Post a joke... OK, strap in!
A guy walks into a pet store. He's looking for a very unusual pet. the shop owner points the a parrot (it's ALWAYS a parrot, isn't it?) The Parrot is only five quid.
"Does the parrot talk?"
"Yes."
"Then why only five quid?"
"He keeps getting returned."
"Why?"
"Dunno."
"OK, I'll take him." (OK so d00d was REALLY lonely!)
D00d takes parrot home and uncovers teh cage. The parrot immediatly starts heaping abuse on him: "You spawn raping, weapon nerfing, team killing, N00B!!! You make me want to PUKE!!!"
D00d is speachless - the abuse goes on for hours. D00d finally covers the cage and goes to bed thinking Parrot will be better int eh AM. No way. The abuse is worse. References are made to his ancestry and bad things said about his mum.
This goes on for days. Finally d00d has had it. He opens the cage door and snatches the bird "HELP! I'm being repressed!" screams the bird. D00d throws him into the freezer. He can hear the bird cussing and swearing like a drunk sailor (British sailor - Americans can't swear worth a damned). Suddenly the bird goed quiet. After a bit, there's a knock on the freezer door. D00d opens it and there is the Parrot. He says;" I'm sorry, sir, I've been a real c**nt. You've opened your home to me and fed me and I've done nothing but heap abuse on you. If it's OK, I'd love to come out and share some tea and hear about you."
"Well," sez d00d, "OK..."
"I just have one question, sir."
"Yes?"
"The chicken in the freezer - what did he do piss you off?"