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Ajax_the_Great1
Dropped on request
+206|5338
I saw this on a Guico(sp) commercial like ten minutes ago.

"If ugliness was messured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China"

That's such an awesomely crappy joke that I love it. I love crappy jokes gone bad. I think Conan is the cause of that.

Anyone have anything better?
Jenspm
penis
+1,716|5424|St. Andrews / Oslo

your mamma is so fat that when she wears a yellow dress, all the kids come running yelling "School Bus! School Bus!!!"
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/26774/flickricon.png https://twitter.com/phoenix/favicon.ico
Ajax_the_Great1
Dropped on request
+206|5338
Sorry, should've done a search as I see know there's been some joke threads.

Anyways, to be more specific, I want good bad jokes. Not good, good jokes. Yeah that makes sense...
Pug
UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate
+652|5234|Texas - Bigger than France
Two penguins pass each other on an iceberg.

One says "Nice Tuxedo".

The other says "Go Fuck Yourself."
CameronPoe
Member
+2,925|5247
Here's a good BAD joke:

Little Amy was running around the house of an evening when she burst into her parents room. Her mother had just got out of the shower and was drying herself. She was getting ready to go out to Bingo that night.

Amy: 'Mummy, Mummy, what are those two things there!?'
Mother: 'Oh dear, they're my breasts, dear!'
Amy: 'Mummy, Mummy, when do I get breasts? When do I get breasts?'
Mother: 'Oh kitten, you won't get them until you've grown up into a big girl, dear.'
Amy: 'And Mummy, what's that furry stuff down there?'
Feeling awkward, Mother: 'That's my pubic hair, dear!'
Amy: 'When do I get hair down there Mummy?'
Mother: 'Oh kitten, you won't get them until you've grown up into a big girl, dear.'

Amy, her inquisitiveness sated, runs off down the hall and bursts into the bathroom. SHe is confronted with something she doesn't quite understand - her father is over the toilet, masturbating.

Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, what is that big purple snake thing there Daddy?'
Shocked Daddy: 'Er, that's my dick, dear!'
Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, when do I get one of those, Daddy?'
Daddy: 'As soon as your mum goes to bingo!!!!!!'

Depraved.

Last edited by CameronPoe (2006-06-14 13:42:27)

Kung Jew
That one mod
+330|5437|Houston, TX
As a constant poster in the "other" joke threads, I'm confused.  You want great jokes that are in bad taste?  Or bad jokes that suck so bad you can't help but laugh in sheer exasperation at the 2-3 minutes of your life that are now irretrievable?

I've got one for each but before I write something that will show how dark my humor can go, I'll wait to see what kind of content you are looking for.

KJ
FAF-Teeje
Member
+47|5235
wow.  these jokes really suck.
Kaosdad
Whisky Tango Foxtrot?
+201|5371|Broadlands, VA

Kung Jew wrote:

As a constant poster in the "other" joke threads, I'm confused.  You want great jokes that are in bad taste?  Or bad jokes that suck so bad you can't help but laugh in sheer exasperation at the 2-3 minutes of your life that are now irretrievable?

I've got one for each but before I write something that will show how dark my humor can go, I'll wait to see what kind of content you are looking for.

KJ
Yes.
137twozerosniper
Member
+57|5257|UK

CameronPoe wrote:

Here's a good BAD joke:

Little Amy was running around the house of an evening when she burst into her parents room. Her mother had just got out of the shower and was drying herself. She was getting ready to go out to Bingo that night.

Amy: 'Mummy, Mummy, what are those two things there!?'
Mother: 'Oh dear, they're my breasts, dear!'
Amy: 'Mummy, Mummy, when do I get breasts? When do I get breasts?'
Mother: 'Oh kitten, you won't get them until you've grown up into a big girl, dear.'
Amy: 'And Mummy, what's that furry stuff down there?'
Feeling awkward, Mother: 'That's my pubic hair, dear!'
Amy: 'When do I get hair down there Mummy?'
Mother: 'Oh kitten, you won't get them until you've grown up into a big girl, dear.'

Amy, her inquisitiveness sated, runs off down the hall and bursts into the bathroom. SHe is confronted with something she doesn't quite understand - her father is over the toilet, masturbating.

Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, what is that big purple snake thing there Daddy?'
Shocked Daddy: 'Er, that's my dick, dear!'
Amy: 'Daddy, Daddy, when do I get one of those, Daddy?'
Daddy: 'As soon as your mum goes to bingo!!!!!!'

Depraved.
thats fucking sick
=|A mere Shadow|=
The Anarchist
+121|5318|Britain and Damn proud of it!

