BF2S Forums Life, you've let me down

smoke 1

yeah, if you smoke too much, cut back or quit for a while. goes both ways

I pumped the brakes on the sticky about 3 years ago.  Now it's purely a recreational thing, rather than a lifestyle.

I know little kids are working in mines and getting sold into slavery right now, and somehow this thought doesn't make me feel any better.  I used to laugh and laugh every time I saw a six year old, no armed diamond miner.  Now I can barely manage a chuckle.

GravyDan wrote:

I'm fucking depressed, and I have no idea what to do about it.  I've never been one to think that all hope is lost, or really even seriously contemplate suicide, but these thoughts constantly flutter about my mind in recent days.  I find my moods shifting wildly, from complete contentment to utter contempt in a matter of seconds.  I find myself lacking when it comes to being a good friend or mate, and dismissing calls on my cell regularly.  I'm boxing the world out even though this is exactly what I don't want to happen.

I eat pretty well, I exercise daily, I'm successful at work (to a fault), I have a loving GF that wants to get married, and I'm certainly not struggling for cash.  I just can't seem to shake this shit.  I don't want to bother my friends with this, because honestly I'm embarrassed and ashamed of this condition.

I don't know what to do, so I'll put it out there to you guys.  WTF do you do when you feel like this?

Do something new...

With your hands...

Besides you know what.

But seriously, find and develop a productive hobby, switch jobs, move somewhere else...anything but suicide. Being ashamed about depression will only make you more depressed. Nothing wrong with seeing a counselor, so if this lasts any longer, see one and be honest with them.

e:

v   And what Poseidon said. It's cliche, but it's extremely effective.

Travel to somewhere nice if you can, take a break.

Doesn't have to be somewhere fancy or far away, just a place where you know you can relax and ease your mind.

Last edited by aerodynamic (2011-11-09 15:42:11)

The times that I'm most depressed are the times that I'm on autopilot.  At work, doing chores, that kinda shit.  My mind just won't shut the fuck up.  Mostly I'm fine when I'm doing what I want to do, except for that nagging voice in the back of mind telling me that everything and everyone sucks.

If it wasn't so close to winter, I'd say go on a camping trip. Nothing quite like a few days/week in the wilderness to clear your head. If that's not your thing, a vacation in general sounds like it would be a good idea.

Cheer up <3

Doctors are for pussies who can't preform their own surgeries.  This is like a splinter of hate rammed deep into my brain, and I'm reaching for the tweezers.  I do like the idea of vacations, hobbies, and camping (love all that shit), but ultimately I know it's not a permanent fix.  I guess I just wanted to know what you guys would (or have) done in similar situations.

GravyDan wrote:

Congrats Poseidon, I'm impressed.  Seriously great ideas on the new hobby part, as I've noticed that I'm one of those people who can start something and forget to eat and piss for 10 hours or so.  I picked my guitar back up, as it's probably the one material item that I've ever owned that makes me seriously happy.

As for the therapy part, I know that this is the right move, but I also know that I'll never do it.  I'm not gonna commit suicide, period.  I just like to picture myself...not here.

I don't even fly anymore. I never even got my license. But it got my mind off of what was bugging me (a combination of being unhappy with myself and my ex just breaking up with me at the time) and got me involved in something serious. My first year of college was last year and believe me, I still had my moments. Especially with a crazy roommate and going to a school where, if you weren't rich, you couldn't really have fun like you can on a traditional campus. But I was still happy with myself and who I was, and that lasts to this day. Now, I transferred schools, I'm going into Air Force ROTC, training my ass off to get in shape for it, and have a life plan set up for myself and where I want to go. It keeps my mind focused and makes me think positively for the future, just as a new hobby would for you. I'm not talking about just getting back into an old hobby either. I'm talking about something radically different from anything you've ever done. And make sure it's something where there's plenty of social contact. You live in Cali, so I would really look into rock climbing/hiking. I'm sure there's plenty of groups for it, or you could even just research it a bit and go with your GF. I know a lot of people who have done it with groups and they say it's the best experiences they've ever had.

You're going to have your speedbumps in life, whether they come about for no reason or whether an event triggers them. My plan was to transfer to the University of Miami as most people here who know me know all too well, but I couldn't end up finding a co-signer for a loan. Was I upset? For a week or so, yeah. Then I looked at what I had, took advantage of it as much as I can, and now I'm going to Albany where I'll be making the most of it next semester. So, in addition to finding a new hobby, you need to learn how to deal with the down times in your life for the future. Learn the correct way to think about things that fits you best in order to not feel this way for a prolonged period of time.

Nothing like a teenager giving a grown man advice on how to live. Bravo Poseidon for platitude of the month.

I've done quite a bit of hiking Poseidon, and it really does have that "detached from your problems" feel.  I appreciate your kind words and your advice.  Miami really isn't that great anyhow, unless you like hot chicks, sunny days and good times.