1. You have to feign concern about Islamic fundamentalists, in full knowledge of the miniscule chance of them ever affecting your life, because it gives Team America: World Police carte blanche to parade around the globe flexing their muscles and feeding your testosterone addled macho ' we rock' infantile superiority complex.
2. You have to believe that poor people are poor because they deserve to be poor and that compassion for your fellow man, who may have fell on hard times, is just something briefly referred to towards the back of the bible (a book which you piously quote when it suits).
3. You have to believe everything your president and politicians tell you and when the truth comes out flip flop like John Kerry wearing flip flops in a 'flip flop' competition.
4. The earth was created in 6 days and 6 nights. The world is 4000 years old. We all descend from two human beings whose children MUST, by default, have fucked each other.
5. You have to believe that it's great to spend billions on dollars on exciting new means of killing fellow humans and at the same time be appalled at the suggestion of putting money towards stem cell research to help cure disease.
6. You have to believe in the sanctity of life and the horror of abortion whilst maintaining a non-chalant attitude towards 'collateral damage' when dropping bombs on arab villages.
7. You have to hold the irrational belief that an intangible 'higher being' has given people of a particular ethnic and religious makeup a DIVINE right to a certain piece of land in the middle east, the horrible means by which they took the land and maintain control of it being of secondary concern.
8. You must be two-faced. Preach democracy on the one hand whilst denouncing the democratic choice of those who don't bend to your will.
9. You must believe that 'you're either with us or against us', a phrase first coined by the mass murdering dictator of Spain, General Francisco Franco. Polarised opinion is what you prefer - because only by polarising opinion can you hope to carry out extreme plans.
10. You have to make up words and filter them out through your media to hide the immorality of your actions. Kidnapping? No! Rendition! Torture? No! Suspect screening! Civilian deaths? No! Negative patient output!
11. You have to feel comfortable with the fact that potentially innocent people have been and are being incarcerated without trial and subjected to torture both mental and physical.
12. You have to let loose all constraints on big money monopolising everything - because balance sheets and stock market indices are more important than human beings.
13. You believe, or seem to believe, that nations aspire to be like your nation, which is strangely at odds with the reception your soldiers often receive when they land to 'liberate' the 'oppressed peoples'.
14. You have to believe in hypocrisy: because supporting a cruel dictator that is friendly to you can sometimes be beneficial to you.
15. You have to believe FOX News editorials.
16. You have to believe the media in general is a left wing conspiracy.
17. You have to believe burning fossil fuels has absolutely NO impact whatsoever on anything. Buying SUVs is good for the economy and BIG business. W00t!
18. You have to believe the writer of this post is a communist jihadist who is probably wearing a suicide bomb belt right now.
2. You have to believe that poor people are poor because they deserve to be poor and that compassion for your fellow man, who may have fell on hard times, is just something briefly referred to towards the back of the bible (a book which you piously quote when it suits).
3. You have to believe everything your president and politicians tell you and when the truth comes out flip flop like John Kerry wearing flip flops in a 'flip flop' competition.
4. The earth was created in 6 days and 6 nights. The world is 4000 years old. We all descend from two human beings whose children MUST, by default, have fucked each other.
5. You have to believe that it's great to spend billions on dollars on exciting new means of killing fellow humans and at the same time be appalled at the suggestion of putting money towards stem cell research to help cure disease.
6. You have to believe in the sanctity of life and the horror of abortion whilst maintaining a non-chalant attitude towards 'collateral damage' when dropping bombs on arab villages.
7. You have to hold the irrational belief that an intangible 'higher being' has given people of a particular ethnic and religious makeup a DIVINE right to a certain piece of land in the middle east, the horrible means by which they took the land and maintain control of it being of secondary concern.
8. You must be two-faced. Preach democracy on the one hand whilst denouncing the democratic choice of those who don't bend to your will.
9. You must believe that 'you're either with us or against us', a phrase first coined by the mass murdering dictator of Spain, General Francisco Franco. Polarised opinion is what you prefer - because only by polarising opinion can you hope to carry out extreme plans.
10. You have to make up words and filter them out through your media to hide the immorality of your actions. Kidnapping? No! Rendition! Torture? No! Suspect screening! Civilian deaths? No! Negative patient output!
11. You have to feel comfortable with the fact that potentially innocent people have been and are being incarcerated without trial and subjected to torture both mental and physical.
12. You have to let loose all constraints on big money monopolising everything - because balance sheets and stock market indices are more important than human beings.
13. You believe, or seem to believe, that nations aspire to be like your nation, which is strangely at odds with the reception your soldiers often receive when they land to 'liberate' the 'oppressed peoples'.
14. You have to believe in hypocrisy: because supporting a cruel dictator that is friendly to you can sometimes be beneficial to you.
15. You have to believe FOX News editorials.
16. You have to believe the media in general is a left wing conspiracy.
17. You have to believe burning fossil fuels has absolutely NO impact whatsoever on anything. Buying SUVs is good for the economy and BIG business. W00t!
18. You have to believe the writer of this post is a communist jihadist who is probably wearing a suicide bomb belt right now.