Well, this election has been a symphony of clusterf**ks. Every little thing that could go wrong, did go wrong. Here are just 30 of them:
1. Malcolm Turnbull rolled a first term prime minister despite voters preferring to do that themselves.
2. Turnbull waited until he was too low in the polls to call an election.
3. When he did call an election it was on the basis of two obscure bills that the broader public neither knew nor cared about.
4. It was a double-dissolution, which made it easier for nutbags to get in.
5. It was after Senate voting changes, which made it easier for nutbags to get in.
6. The Coalition’s only real platform was the Budget, which left them nothing to announce during the campaign itself.
7. The centrepiece was a company tax cut and bugger all for ordinary workers.
8. Turnbull said the company tax cuts were the primary driver for “jobs and growth” but they wouldn’t fully come into effect until he’d been elected three times.
9. Bill Shorten made up a story that Medicare would be privatised and that WINTER IS COMING.
10. The Liberals did nothing.
11. Shorten kept going.
12. The Liberals sharted themselves and said they would never outsource Medicare’s stupid old processing system, which could have actually saved Medicare money.
13. Labor robo-called people in the middle of the night, telling them they were all going to die.
14. Labor sent out pretend Medicare text messages to people, telling them they were all going to die.
15. Everyone forgot there was a state called Tasmania.
16. GetUp! did not forget there was a state called Tasmania.
17. The Liberals couldn’t get people to get up and go to fundraisers.
18. The Liberals couldn’t raise any funds because the Prime Minister was too rich.
19. The Liberals couldn’t raise the Prime Minister.
20. Bill Shorten was angry all the time.
21. Voters were angry all the time.
22. Tony Windsor was angry all the time.
23. Barnaby Joyce was stuck fighting Tony Windsor.
24. Malcolm Turnbull will probably win enough seats to remain as Prime Minister.
25. Malcolm Turnbull will not win enough seats to remain as Prime Minister very long.
26. Bill Shorten will probably win enough seats to remain as Opposition Leader.
25. Bill Shorten will not win enough seats to remain as Opposition Leader very long.
26. If Turnbull installs Tony Abbott he will retain the confidence of the party.
27. If Turnbull installs Tony Abbott he will lose the confidence of the public.
28. If Turnbull installs Tony Abbott he will lose his mind.
29. If Shorten sticks around Albo will lose his mind.
30. Pauline Hanson has done quite well.http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/rendezvie … 898e780445
Last edited by Dilbert_X (2016-07-09 00:14:56)