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3930K | H100i | RIVF | 16GB DDR3 | GTX 480 | AX750 | 800D | 512GB SSD | 3TB HDD | Xonar DX | W8
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As I stand at the entrance to Michigan Adventures, my younger siblings rush past me, eager to be the first to reach MIGHTY MICHIGAN WATER LAKES MAN and receive a free sticker (KEEP OUR LAKES CLEAN). I fucking hate amusement parks. Parents wait with miserable children in long lines for rides they have convinced themselves they enjoyed as children. In turn, their children will inevitably wait with their children for the same god-forsaken-piece-of-shit-mother-fucking-jesus-on-a-piece-of-toast-rides.
I hope the world ends soon.
There is undeniable proof that hell is real and the devil exists through the existence of amusement parks. No tyrant could be sadistic enough to create stalls and attractions with intentionally clashing colors and smells, and no man could be smart enough to convince people they are enjoying it. There is, in fact, only one thing that is enjoyable at amusement parks; bumper cars.
After a half hour wait, my brother and I enter the rink with one objective – piss people off. With all the dedication of a level 10 internet troll we give innumerable children whiplash and box one particularly obnoxious patron in a corner. After leaving the bumper cars area (not entirely on our own will) we decide to head over to the food court, where we spy our family waiting under a statue of Michigan Adventures other hero –SUPER STREAM AND RIVER MAN.
The younger kids demand that we eat at The Nothing but Peanut Butter Eatery- ITS NUTTILY GOODNESS. As the name implies, the restaurant sells only peanut butter products. After managing to choke down a bowl of “world famous” and “patented” Macaroni and Peanut Butter, our mother insists we go on a family ride. My siblings decide that ride should be WONDERFUL WINNIE THE POO ADVENTURE – IT’S A HONEY OF A RIDE!!! Half way through the ride, with the “WATERFALL OF WONDERFULNESS” in site, my mother decides it is far too scary and decides to leave the “boat” (Did I mention you float in honey pots down a “RIVER OF HONEY GOODNESS”?) The only exit was a fire exit, which she decided to take anyways. The water was drained from the ride, leaving my family (along with around 20 other families) stranded above the ground while we watched my mother run from security guards. She was within 10 feet of the “BIG BOWL BOWLING BARN” when they caught her. She carries mace, which she felt obliged to use.
We didn’t get a refund.
I hope the world ends soon.
There is undeniable proof that hell is real and the devil exists through the existence of amusement parks. No tyrant could be sadistic enough to create stalls and attractions with intentionally clashing colors and smells, and no man could be smart enough to convince people they are enjoying it. There is, in fact, only one thing that is enjoyable at amusement parks; bumper cars.
After a half hour wait, my brother and I enter the rink with one objective – piss people off. With all the dedication of a level 10 internet troll we give innumerable children whiplash and box one particularly obnoxious patron in a corner. After leaving the bumper cars area (not entirely on our own will) we decide to head over to the food court, where we spy our family waiting under a statue of Michigan Adventures other hero –SUPER STREAM AND RIVER MAN.
The younger kids demand that we eat at The Nothing but Peanut Butter Eatery- ITS NUTTILY GOODNESS. As the name implies, the restaurant sells only peanut butter products. After managing to choke down a bowl of “world famous” and “patented” Macaroni and Peanut Butter, our mother insists we go on a family ride. My siblings decide that ride should be WONDERFUL WINNIE THE POO ADVENTURE – IT’S A HONEY OF A RIDE!!! Half way through the ride, with the “WATERFALL OF WONDERFULNESS” in site, my mother decides it is far too scary and decides to leave the “boat” (Did I mention you float in honey pots down a “RIVER OF HONEY GOODNESS”?) The only exit was a fire exit, which she decided to take anyways. The water was drained from the ride, leaving my family (along with around 20 other families) stranded above the ground while we watched my mother run from security guards. She was within 10 feet of the “BIG BOWL BOWLING BARN” when they caught her. She carries mace, which she felt obliged to use.
We didn’t get a refund.
Okay, I'm calling contest B and C now.
B is won by legionair
C is won by [HOF]Mercenary
Congradulations to the both of you.
Part A I'm closing down and announcing that all of you, especially AussieReaper are morons.
As the winning number would have been 85, but none of you idiots were smart enough to figure that out.
B is won by legionair
C is won by [HOF]Mercenary
Congradulations to the both of you.
Part A I'm closing down and announcing that all of you, especially AussieReaper are morons.
As the winning number would have been 85, but none of you idiots were smart enough to figure that out.
closed
85
ah I missed the close button