Fancy_Pollux
Connoisseur of Fine Wine
+1,306|6645
Cambridge, Mass. (CNN) -- Three Harvard College students committed suicide this morning in a bizarre ritual that has shocked the prestigious university. While Cambridge Police are releasing few details, the students appear to have committed suicide in a traditional Japanese way, known as seppuku, according to one eyewitness interviewed later. The students, whose names are being withheld pending the notification of their families, wore traditional Japanese robes and stabbed themselves in the stomach with long knives while three other men decapitated them with Japanese swords.


A detective in the Cambridge police department who asked not to be named so that he could speak more freely said that a suicide note had been found, and that police were still investigating its meaning. "[The suicide note] states that the suicides were to protest Harvard's continued association with quote, lesser schools." According to that source, the note went on to call upon President George W. Bush to dissolve the Ivy league and allow Harvard to ascend to Heaven.


Dr. Mark Preston, an associate professor at Harvard's divinity school, said that suicides might be linked to highly secretive Order of the Silver Twilight, a militant Harvard supremacy group. Little is known about the organization's ideology, Preston said, except from a 1968 essay written an author only known as "Alexander". The essay claims that Harvard College is a divine institution created by God and that the College itself, along with its students and faculty, will ascend to Heaven during the final battle between the forces of good and evil. Over the last 38 years the group was widely believed to have grown more radical, Preston said, and the suicides "would show that the Order means business, that they are more committed than ever to the idea that the Ivy league is a Satanic restraint on Harvard's ascendance that must be destroyed."


As of the time of this writing, police were still searching for the accomplices, who could face up to 5 years in prison under Massachusetts law for assisting a suicide.
King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|6596|Seattle

Religion FTL
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
SysTray
"Generous mods" < Thats right Systray !
+180|6820|Delaware
Fancy_Pollux posting a real story? Ha.
mafia996630
© 2009 Jeff Minard
+319|6763|d
LOL. friggin geeks.

1st geek: Say the number pie.
2nd geek: O shit, i only remember up to 100.
(2nd geek, commits suicide")

PS. Then again people killing themselves is just sad.

Last edited by mafia996630 (2006-10-24 11:24:24)

Jenkinsbball
Banned
+149|6547|USA bitches!
Darwinism at it's finest.
CannonFodder11b
Purple Heart Recipient
+73|6689|Fort Lewis WA

Fancy_Pollux wrote:

A detective in the Cambridge police department who asked not to be named so that he could speak more freely said that a suicide note had been found, and that police were still investigating its meaning. "[The suicide note] states that the suicides were to protest Harvard's continued association with quote, lesser schools." According to that source, the note went on to call upon President George W. Bush to dissolve the Ivy league and allow Harvard to ascend to Heaven.
Wow.  What a bunch of Idiots.  not much else to say but thank god those idiots are no longer living.
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+794|6684|United States of America
So...who should we nominate to take over their scholarships and SAT scores?
alpinestar
Member
+304|6595|New York City baby.
salvia divinorum ?
Miller
IT'S MILLER TIME!
+271|6755|United States of America
Let's just blow up harvard and never worry about them again!
samfink
Member
+31|6554
what a bunch of idiots,
Anfidurl
Use the bumper, that's what its for!
+103|6592|Lexington, Kentucky
Heh. Looks like Fancy_Pollux is getting better at writing fake news.
MECtallica
Member
+73|6503|jalalabad
gawd created harvard LoL! ZOMG SUICIDE I HATE IVY LEAGUE
Yaocelotl
:D
+221|6649|Keyboard

MECtallica wrote:

gawd created harvard LoL! ZOMG SUICIDE I HATE IVY LEAGUE
^ funneh
samfink
Member
+31|6554
yawn. well, ivy lague schools do seem to cahrge a lotmore than other colledges, so maybe dissolvingg the ivy league wouldn't be a bad idea. thouhg maybe writing a letter would have been juts as effective. I wonder when this story will appear on www.darwinawards.com

Last edited by samfink (2006-10-24 13:31:16)

Retalliation[1337]
Robin Hood ---> "u got arrownd"
+51|6474|Belgium
omg school racisme when did they invent this
this is the sign that the world will end !!!!!oh noes.
mafia996630
© 2009 Jeff Minard
+319|6763|d

Anfidurl wrote:

Heh. Looks like Fancy_Pollux is getting better at writing fake news.
Play along, play along. Don't tell fancy_pollux .
HaywoodJablowme
Baltimore Blowfish
+46|6579

samfink wrote:

yawn. well, ivy lague schools do seem to cahrge a lotmore than other colledges, so maybe dissolvingg the ivy league wouldn't be a bad idea. thouhg maybe writing a letter would have been juts as effective. I wonder when this story will appear on www.darwinawards.com
I nominate you to write that letter.  But for god's sake use the spell-check...
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6648

mafia996630 wrote:

Anfidurl wrote:

Heh. Looks like Fancy_Pollux is getting better at writing fake news.
Play along, play along. Don't tell fancy_pollux .
Well, at least he got the forum right, if he wants to make it seem more convincing.
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|6620|London, England
"[The suicide note] states that the suicides were to protest Harvard's continued association with quote, lesser schools."
Good riddance, why should they discriminate.
Harmor
Error_Name_Not_Found
+605|6548|San Diego, CA, USA
Talk to me when they do it for real and I'll listen.
Doctor Strangelove
Real Battlefield Veterinarian.
+1,758|6467
That's fuuny. Fancy has quite the imagenation.
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6771|PNW

That had me thinking "what the hell" for the first couple of sentences. GJ.

However, wouldn't there be an investigation into the identity of the men that assisted in the ritual suicide? Oops, forgot to write something on that.

Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2006-10-24 16:55:15)

Flaming_Maniac
prince of insufficient light
+2,490|6706|67.222.138.85
d3athwi5h4
insert clever title here
+59|6512|Kickapoo
Hey fancy at what point did you pull out your 9mm.  I know this story is bogus, unless you pulled the 9millie
Dersmikner
Member
+147|6497|Texas
If you ever lived in Kirkland House in the Summer you'd want to kill yourself too. I wonder if they have AC yet...

Board footer

Privacy Policy - © 2024 Jeff Minard