CameronPoe
Member
+2,925|6525
I don't know whether these have been posted before. They're a collection of German jokes demonstrating their stereotypical sense of humour deficiency:

----------------------------------------

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.

----------------------------------------

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

----------------------------------------

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

Being raped.

----------------------------------------

A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

----------------------------------------

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

----------------------------------------

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

----------------------------------------

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

----------------------------------------

Why do women fake orgasms?

Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

----------------------------------------

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'

----------------------------------------

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceutical products in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

Last edited by CameronPoe (2006-08-21 07:42:20)

DoctorFruitloop
Level 13 Wrongdoer
+515|6516|Doncaster, UK

CameronPoe wrote:

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'

The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.'
ROFL
DonFck
Hibernator
+3,227|6601|Finland

Ja! Wit ze power invested in me wit my German heritage, I give zees jokes das stamp of approval!
I need around tree fiddy.
DoctorFruitloop
Level 13 Wrongdoer
+515|6516|Doncaster, UK
I think you've got to imagine them in your head like, being said in a stereotypical german accent like what DonFck just did.
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6619

I've seen 'German' jokes like that before, and whilst I know that people in Germany do actually have a sense of humour, those jokes are still hilarious! +1 for it.
Mj.Blindfisch
Bulletdrop-Buddha
+338|6667|Germany
Hmm,actually Germans have a lot of humour.
We have a lot of famous comedians on TV and they make way better jokes than the ones you posted.

But here's my joke for your list:
"How do you make a woman have an orgasmn?" - "What the f*ck do I care?"
Wasder
Resident Emo Hater
+139|6645|Moscow, Russia
A man walks into a pub.

He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Haha, these jokes are strange and not really funny but honest.
deadawakeing
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm
+145|6452
wtf are these actuaL jokes? those are horrible jokes.
Pug
UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate
+652|6512|Texas - Bigger than France
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the slaughterhouse.

OR

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To invade France.
cpt.fass1
The Cap'n Can Make it Hap'n
+329|6666|NJ
Haha these are good.
Simonym
Member
+1|6468|D'owhere
@CameronPoe

Where did u get your information on german humor? R u german or did u just meet someone who is not good in telling jokes?

@ all
By the way, do u know what your girlfriend says when she has an orgasm?
-Thx Simonym
cpt.fass1
The Cap'n Can Make it Hap'n
+329|6666|NJ
And Simonym if you're German you just proved to us that this is real ... JK
e-i-u-benjamin
WoeKoeMakaLaLaLoekieWaWa
+40|6729|The Netherlands
Benji hates all germans!
|60|Cobalt
Terror in the Skies
+30|6722|Leipzig/Germany
i'm german, but i've never heard such crapy jokes here - @CameronPoe: if you are german, you know the wrong people - only ones with no sense of humor
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6619

Cameron, looks like you got it wrong. It's not Germans that have no sense of humour, it's this forum.
cpt.fass1
The Cap'n Can Make it Hap'n
+329|6666|NJ
Why did the baby crap it's diaper?

Cause it doesn't know how to use the toilet yet..
DonFck
Hibernator
+3,227|6601|Finland

cpt.fass1 wrote:

Why did the baby crap it's diaper?

Cause it doesn't know how to use the toilet yet..
I'm SO close to posting "fail" now..

But instead I have a German joke.

"Aber Herr Ober, der Kaffee ist ja kalt!"
"Gut, dass Sie mir das sagen, mein Herr! Eiskaffee kostet nämlich einen Euro mehr ..."

Now THATS a German joke!
I need around tree fiddy.
cpt.fass1
The Cap'n Can Make it Hap'n
+329|6666|NJ
Sorry then how about this one?


Why did the prostitute die?

Cause she had AIDS
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6619

DonFck wrote:

cpt.fass1 wrote:

Why did the baby crap it's diaper?

Cause it doesn't know how to use the toilet yet..
I'm SO close to posting "fail" now..

But instead I have a German joke.

"Aber Herr Ober, der Kaffee ist ja kalt!"
"Gut, dass Sie mir das sagen, mein Herr! Eiskaffee kostet nämlich einen Euro mehr ..."

Now THATS a German joke!
I think you said something along the lines of someones name/title, the coffee is cold. The other guy sais, good, iced coffee costs one euro more.

I think thats about right anyway, and I'm translating that based on Dutch.
WilhelmSissener
Banned
+557|6703|Oslo, Norway
these jokes suck

-1-1-1-1-1-1--1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1--1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1
cpt.fass1
The Cap'n Can Make it Hap'n
+329|6666|NJ

DonFck wrote:

cpt.fass1 wrote:

Why did the baby crap it's diaper?

Cause it doesn't know how to use the toilet yet..
I'm SO close to posting "fail" now..

But instead I have a German joke.

"Aber Herr Ober, der Kaffee ist ja kalt!"
"Gut, dass Sie mir das sagen, mein Herr! Eiskaffee kostet nämlich einen Euro mehr ..."

Now THATS a German joke!
But Mr. Ober, the coffee is cold!" "property that you say to me, my gentleman! Ice coffee costs a euro more translated from one of those sites.
DonFck
Hibernator
+3,227|6601|Finland

cpt.fass1 wrote:

DonFck wrote:

cpt.fass1 wrote:

Why did the baby crap it's diaper?

Cause it doesn't know how to use the toilet yet..
I'm SO close to posting "fail" now..

But instead I have a German joke.

"Aber Herr Ober, der Kaffee ist ja kalt!"
"Gut, dass Sie mir das sagen, mein Herr! Eiskaffee kostet nämlich einen Euro mehr ..."

Now THATS a German joke!
But Mr. Ober, the coffee is cold!" "property that you say to me, my gentleman! Ice coffee costs a euro more translated from one of those sites.
Herr Ober = Butler/Waiter.

- I think the joke crystallizes the sense for economics with Germans.
- It's in German

Hence, it's a good german joke.
I need around tree fiddy.
commissargizz
Member
+123|6433| Heaven
ehehehehehehehe i used to play on German servers playing DCF and they sooooooooo funny, maybe it's the older German's that can't laugh......hehehehehhee France v  A chicken no contest, the chicken will win hands down, the French will crap themselves run away and then the blame the Americans for making them lose.....
GunSlinger OIF II
Banned.
+1,860|6614
friggin hilarious
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+794|6654|United States of America
[bland] ha........ha................ha.................huh[/bland] This could have been a -1 to get me to a good number but no I'm stuck on crappy 2.

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