MOD EDIT: as FM mentioned, there is a complete collection available:
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes) (v. 1, 2, 3) [Box set] [Hardcover] for $95 @ amazon.com, but as little as ~$60 used. We now return you to Real World Facts Ab win post. -un13
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tues. June 15, 2010 Pace51
Why Calvin and Hobbes was one of the best comics of all time
The book names, character names, and poems are by Bill Wwatterson. All of the descriptions and the introduction are my own writing.
Index:
Introduction:
Books:
Characters:
Treasury Collection Poems:
Introduction: When I was younger, I would always save up for weeks and weeks. Eventually, when I had enough money, I went out and talked my parents to buying Calvin and Hobbes books for me so that I didn’t have to waste money (I was a jerk back then). These comic strips are among the funniest ever written, and about a boy, Calvin, and his tiger, Hobbes. The below is an overview of the series. Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Books:
Calvin and Hobbes
Something under the bed is drooling
Yukon Ho!
Weirdos from another planet
The Revenge of the Baby-sat
Scientific Progress goes “Boink”
Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
The Days are Just Packed
Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
There’s Treasure Everywhere
It’s a Magical World
Treasury Books:
The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
The Calvin and Hobbes Lazy Sunday Book
The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes
The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes
The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
Sunday Pages
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters:
Calvin: The star of the series. He is a young six year old boy. Unlike many cartoon children, he actually behaves like a child. He hates school, and probably has ADHD. He has a pet tiger Hobbes.
Hobbes: The Co-star of the series. Although he is portrayed as a stuffed tiger when people other than Calvin see him, and as a real tiger when Calvin sees him, Bill Watterson makes it very tricky to determine if he is stuffed or real. He is much more level headed than Calvin, though they are best friends.
Calvin’s Parents: Never given any formal names by the Author, they are constantly referred to as “Mom” and “Dad”. They serve as foils for Calvin, but of the two, the Dad inspires more humorous comic strips with his emphasis on building Calvin’s character.
Susie Derkins: She is Calvin’s age, and the direct opposite of Calvin. She serves as a foil for Calvin, and is featured in many strips.
Miss Wormwood: She is Calvins teacher. A very depressed persona, she is rumoured to be on heavy anti-depressants and smoke a lot. She cares about teaching, which is unfortunate for her since Calvin hates school.
Moe: A school bully. Serves as an antagonist.
Rosalyn: Calvin’s babysitter. She overcharges, and is forced to resort to extraordinary measures to deal with Calvin. The baby sitting strips are unique as every single one of them is absolutely hilarious, including the one where Calvin locks her out of the house.
Uncle Max: Was intended to be used by the Author to “widen up” the strip. The author presumed that Calvin’s family could visit them, and vice versa, inspiring new strips. Bill Watterson dropped this idea, however, and Max makes one appearance. He appears to be your typical long lost relative, but isn’t especially quirky in any way.
Spaceman Spiff: Calvin’s alternate persona number one. Calvin uses his imagination and pretends to be an astronaut. These stories are very interesting and especially hilarious, because they show how Calvin is imagining the scenario, in a space setting, and how it is really happening.
Tracer Bullet: Same as above, except this time, Calvin imagines himself to be a heavy drinking classic detective who carries a colt 45. (This is the character in FM’s avatar).
Safari Al: Featured in a single strip. Calvin pretends to be a Safari explorer, although it turns out, he’s swimming through his room which is 5 feet deep in clothes and toys.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Treasury Collection Poems: Copyright to Bill Watterson
In each treasury collection, except for “The Authoritative”, Bill Watterson wrote a poem at the beginning. The poems are great, and the illustrations are even better. The comic strips themselves are the funniest, though.
A Nauseous Nocturn (The Essential):
Another night deprived of slumber
Hours passing without number
My eyes trace ‘round the room. I lay
Dripping sweat and now quite certain
That tonight the final curtain
Drops upon my short life’s precious play.
From the darkness, by the closet
Comes a noise much like a faucet
Makes: a madd’ning drip-drip-dripping sound.
It seems some ill-proportioned beast,
Anticipating me deceased,
Is drooling poison puddles on the ground.
A can of Mace, a forty-five,
Is all I’d need to stay alive,
But no weapon lies within my sight.
Oh my gosh! A shadows creeping.
Ominous and black. It’s seeping
Slowly’ cross a moonlit square of light
Suddenly a floorboard creak
Aannounces thebloodsucking freak
Is here to steal my future years away!
