialist subject is nadgers, bollocks, plums and the injuries that befall them.

is that a Bollocologist?

2007-01-30 03:30:08

#9

P00R_M3: Member; +19|6781|Yorkshire, England

I had the same thing happen to me 17 years ago and I had the Operation. Not pleasant, but a great scar to show the ladies. If the tubes around your nuts feel firmer than usual and you are still in some pain, then go to the docs and have them check it out.

2007-01-30 03:30:52

#10

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

1927 wrote:
Ive zipped my cock into and through my jeans before. I didnt realise it was hanging out and just did the zip up. It looked like chewing gum stuck to a zip. I then had to undo the zip myself and bite my lip and went straight back down, the same way I'd done the zip up.

I'd take the visit to the hosp myself Mullett. It might be a bit embarrasing having to have a nurse touch ya nads but you'll soon get over it. I have a regular problem which requires me to go to the hosp regulary and while the 1st time is humiliation I now enjoy the nurses giving me a check out. All I have to remember is to wash the wool off the day before.

It'd be even more embarassing if I got an unexpected stiffy and shot all over her tabbard.

2007-01-30 03:32:13

#11

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

The Magic Mullet wrote:
1927 wrote:
Ive zipped my cock into and through my jeans before. I didnt realise it was hanging out and just did the zip up. It looked like chewing gum stuck to a zip. I then had to undo the zip myself and bite my lip and went straight back down, the same way I'd done the zip up.

I'd take the visit to the hosp myself Mullett. It might be a bit embarrasing having to have a nurse touch ya nads but you'll soon get over it. I have a regular problem which requires me to go to the hosp regulary and while the 1st time is humiliation I now enjoy the nurses giving me a check out. All I have to remember is to wash the wool off the day before.
It'd be even more embarassing if I got an unexpected stiffy and shot all over her tabbard.

Knock one out before you leave!!

2007-01-30 03:34:47

#12

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

https://www.cinemademerde.com/gingers-nurse.gif

Ive just booked you an appoinment!

2007-01-30 03:35:57

#13

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

1927 wrote:
http://www.cinemademerde.com/gingers-nurse.gif

Ive just booked you an appoinment!

And I've just shot all over her tabbard.

2007-01-30 03:37:02

#14

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

I wish you wouldn't use complicated words which I now have to go and google or use a dicshunry.

2007-01-30 03:38:25

#15

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

<<< googles "tabbard".

Them nurses don't dress like that down yur boyo!

2007-01-30 03:39:23

#16

mavrick 3399: EA GAMES PATCH EVERYTHING; +102|6753|Doncaster UK

P00R_M3 wrote:
Not pleasant, but a great scar to show the ladies.

hey Doc if thats true then your son is going to grow up and be Glenn Quagmire!!!

your going to be soooo proud!!

Last edited by mavrick 3399 (2007-01-30 03:39:45)

2007-01-30 03:40:54

#17

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6758|Doncaster, UK

Giggety-giggety,gi-get-ty!

2007-01-30 03:43:47

#18

1927: The oldest chav in the world; +2,423|6885|Cardiff, Capital of Wales

I have to go now and miss out on the fun, gutted. laters

2007-01-30 03:48:48

#19

{uscm}Jyden: You likey leaky?; +433|6890|In You Endo- Stoke

mavrick 3399 wrote:
P00R_M3 wrote:
Not pleasant, but a great scar to show the ladies.
hey Doc if thats true then your son is going to grow up and be Glenn Quagmire!!!

your going to be soooo proud!!

Hey then at least your son will bringing home some hot birds!

Laters 27.

2007-01-30 03:50:20

#20

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6758|Doncaster, UK

I would feel strangely grubby to comment on the hottity of the girls my son brings home

2007-01-30 03:55:02

#21

{uscm}Jyden: You likey leaky?; +433|6890|In You Endo- Stoke

DoctorFruitloop wrote:
I would feel strangely grubby to comment on the hottity of the girls my son brings home

I know that i will comment on the men or women my daughter brings home.
And not in the gay way either

2007-01-30 03:57:56

#22

P00R_M3: Member; +19|6781|Yorkshire, England

DoctorFruitloop wrote:
I would feel strangely grubby to comment on the hottity of the girls my son brings home

Dude, all the girls in Donny were pigs when I was a lad. Have things improved?

2007-01-30 03:58:13

#23

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

{uscm}Jyden wrote:
DoctorFruitloop wrote:
I would feel strangely grubby to comment on the hottity of the girls my son brings home
I know that i will comment on the men or women my daughter brings home.
And not in the gay way either

What if she brought home a bisexual nympho?

2007-01-30 03:59:46

#24

The Magic Mullet: Member; +240|6636

1927 wrote:
I have to go now and miss out on the fun, gutted. laters

Don't worry, I don't plan on being especially entertaining this afternoon, i've just eaten and now feel quite lethargic.

2007-01-30 04:00:04

#25

DoctorFruitloop: Level 13 Wrongdoer; +515|6758|Doncaster, UK

P00R_M3 wrote:
DoctorFruitloop wrote:
I would feel strangely grubby to comment on the hottity of the girls my son brings home
Dude, all the girls in Donny were pigs when I was a lad. Have things improved?

There's some pretty spectacular looking bints out around Donny on a weekend, but being 36 I'm into the realms of "dirty old man" for looking.

BF2S Forums Twisted Bollock

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

John Humphreys wrote:

The Magic Mullet wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

John Humphreys wrote:

1927 wrote:

The Magic Mullet wrote:

1927 wrote:

1927 wrote:

P00R_M3 wrote:

mavrick 3399 wrote:

P00R_M3 wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

{uscm}Jyden wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

1927 wrote:

P00R_M3 wrote:

DoctorFruitloop wrote:

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