My Incomplete List of Meh
. Note that I don't HATE these games, but they do come up as quite Meh in my book. I'm going to go off of whatever's on my shelf and that I can think of. So without any further ado, here comes the bile (caution: profanity) -forgive some of the broken thumbnails in the gallery. i'm too lazy to jpg them all and upload them onto my photobucket pageAny STEAM rerelease of a classic game that's incomplete.Yes, I know the Quake pack is a direct port of the data, but were they too fucking lazy to somehow give us the MUSIC too?! Well, they obviously were, but that didn't stop them from charging for it. So yeah, I gotta dig out my Quake discs to hear the music, but that doesn't help me with the music for expansion packs I did not originally BUY on CD. Stick to classics that had nothing that needed a CD.Any game that requires me to yell, scream or blow into a microphone.I'm specifically looking at YOU, Nintendo. My DS is starting to get dinged up because, not wanting to look like a freak of nature in public places by fulfilling this exact requirement for progress or making it sticky with the particle-studded breath of whatever I've been eating, I scratch it with my fingernale. DROP THE GIMMICKS AND GO BACK TO MAKING VIDEO GAMES, GOD DAMMIT! But I did like Bowser's Inside Story.Any Harry Potter game that falls outside the platformer or puzzle genre.I could be wrong about the newer games, but from what I played of the demos, I had very little interest in the action-on-rails sequences.Civilization 4Mounted knights can take down an assault helicopter...how?Dungeon RunnersSucks you in with free play then does everything it can to get you to micro-transaction your way onto the streets.Neverwinter Nights 2Hardly fair to compare it to NWN1 and all those expansions when it first came out, but little has been done since to make this as good of a game as its predecessor.Dungeon Siege 2Loved Dungeon Siege 1. If it can be considered possible, Dungeon Siege 2's graphics dropped in quality.S.T.A.L.K.E.R.BF2S might crucify me for this, but it gets a sound MEH from me. Outside the first camp I turned right down the road and met soldiers whose heads could resist magazines and magazines full of assault rifle bursts. The fuck? Next gameQuake 4Like Doom 3, an underwhelming successor to its proper predecessor (no, not Quake 3). Quake 2 was awesome. Quake 4 was just, well, short and easy. The gruesome assimilation scene was the highlight of the title.Doom 3Great atmosphere, but it did not feel like Doom. The monster count was down by 99 fucking percent, and it felt like something trying to be Alone in the Dark on Mars (what happened to Phobos and Deimos, iD?! figured people who play wouldn't have a fucking clue where those were?), only with all textures covered in an unnecessary layer of glisten and a flashlight that's outperformed by a laser pointer...that you can't fucking duct tape to your gun. Another game that couldn't make up its mind and nothing felt more artificial than putting down your weapon to pull out a flashlight. You're a space marine, not a fucking civilian. The menu music had me hyped up for a rockin' experience, but they decided to fill the game with ambient crap that, while great in some games, does not do Doom any justice.Unreal Tournament 3Nothing could have underwhelmed me more after playing the polished gem that was UT2004.Dungeon LordsThe demo was promising, but the full game turned out to be a shit load of the same thing. Plus, you could just ninja your way over the contrived hills into areas beyond your current quest stage and spam level there. Game broken.B-17 (Nintendo DS)MEH.TMNT Smashup (Wii)I mean wtf, you have to fight people with buttons while shooting shit in the background with the motion controller? This game can't make up its fucking mind about what genre it is. I felt my nostalgia was taken advantage of.SporeThe first half of the game is an afterthought, which is unfortunate because those were the stages I was most looking forward to. I don't know how many times I've mentioned this, but turning the acquisition of body parts into an easter egg hunt just doesn't feel like evolution to me. It's slow, it's tedious, it cuts down my options if I missed some remote shinbone hidden up the ass of a space ostrich, and it throws me off my creative game. Off-topic, why can't we just get