A sulf’rous smell now fills the room
Heralding my imm’nent doom!
A fang gleams in the dark and murky gray!
Oh, blood-red eyes and tentacles!
Throbbing, pulsing ventricles!
Mucus-oozing pores and frightful claws!
Worse, in terms of outright scariness,
Are the suckers multifarious
That grab and force you into its mighty jaws!
This disgusting aberration
Of nature needs no motivation
To devour helpless children in their beds.
Relishing despairing moans,
It chews kids up and sucks their bones,
And dissolves inside its mouth their li’l heads!
I know this ‘cause I read it not
Two hours ago, and then I got
The heebie-jeebies and these awful shakes.
My parents swore upon their honor
That I was safe, and not a goner.
I guess tomorrow they’ll see their sad mistakes.
In the morning, they’ll come in
And say, “What was that awful din
We heard last night? You kept us both from sleep!”
Only then will they surmise
The gruesomeness of my demise
And see that my remains are in a heap.
Dad will look at mom and say,
“Too bad he had to go that way.”
And Mom will look at Dad, and nod assent.
Mom will add, “Still, its fitting,
That as he was this world quitting,
He should leave another mess before he went.”
They may not mind at first, I know
They will miss me later, though, and perhaps admit that they were wrong,
As memories of me grow dim,
They’ll say. “We were too strict with him.
We should have listened to him all along.”
Aas speedily my end approaches
I bid a final “buenas noches”
To my best friend here in all the world.
Gently snoring, whiskers seeming
To sniff at smells (he must be dreaming),
He lies snuggled in the blankets, curled.
…
…
HEY!
HEY! WAKEUP, YOU STUPID CRETIN!
YOU GONNA SLEEP WHILE I GET EATEN?!
Suddenly the monster knows I’m not alone!
There’s an animal in bed with me!
An awful beast he did not see!
The monster would’ve never come if he had known!
The Monster, In his consternation,
Demonstrates defenestration,
And runs and runs and runs and runs away.
Rid of the pest,
I now can rest,
Thanks to my best friend, who saved the day.
End.
(The Indispensable):
I made a big decision a while ago
I don’t remember what it was, which probably goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential
Even though it often might appear inconsequential
I must have been distracted when I left my home because
Left or Right I’m sure I went (I wonder which it was!)
Anyway, I never veered: I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.
For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered far astray.
And that is how I got to where I find myself today.
Explorers are we, Intrepid and bold
Out in the wild, amongst wonders untold.
Equipped with our wits, a map and a snack
We’re searching for fun and we’re on the right track
My mother has eyes on the back of her head!
I don’t quite believe it, but that’s what she said.
She explained that she’d been so uniquely endowed
To catch me when I did Things Not Allowed.
I think she must also have eyes on her rear
I’ve noticed her hindsight is unusually clear.
At night my mind does not much care
If what it thinks is here or there.
It tells me stories it invents
And makes up things that don’t make sense.
I don’t know why it does this stuff,
The real world seems quite weird enough.
What if my bones were in a museum,
Where aliens paid good money to see ‘em?
And suppose that they’d put me together all wrong,
Sticking bones on to bones where they didn’t belong!
Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine
Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!
With each misassemblage, the error compounded!
The aliens would draw back in terror, astounded!
Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,
The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!
The museum would commission a model in plaster
Of ME, to be called, “Evolutions Disaster.”
And paleontologists there would debate,
Dozens of theories to help postulate
How man survived for thousands of years
With teeth-covered arms growing out of his ears!
Oh, I hope that I’m never in such manner diplayed,
No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.
I did not want to go with them.
Alas, I had no choice.
This was made quite clear to me
In threat’ning tones of voice
I protested mightily,
And scrambled cross’ the floor.
But though I grabbed the furniture,
They dragged me out the door.
In the car, I screamed and moaned,
I cried my red eyes dry,
The window down, I yelled for help,
To people we passed by
Mom and Dad can make the rules,
And certain things forbid,
But I can make them wish that they
Had never had a kid
Now I’m in bed,
The sheets pulled to my head
My tiger is here making Z’s
He’s furry and hot,
He takes up a lot
Of the bed and he’s hogging the breeze.
Source: All the Calvin and Hobbes comic books, especially the treasuries and the Tenth Anniversary book.
