_-_911_-_180891
Member
+540|6473|Shanghai, ethnicity=German
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas, what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree, and eat candy out of your socks?
Tetrino
International OMGWTFBBQ
+200|6701|Uhh... erm...
Cute.

28. What's the actual size of an extra-large mini bonsai?
_-_911_-_180891
Member
+540|6473|Shanghai, ethnicity=German
LoL.. I don't know... hahahahah
{USI}_Zombie
Member
+11|6744
29 why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Varegg
Support fanatic :-)
+2,206|6781|Nårvei

Norwegian :

Kan du ha saft i en Edderkopp ?
Bruker matematikere pistol ?
Flyr det måker på Svale sommerdager ?
Blir skjorta di møkkete hvis du står på krava ?
Wait behind the line ..............................................................
mcminty
Moderating your content for the Australian Govt.
+879|6692|Sydney, Australia
Hehe, nice list.

I thought oxymorons were more like "military intelligence" and "microsoft works"...





Mcminty.
-Solv3r-
Heia den som vinner!
+115|6528|Oslo, Norway

Varegg wrote:

Norwegian :

Blir skjorta di møkkete hvis du står på krava ?
Aahh! Tok den;)
{USI}_Zombie
Member
+11|6744
windows help file
high efficiency heat pump
Bubbalo
The Lizzard
+541|6532

{USI}_Zombie wrote:

high efficiency heat pump
How is that an oxymoron?
Crestfallen
Member
+27|6420|England, Leicester
Alone in a crowd

+ Anarchy Rules

Nice list _-_911_-_180891, they are quite good.

Last edited by Crestfallen (2006-09-03 05:25:56)

sgt.sonner
the electric eel has got me by the brain banana
+146|6504|Denmizzark!!

Varegg wrote:

Norwegian :

Kan du ha saft i en Edderkopp ?
No, but works fine with beer..
Bertster7
Confused Pothead
+1,101|6552|SE London

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Webster didn't write the first dictionary. Samuel Johnson wrote the first 'proper' English dictionary in 1755, 51 years before Webster. Where did he find the words - he just made up silly oversimplified spellings for them.

Words are mispelled in the Webster dictionary.

Centre - not - Center
Defence - not - Defense
Colour - not - Color

It's all Webster's fault!!! Now people just accept it, call it American English. They should just accept that the first American dictionary was written by a man who couldn't spell.
Cbnnttb
Member
+2|6439|USA
30. why do we take the day off from work on "labor" day
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|6745|Noizyland

Those arn't oxymorons, just observations. An oxymoron is a statement which contradicts itself, (yes, some of what you wrote can be considered to  be oxymorons.)
Oxymorons include:
Jumbo Shrimp
Passive/Aggressive
Military Intelligence
Microsoft Works
(Mcminty, we must read the same books.)

Here are some more 'observations.'

- How can a house go up in flames as it is burning down?
- How come feet smell and noses run?
- How come it's called the 'afterlife' when it occurs after death?

I'll add a few more later when I've thought of them...
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
notorious
Nay vee, bay bee.
+1,396|6717|The United Center

Tyferra wrote:

Those arn't oxymorons, just observations. An oxymoron is a statement which contradicts itself, (yes, some of what you wrote can be considered to  be oxymorons.)
Oxymorons include:
Jumbo Shrimp
Passive/Aggressive
Military Intelligence
Microsoft Works
(Mcminty, we must read the same books.)

Here are some more 'observations.'

- How can a house go up in flames as it is burning down?
- How come feet smell and noses run?
- How come it's called the 'afterlife' when it occurs after death?

I'll add a few more later when I've thought of them...
Win.  It's nice to see that not everyone on the forums is dumb.
Paco_the_Insane
Phorum Phantom
+244|6615|Ohio
some of them are kind of easily answered by sarcasm. Just like when you tell the losing team good game.
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,973|6602|949

I thought this thread was about Oxycontins.  Oh well...
oberst_enzian
Member
+234|6713|melb.au
regardless of what they actually are, they are nevertheless still amusing i think.
AAFCptKabbom
Member
+127|6629|WPB, FL. USA
I'm so confused but strangely amused by this post
TuataraDude
Member
+115|6493|Aotearoa

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

1.

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Actually, the third hand is called the "seconds" hand. People just have shortened it to second hand. In the trade, whenever we refer to the second hand, we all know it means the minute hand, but we usually refer to them as hour, minute and seconds hands. Some mind-boggling trivia for you.
Ty
Mass Media Casualty
+2,398|6745|Noizyland

Don't be a smart-arse.

I presume you're a Kiwi, so I won't be too hard on you.
[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon
notorious
Nay vee, bay bee.
+1,396|6717|The United Center

TuataraDude wrote:

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

1.

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Actually, the third hand is called the "seconds" hand. People just have shortened it to second hand. In the trade, whenever we refer to the second hand, we all know it means the minute hand, but we usually refer to them as hour, minute and seconds hands. Some mind-boggling trivia for you.
Wouldnt it make sense to call the other ones by their plural names then too?
BolvisOculus
Spagett!
+167|6590|Manitowoc, WI

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
One is sarcastic while the other isn't

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
It is after it becomes dark

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
That's the "joke" of the phrase.

_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love is blind is not meant to be taken literally.


_-_911_-_180891 wrote:

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Because when something is wet left out, mildew grows on it.
Andoura
Got loooollllll ?
+853|6609|Montreal, Qc, Canada
31. how come when we buy hard cookies they become soft and when we buy soft cookies they become hard?
Sgt_Sieg
"Bow Chicka Bow Wow." The correct way.
+89|6745
32.  Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together?

Last edited by Sgt_Sieg (2006-09-03 19:53:35)

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