Ascendancy 2?Tropico 3Replay value = 0, even for a game of that genre. Also, special events have very little affect on the appearance of the game.Sims 3Spent three days of gaming building dozens of characters, but lost interest before it was time to start controlling their lives like an evil supernatural puppet master from a Stephen King flick.Dawn of War: SoulstormUnlike most people, I liked the Sisters of Battle and the Dark Eldar. What I didn't like was the underwhelming effort put into the campaign. Sure, there's multiple planets, but none of the attention or detail put into Dark Crusade. In DC, you could hear arguments between opposing commanders during the HQ battles, varying between who was the attacker and who was the defender. Yet despite the Sisters of Battle facing Chaos or Eldar facing Dark Eldar, they decided not to take the opportunity to write some juicy dialog.Dawn of War 2MEEEEEH. Sure, I didn't expect it to have the polish of the older and expansion-studded DoW1, but removing base altogether was a move I didn't appreciate. They should have offered different game modes if they wanted to do the smaller squads and one HQ deal. Not nearly as epic as DoW 1, and the music isn't nearly as distinguished or easily repeatable.Battlefield: Bad Company 2Battlefield 1942, Vietnam, 2 and 2142 have prone. Call of Duty has prone. Fucking CONTRA has prone. So where in the developers estimation did they think that prone would ruin game play? Riddle me this, why do they have snipers in this game if you can't disappear into a bush? Why do they have vehicles when your head fucking sticks out above sandbags because you're too much of a douche-muffin to get the fuck down and hope a tank doesn't see you? Because cover explodes? NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH, ASSHOLES. I'll take my god damn chances, thank you very much.Company of Heroes: Tales of ValorDon't get me wrong, what ToV adds is awesome. It's only...well, they didn't really add all that much for what you got out of a full expansion price. The community has been clamoring for the Eastern, African and Pacific Fronts to be represented, but instead Relic was too shit-scared to upset the balance between the armies it already had and opted instead to let people swap out vehicles. To be honest, it's kind of a weak move, and how many times have we seen the western front of WW2 represented over everything else in video games? FFS, throw us a bone if you ever get around to CoH2, Relic! Of course, knowing DoW2, they might decide to pull the one HQ and population caps insufficient to fill a middle school gymnasium trick.Overlord 2Not really much of a sequel. Instead of giving you your old overlord back, you have to start from scratch again, doing the same exact fucking things you did in Overlord 1. Wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so damned cloned. Whiles it's fun breaking the 'Roman' formations, your big badass avatar has to sneak around like a kobold or just die. I was really expecting more epic armies sizes for your character to take on the thoroughly organized Empire.Supreme Commander(s) 1 & 2Neither really does justice to Total Annihilation, and SCdr even less so. The real failing in SC1 was lag in multiplayer. How does it make sense that a friend with a quad core CPU and a cable connection couldn't get a game hosted between the two of us with anything less than 500 ping and about two frames per second?Star Trek LegacyThere are exactly two Star Trek games TRULY worth playing, and those are Star Trek Armada 2 (ok, 1 too for all the fans) and Star Trek Bridge Commander. Legacy had a ton of voice talent from the shows' captains, but the gameplay absolutely refused to fascinate me.Star Trek OnlineI really didn't want to put this game on this list, but I have to be honest. If you aren't a Trekkie, stay away. If you aren't, but still want to play, then first Youtube some Trek episodes and become one. The skills are confusing and aren't well documented in-game, the synergies are impossible to figure out and the land combat is repetitive, boring and aggravating. It's improving by leaps and bounds in updates, but still not quote there yet. EVE is almost universally recommended instead, but I don't like its micro. I'd rather play this than WoW, but more and more I'd rather have an MMO with dialog where an NPC's lips move and audible words come out.Sim City SocietiesFlaccid.Gothic 3An underwhelming and, initially, cripplingly, gamestoppingly buggy upon release. If you have this game, uninstall it and play Gothic 2 instead.Elder Scrolls IV: OblivionAnother title I might get crucified for mentioning, but when the side quests are longer, more numerous and 100% more interesting than the main quest, I tend to question what I'm playing. Horseback was a cool gimmick in the game, but you always found a lone wolf that would keep harassing you until you got off your horse to kill it on foot. How come we couldn't just stick a sword in its skull without getting off? I couldn't finish it because I always got so bored that I'd butcher entire towns, then reload a save point previous to the unwholesome carnage.World of WarcraftWhat little that may have been improved over the years will do nothing to erase the completely bland experience I had during the beta. If possible, the graphics were even more corny than Warcraft 3, and it did what I can never forgive Blizzard for: rip a perfectly good singleplayer and multiplayer franchise and turn it into an MP-only paygame.Dark Messiah of Might & Magic (multiplayer)Totally lopsided and unbalanced in the favor of anyone who gets the first