BF2S Forums Reposts of a classic... laughs guaranteed...

This is it boys and girls, get ready to laugh. And those of you with amazing graphics - get ready to feel sick.

For those of you that know me (from IRC or whatever) you probably know that my comp isnt the best out there
my FPS ranges from 20 - 30 on a good day.
On top of my crappy everyday graphics and FPS I have to live with some of the things you are about to see.
My problems have been going on for quite some time now so the screenshots arnt all resent.

At this point you might be wondering why I put this thread under the 'Praise' section. I put it here because I want to praise all the little kinks, dents and bumbs in my BF2. And for you guys to enjoy - "My curse is my gift to you"

Texture bugs
This first one is where the textures of the ground change to some wierd shit:



TEH Dunno catagory




This was supposed to be my TV guided view - you might be able to recognize it as being the map of Zatar Wetlands...


Here is the texture of a pinetree :S (also look at the minimap)


Here is some more of that sweet bug from the minimap of the previous pic:



The "I start to cry catagory"
Wierd colors and shapes appear. and when the black color appears my frame rate drops to ~ 0,2 - 1 .
This might be the first time anyone has recorded a machine in pain






A wierd day on the battlefield
On one server my textures were all screwed up. Smoke and explosions were squares and USMC were in white/gray/black camo uniforms




The little black squares you are seeing is a smoke grenade. Or so I was told...


This is the new shit / text bug
....

Which unlock should I choose? Hmm.. the ¤#!&%&#?


Well after the thread had been running for a few days people started to try and solve my problem and a lot of people said that I should update my drivers... and I did...

I changed my drivers and all went well. All was smooth.
Well, untill this happned:

This is a "tower" of wierd changing colors that shows up random places on the map

- and if you fly throug it - this happens: YOU ENTER MAGIC HAPPY LAND! where are the pixies? ...




That was it - for now!... Some real nasty bug'up. And know this, my computers reign of terror will continue untill the day it dies. Maybe I'll haunt me from beyond the grave - only time will tell.

A little edit: these are quotes from our very own IRC channel: wrote:

ThomasMorgan: man, Z-trooper if you got a good computer, youd probably be really good lol
JL: lol! yeah
Z-trooper: I know
Z-trooper: I've been saying that for a long time, and people were just like "yea, sure you do...". but now they can see what I mean and believe me

Guide to altering your localization files... wrote:

gun.piranha wrote:

can you tell me how you get the points to show up like that in game z?

Sure thing.

First of all, I wrote this earlier in the thread:

wrath2210 wrote:

thats sick....

how do u have it say u owned _____(+)2

Because I'm cool thats why ^^

nah, here ya go: http://www.totalbf2.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43939

Thats a link for a guide to messing with your localization files. Regarding the "+2" in big fonts.. I simply "put two and two together" (used my intelligens ) and added stuff that I wanted.

Here is a few examples of what my localization file says in some lines:

For kills: HUD_CHAT_YOUGOTAKILLSCORE     §C1001You have 0wned §0#PLAYERNAME#§1§C1001§3+2

For teampoints (in this case resupply points): HUD_HUD_REPLENISH_GOT_AMMO_POINTYou hit some random noob with your ammo bag! §3§C1000+1§C1000

Together the two examples produces this:

Misc. info. I'm a pilot so I set all plane kills to have a different color, so I know I'm up against, and who to hope for dies (when I'm waiting for a plane) if you are a chopper whore or somekind of other whore I suggest you do the same - its very helpfull.

Example:

KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_mig29     §C1001MiG-29§C1001
KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_j10       §C1001J-10§C1001
KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_f15       §C1001F-15§C1001
KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_su34      §C1001Su-34§C1001
KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_su30      §C1001Su-30§C1001
KILLMESSAGE_VEHICLE_f35       §C1001F-35B§C1001

produces:



(notes: the 'code text' may look confusing at first, but give up right away. There are just a few things to keep in the back of you mind - and then the rest is just fun.
I have here five little rules and guidelines that I've learned the hard way :
#1 MAKE A BACK UP OF THE ORIGINAL!!!
#2 when you use "§C" 'codes' remember to start and end the selected area with the code and numbers.
#3 dont delete the ""
#4 "§C3" makes the text three times bigger than normal.
#5 "§C1001" makes the text orange. There is a few other colors in the game, but I havent been able to find the 'codes' for them yet. (the other colors are: yellow, white, blue, green and I recently discovered the red color too)

Hope any of this could be of any help - If you need some details cleared up or elaborated just ask and I'll try to help the best I can.

Old Christmas contest wrote:

First of all..

.. This is a product of me not sleeping and me being bored



... And I'm sorry - I know there is no boobs.. but I'll make a Rudolph/Vodnik with boobs later

Merry christmas and happy new year!

- Join us at #BF2s

"Over and out" - Z

Last edited by Z-trooper (2007-05-07 00:44:12)