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes (Calvin & Hobbes) (v. 1, 2, 3) [Box set] [Hardcover] for $95 @ amazon.com, but as little as ~$60 used. We now return you to Real World Facts Ab win post. -un13
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tues. June 15, 2010 Pace51
Why Calvin and Hobbes was one of the best comics of all time
The book names, character names, and poems are by Bill Wwatterson. All of the descriptions and the introduction are my own writing.
Index:
Introduction:
Books:
Characters:
Treasury Collection Poems:
Introduction: When I was younger, I would always save up for weeks and weeks. Eventually, when I had enough money, I went out and talked my parents to buying Calvin and Hobbes books for me so that I didn’t have to waste money (I was a jerk back then). These comic strips are among the funniest ever written, and about a boy, Calvin, and his tiger, Hobbes. The below is an overview of the series. Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Books:
Calvin and Hobbes
Something under the bed is drooling
Yukon Ho!
Weirdos from another planet
The Revenge of the Baby-sat
Scientific Progress goes “Boink”
Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
The Days are Just Packed
Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
There’s Treasure Everywhere
It’s a Magical World
Treasury Books:
The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
The Calvin and Hobbes Lazy Sunday Book
The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes
The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes
The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
Sunday Pages
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters:
Calvin: The star of the series. He is a young six year old boy. Unlike many cartoon children, he actually behaves like a child. He hates school, and probably has ADHD. He has a pet tiger Hobbes.
Hobbes: The Co-star of the series. Although he is portrayed as a stuffed tiger when people other than Calvin see him, and as a real tiger when Calvin sees him, Bill Watterson makes it very tricky to determine if he is stuffed or real. He is much more level headed than Calvin, though they are best friends.
Calvin’s Parents: Never given any formal names by the Author, they are constantly referred to as “Mom” and “Dad”. They serve as foils for Calvin, but of the two, the Dad inspires more humorous comic strips with his emphasis on building Calvin’s character.
Susie Derkins: She is Calvin’s age, and the direct opposite of Calvin. She serves as a foil for Calvin, and is featured in many strips.
Miss Wormwood: She is Calvins teacher. A very depressed persona, she is rumoured to be on heavy anti-depressants and smoke a lot. She cares about teaching, which is unfortunate for her since Calvin hates school.
Moe: A school bully. Serves as an antagonist.
Rosalyn: Calvin’s babysitter. She overcharges, and is forced to resort to extraordinary measures to deal with Calvin. The baby sitting strips are unique as every single one of them is absolutely hilarious, including the one where Calvin locks her out of the house.
Uncle Max: Was intended to be used by the Author to “widen up” the strip. The author presumed that Calvin’s family could visit them, and vice versa, inspiring new strips. Bill Watterson dropped this idea, however, and Max makes one appearance. He appears to be your typical long lost relative, but isn’t especially quirky in any way.
Spaceman Spiff: Calvin’s alternate persona number one. Calvin uses his imagination and pretends to be an astronaut. These stories are very interesting and especially hilarious, because they show how Calvin is imagining the scenario, in a space setting, and how it is really happening.
Tracer Bullet: Same as above, except this time, Calvin imagines himself to be a heavy drinking classic detective who carries a colt 45. (This is the character in FM’s avatar).
Safari Al: Featured in a single strip. Calvin pretends to be a Safari explorer, although it turns out, he’s swimming through his room which is 5 feet deep in clothes and toys.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Treasury Collection Poems: Copyright to Bill Watterson
In each treasury collection, except for “The Authoritative”, Bill Watterson wrote a poem at the beginning. The poems are great, and the illustrations are even better. The comic strips themselves are the funniest, though.
A Nauseous Nocturn (The Essential):
Another night deprived of slumber
Hours passing without number
My eyes trace ‘round the room. I lay
Dripping sweat and now quite certain
That tonight the final curtain
Drops upon my short life’s precious play.
From the darkness, by the closet
Comes a noise much like a faucet
Makes: a madd’ning drip-drip-dripping sound.
It seems some ill-proportioned beast,
Anticipating me deceased,
Is drooling poison puddles on the ground.
A can of Mace, a forty-five,
Is all I’d need to stay alive,
But no weapon lies within my sight.
Oh my gosh! A shadows creeping.
Ominous and black. It’s seeping
Slowly’ cross a moonlit square of light
Suddenly a floorboard creak
Aannounces thebloodsucking freak
Is here to steal my future years away!