couple kills. New players get to enjoy the horrendous grind of fighting in what is supposed to be a team deathmatch against people with, oh, like 10,000% better gear in the first five minutes of every match, and it turns you the fuck off. Of course, the elite community loves this, so they can go circle wank until they get STD's over the internet for all I care.Vampire the Masquerade: BloodlinesIf anything, this game's greatest sin is that the company who made it went out of business in months, which meant that if anyone wanted to fix all the bugs, it would have to be the public. Luckily, someone took up the mantle, and I was able to replay this marvelous game with noticeably less glitches. Still, when your avatar's neck was stretched out like three feet because they got lazy with in-game cinematic coding, it was hard to take it seriously in parts. Again, lovely game, but meh delivery. I heartily recommend it, but don't set your hopes up too high. I hear someone's making a 'World of Darkness' MMO, but I think I'll pass.Savage 2I hate to put this on here, since it's free (unless you drop $10 for the 'privileged' edition), but it really seems far too complicated and cluttered in comparison to the smooth, easy to play and easy to watch Savage 1. They pretty much turned the learning curve into a brick wall on this one. By no means should I have to look on the internet to figure out what items or skills in a FPS (unless you're the commander) actually DO.Aliens vs Predator (the new one)Good at the onset, but devoid of so many of the features that made the first two games good that it isn't even funny. Of course, they release DLC that they
obviously couldn't have had all ready to go before they released the game, the greedy fucks. Oh, and remember how I complained that you couldn't go prone in Bad Company 2? Well, you can't DUCK in AvP (the new one). Where the hell did that come from? They couldn't put this into the game, but they could include the obligatory easter egg hunt that all games have to pad their achievements list now?Bionic Commando (the new one)It's like controlling Lara Croft, only instead of the camera being attached to her ass, it's attacked to whatever Loki, the God of Mischief, feels is the most important thing you should be looking at, rather than where the fuck you're going. And dreadlocks? Wtf...Order of WarJust like playing with plastic army men. I half-expected this to be like World in Conflict, which it was...only without the stylish delivery.Shadowgrounds & Shadowgrounds: SurvivorI really, really,
really didn't want to add these two to this list, but I have no choice. Despite the RPG elements and coop capability, essentially making this kind of like Diablo in space, it really doesn't draw you back for a second playthrough. I only half-heartedly recommend it to my friends.Ghostbusters (the new one)I LOVE this game. I really do. It's even got the voices! But it could have been so much more. They could have at least given us a little taste of free-roaming in New York city and let us drive Ecto-1. And as far as the easter eggs go, I really could have done without the animated pair of pants that plays disco music and follows you around. back at the firehouse. Could have, should have, would have.New Super Mario Bros (DS)OK, I might be digging around a little, but is it just me or is this game unnaturally short? Or am I wrong and was it so good that it seemed way too short? No, I think it was just short...and too easy.Guild WarsI don't even know what to say. I love the game, but I hate it at the same time, so I'm just going to skip overall criticism and say that anet has the approximate security of a glass house. You can have numbers, letters and symbols in your password and change it every few weeks, abstain from any hacking software and keep your antivirus software and firewall up, but it's still ridiculously vulnerable to theft, and not even from YOUR end. I think the the only reason some people haven't had it happen to them yet is that there are so many many users. Good luck getting any sympathy from the company or other players over it. All your hours of gameplay are just 1's and 0's anyway, so why should you care?Age of ConanIn all honesty, this game can be so awesome that it doesn't really belong here. Even if you get ganked, there is some comfort in knowing that level barrier doesn't necessarily prevent vengeance, but there is only so many hours you pay for that you can tolerate hiding in the bushes from people with little interest other than popping their zits all over the monitor or stabbing your ass with a sword before you can say level 5. If you complained, they'd say 'it's CONAN, deal.' No deal. Avoid PvP servers. The PvE ones still have areas where you can fight.Metal Slug Anthology (PSP)When a game lags on a CONSOLE, you know things haven't really been thought through. Still, Sony has my money, so I guess they win on that account.
Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2010-05-31 17:40:20)