BF2S Forums D&ST - Science

Newbie hasn't been to church in forever. I went to church earlier this year with the very Catholic Italian girl. It was a big meh.

There is nothing special about church itself that allows people to meet for relationships. Just going to mass on Sundays and leaving isn't going to result in you getting a wife. You need to show up for the after events and the Saturday outings and all of that other stuff. All of the other meetings and events exists in other organizations and institutions too.


People have just retreated from social networking in general. I would argue that the issues that caused that retreat are all interconnected and neither conservatives nor liberals are innocent.

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I think a good part of the problem has been the normalization of therapy language in every day life. Give me my old man yells at clouds moment but I am annoyed when everything is about "boundaries," "trauma," "don't be a creep," etc.



I think a generation of men were socialized to be overly concerned with not being a creep while the same cohort of women were socialized to see men as dangerous and to live in panicked isolation. This has resulted in a huge marriage/baby gap among younger people.

Yes, dating at work is inappropriate. I have learned that lesson and stopped. But...what is the point of doing any of this stuff if you aren't getting laid and enjoying yourself? Rates of depression among men and women skyrocketed at the same time 'growing awareness of...' started to take off.

Perhaps many of the old structures came into existence because they actually worked. You met a girl at work, her lady coworkers encourage you two to date, you hit it off just enough to start a relationship. Literally happened to me. A substitute teacher approached me after two lady teachers thought we would be a good fit. And we dated for awhile. People would say that was inappropriate and blah blah. But we were both free and open to it at the time.

We told people that it was inappropriate to seek relationships in all of these different settings. Then people just stopped seeking relationships. Now we have tons of immigrants from conservative countries filling in the gap and starting families because we socialized American people to be monks and nuns.

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I have been both a victim and perpetrator of "workplace harassment" by the way. It happens to guys too.

I was just using that as one example of how socially constrained society has become around dating. Shitty jobs and bad housing are real complaints. No disagreement there.

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The same complaint about it no longer being okay to chase girls at work also is valid to hobbies and other stuff.


I was talking to a girl at a casino bar recently and we hit it off. But what if she wasn't open to it? What if she complained or recorded me and put me on TikTok because you shouldn't bother girls in public?

This stuff happens all the time and it eventually piles up. Then we are left with generations of people retreating from relationships, sex, marriage, having children.

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I don't blame women for this situation. I am all in favor of doing whatever you need to get ahead or protect yourself. I more blame the media for encouraging and promoting mutual distrust and fear between the sexes.

Edit: I almost feel like there is a vast Jewish conspiracy in the media to get people to stop reproducing. That's insane and I should know better but the amount of sad/depressing media coming out of Hollywood combined with over representation of Jewish figures in leadership roles totally promotes that sort of thinking. A lot of toxic thinking comes from Hollywood and, as Christians or former Christians, we know that our communities are frankly incompatible. "They want to scare you into staying home and not starting families."

Last edited by SuperJail Warden (2025-08-03 17:35:57)

@mac

a venue like a bar or casino are, depending on context, probably more reasonable places to connect that way. i think you're the type of person who will buzz off if told to buzz. a number of men are not.

re: distrust between sexes, always there within living memory before the internet was a twinkle in the pubic eye.

boys were told that girls might get pregnant to tie them down and take their money even if it's not their baby. never be alone with them! i remember hearing this on the radio. wild.

girls were told to walk with their keys in their fist like wolverine's claws, and armed with all sorts of rape deterrent. and often have stories of being creeped upon, harassed, sexually assaulted, i imagine to a fairly higher degree than men who don't really tend to think much about the guy walking along the same sidewalk a block behind them.

these are not the same.

this doesn't mean that things like propagation of racism aren't a factor. they can be.




this also doesn't mean that apps like tea aren't morally dubious in execution. although the dark glee at news of the app's piss-poor data security is kind of telling. some of the posts i've seen irt tea users being doxxed are from people who probably should actually be on steer-clear notices.

you run all your laundry cycles on sanitize. i don't think you'd enjoy a post-2020 workplace where everyone kisses or otherwise touches skin every day.