Kung Jew wrote:

As a constant poster in the "other" joke threads, I'm confused.  You want great jokes that are in bad taste?  Or bad jokes that suck so bad you can't help but laugh in sheer exasperation at the 2-3 minutes of your life that are now irretrievable?
Bingo!
WilhelmSissener
Banned
+557|5425|Oslo, Norway
what did the tomato say to the other tomato

nothing noob, tomates can't talk!
CameronPoe
Member
+2,925|5247
What's green and spongy?
A green sponge.
-Gunsmoke-
Member
+165|5327|South Jersey
why did the chicken cross the park?

to get to the other slide. 

no wait, that's a bad, bad joke isn't it?
CameronPoe
Member
+2,925|5247
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing - they were both stuck-up cunts!
Ajax_the_Great1
Dropped on request
+206|5338

Kung Jew wrote:

As a constant poster in the "other" joke threads, I'm confused.  You want great jokes that are in bad taste?  Or bad jokes that suck so bad you can't help but laugh in sheer exasperation at the 2-3 minutes of your life that are now irretrievable?

I've got one for each but before I write something that will show how dark my humor can go, I'll wait to see what kind of content you are looking for.

KJ
I guess that wasn't very clear of me. I was thinking along the line of the latter but both are accepted.
tvmissleman
The Cereal Killer
+201|5350| United States of America

Jenspm wrote:

your mamma is so fat that when she wears a yellow dress, all the kids come running yelling "School Bus! School Bus!!!"
your mommas so dumb when she sees a schoolbus she says " STOP THAT TWINKEY!!!!!"
Kung Jew
That one mod
+330|5437|Houston, TX
Seeing as I work in an Optical (I'm so punny),

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Saaay, something between us smells.

KJ

If you are looking for the truly depraved,jaw dropping, I-can't-believe-he-said-that type jokes,  I apologize.  I will not post them here.  They range from clergy molestation to beasiality and back again.  None of them are fit to be printed here in the public eye.  From time to time they will eek out in joke monday, but I won't post them all in one run.  The backlash of negative karma would eat all of my positive karma up.
Ajax_the_Great1
Dropped on request
+206|5338
I hate your momma jokes...

Your mommas so fat, that she has type 2 diabetes and doesn't excercise so well...
King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|5289|Seattle

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bath?
One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

Bidumpah!
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
SysTray
"Generous mods" < Thats right Systray !
+180|5513|Delaware

CameronPoe wrote:

What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing - they were both stuck-up cunts!
That was actually pretty good.
Marconius
One-eyed Wonder Mod
+368|5386|San Francisco
What did the Great Captain James say to his men before they got on the ship?

"Let's get on the ship, men!"  *snare riff*

Two tomatoes are sitting in the oven.  One goes "Hoo boy!  It sure is hot in here..."
The other goes "AAAAH!!!  A talking tomato!!"

*snare riff*
Pug
UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate
+652|5234|Texas - Bigger than France
A man brings his son to the circus.  They sit on the far left side near the aisle.  The lights come on, the elephants walk out, the monkeys dance, and the clowns come out of their funny car.  The clowns begin to pander to the crowd, doing tricks.  One clown with big red feet and a green nose sees the man and his son and decides to include the man in his act.

Clown to Man: Are you an elephant?

Man: No

Clown: Are you a lion?

Man: No

Clown: Then you must be a jackass.

The crowd howls.  The man is embarassed.  His son is obviously upset.  So they leave.

He spends all night dwelling on this issue - a simple clown has proved he is less than a man.  So in the morning, he tells his wife he is quitting his job and going back to college.  He doubles up on classes by taking night classes.  He studies the classics.  In the process he decides his major.  Due to hard work he graduates in three years instead of four.

He is truly gifted in his major, and decides to go on to get his doctorate.  He studies hard.  He even writes his thesis on a personal topic "How to Deliver a Snappy Comeback to a Clown".  So he graduates with honors with a PhD in Snappy Comebacks.

He then begins a second career, speaking at conventions around the world, and writes a book on Snappy Comebacks which sells well enough to be translated into 16 different languages.  He is successful enough that he actually directs the new Broadway Play - "Comebacks - The Play".

He returns home after a dress rehearsal and talks to his family about his success.  His son, now graduated from college tells him that there's a circus in town.  Believe it or not its the same one which started this whole affair.  So the man asks his son if he wants to go check it out, and they get tickets.

So they go back to the circus.  They sit on the far left side near the aisle.  The lights come on, the elephants walk out, the monkeys dance, and the clowns come out of their funny car.  The clowns begin to pander to the crowd, doing tricks.  Then one clown with big red feet and a green nose sees the man and his son - he recognizes him instantly and decides to include the man in his act.

Clown to Man: Are you an elephant?

Man: No

Clown: Are you a lion?

Man: No

Clown: Then you must be a jackass.

The crowd laughs.  The man nudges his son - "Watch this."

"Hey fuck you Clown"
tvmissleman
The Cereal Killer
+201|5350| United States of America
lolz^^
Marconius
One-eyed Wonder Mod
+368|5386|San Francisco
What's red and looks like a bucket?

A red bucket.

What's blue and looks like a bucket?

A red bucket in disguise!
King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|5289|Seattle

What's the last thing that went through the bug's mind before it hit the windshield?





It's ass.
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it

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