A sulf’rous smell now fills the room
Heralding my imm’nent doom!
A fang gleams in the dark and murky gray!
Oh, blood-red eyes and tentacles!
Throbbing, pulsing ventricles!
Mucus-oozing pores and frightful claws!
Worse, in terms of outright scariness,
Are the suckers multifarious
That grab and force you into its mighty jaws!
This disgusting aberration
Of nature needs no motivation
To devour helpless children in their beds.
Relishing despairing moans,
It chews kids up and sucks their bones,
And dissolves inside its mouth their li’l heads!
I know this ‘cause I read it not
Two hours ago, and then I got
The heebie-jeebies and these awful shakes.
My parents swore upon their honor
That I was safe, and not a goner.
I guess tomorrow they’ll see their sad mistakes.
In the morning, they’ll come in
And say, “What was that awful din
We heard last night? You kept us both from sleep!”
Only then will they surmise
The gruesomeness of my demise
And see that my remains are in a heap.
Dad will look at mom and say,
“Too bad he had to go that way.”
And Mom will look at Dad, and nod assent.
Mom will add, “Still, its fitting,
That as he was this world quitting,
He should leave another mess before he went.”
They may not mind at first, I know
They will miss me later, though, and perhaps admit that they were wrong,
As memories of me grow dim,
They’ll say. “We were too strict with him.
We should have listened to him all along.”
Aas speedily my end approaches
I bid a final “buenas noches”
To my best friend here in all the world.
Gently snoring, whiskers seeming
To sniff at smells (he must be dreaming),
He lies snuggled in the blankets, curled.
…
…
HEY!
HEY! WAKEUP, YOU STUPID CRETIN!
YOU GONNA SLEEP WHILE I GET EATEN?!
Suddenly the monster knows I’m not alone!
There’s an animal in bed with me!
An awful beast he did not see!
The monster would’ve never come if he had known!
The Monster, In his consternation,
Demonstrates defenestration,
And runs and runs and runs and runs away.
Rid of the pest,
I now can rest,
Thanks to my best friend, who saved the day.
End.
(The Indispensable):
I made a big decision a while ago
I don’t remember what it was, which probably goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential
Even though it often might appear inconsequential
I must have been distracted when I left my home because
Left or Right I’m sure I went (I wonder which it was!)
Anyway, I never veered: I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.
For no reason I can think of, I’ve wandered far astray.
And that is how I got to where I find myself today.
Explorers are we, Intrepid and bold
Out in the wild, amongst wonders untold.
Equipped with our wits, a map and a snack
We’re searching for fun and we’re on the right track
My mother has eyes on the back of her head!
I don’t quite believe it, but that’s what she said.
She explained that she’d been so uniquely endowed
To catch me when I did Things Not Allowed.
I think she must also have eyes on her rear
I’ve noticed her hindsight is unusually clear.
At night my mind does not much care
If what it thinks is here or there.
It tells me stories it invents
And makes up things that don’t make sense.
I don’t know why it does this stuff,
The real world seems quite weird enough.
What if my bones were in a museum,
Where aliens paid good money to see ‘em?
And suppose that they’d put me together all wrong,
Sticking bones on to bones where they didn’t belong!
Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine
Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!
With each misassemblage, the error compounded!
The aliens would draw back in terror, astounded!
Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,
The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!
The museum would commission a model in plaster
Of ME, to be called, “Evolutions Disaster.”
And paleontologists there would debate,
Dozens of theories to help postulate
How man survived for thousands of years
With teeth-covered arms growing out of his ears!
Oh, I hope that I’m never in such manner diplayed,
No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.
I did not want to go with them.
Alas, I had no choice.
This was made quite clear to me
In threat’ning tones of voice
I protested mightily,
And scrambled cross’ the floor.
But though I grabbed the furniture,
They dragged me out the door.
In the car, I screamed and moaned,
I cried my red eyes dry,
The window down, I yelled for help,
To people we passed by
Mom and Dad can make the rules,
And certain things forbid,
But I can make them wish that they
Had never had a kid
Now I’m in bed,
The sheets pulled to my head
My tiger is here making Z’s
He’s furry and hot,
He takes up a lot
Of the bed and he’s hogging the breeze.
Source: All the Calvin and Hobbes comic books, especially the treasuries and the Tenth Anniversary book.
Last edited by pace51 (2010-06-16 09:43:46)
