What should I change and what grammar errors are there?
The topic is "the positive/negative impacts of technology on teenagers."
Technology is an important part of everyday life. Teenagers use technology to make their lives easier and more enjoyable. Some of these young teenagers take advantage of technology. Teenagers are impacted in positive and negative ways. Teenagers have grown accustomed to using new technology to do work for them and make all of their troubles go away. Technology is becoming more and more accessible to teenagers and soon teenagers will be taken over by it.
Technology is very important to how teenagers live their lives. New technology has revolutionized the way teenagers live at home. Teenagers have access to the news online and on television so that they do not have to read the newspaper. Young people use technology to wash clothes, clean dishes, and clean their homes. When people travel they do not realize that technology in their vehicles has been developed for decades to make it more efficient. Technology has made accessing food easier than ever by the creation of fast food restaurants and drive-thru windows at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Taco Bell. People no longer have to go inside restaurants to order food because they can wait comfortably in their cars and order from outside the restaurant.
Technology has a lot of downfalls and some of these downfalls can be very serious. Technology is taken advantage of by teenagers that are lazy and do not want to do things for themselves without help. Technology in school is a big reason why students are becoming less attentive in classes and becoming careless. Students use iPods in class to listen to music when they should be listening to the teacher that is giving a lesson. Not only is technology in school bad, but it is even worse outside of school in the public world. Teenagers talk and text on the phone when they are driving and that is very unsafe not only for the person driving, but people that are driving next to that person or are on the sidewalk. Nearly ten-thousand people are killed each year due to people on their phones while driving. Driving while on the phone is one thing, but it is also unsafe for teenagers to be on their phones or iPods while walking in a city and not being aware of their surroundings. People that do not know what is going on could get injured or even killed by a driver that is not paying attention.
Technology has many benefits as well as detriments. Technology is used in hospitals to monitor patients and make sure that they are in stable condition. If a patient is not doing well then a nurse or doctor is alerted so that the patient can be helped if needed. Machines are used in hospitals to do ultrasounds, x-rays, magnetic resonance image scans, and many other important procedures to make sure that people are in excellent condition. Emergency crews need technology to help victims in car accidents, fires, and other emergency situations. If these emergency crews do not have defibrillators, water hoses, hydraulic rescue tools, and other tools then they cannot help people that are in danger.
Technology is a very important part life because it is the only economic force that is guaranteed to move in a forward direction. Without technology people would have never moved up in society and would not have the tools needed to do difficult or untimely tasks. Technology should be used for the good of mankind and should not be taken advantage of just because it is easy to access. People need to contribute to society and use technology to become more informed and learn new things. With new technology becoming available everyday, there is no reason why people should have problems with any task.
The topic is "the positive/negative impacts of technology on teenagers."
Technology is an important part of everyday life. Teenagers use technology to make their lives easier and more enjoyable. Some of these young teenagers take advantage of technology. Teenagers are impacted in positive and negative ways. Teenagers have grown accustomed to using new technology to do work for them and make all of their troubles go away. Technology is becoming more and more accessible to teenagers and soon teenagers will be taken over by it.
Technology is very important to how teenagers live their lives. New technology has revolutionized the way teenagers live at home. Teenagers have access to the news online and on television so that they do not have to read the newspaper. Young people use technology to wash clothes, clean dishes, and clean their homes. When people travel they do not realize that technology in their vehicles has been developed for decades to make it more efficient. Technology has made accessing food easier than ever by the creation of fast food restaurants and drive-thru windows at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Taco Bell. People no longer have to go inside restaurants to order food because they can wait comfortably in their cars and order from outside the restaurant.
Technology has a lot of downfalls and some of these downfalls can be very serious. Technology is taken advantage of by teenagers that are lazy and do not want to do things for themselves without help. Technology in school is a big reason why students are becoming less attentive in classes and becoming careless. Students use iPods in class to listen to music when they should be listening to the teacher that is giving a lesson. Not only is technology in school bad, but it is even worse outside of school in the public world. Teenagers talk and text on the phone when they are driving and that is very unsafe not only for the person driving, but people that are driving next to that person or are on the sidewalk. Nearly ten-thousand people are killed each year due to people on their phones while driving. Driving while on the phone is one thing, but it is also unsafe for teenagers to be on their phones or iPods while walking in a city and not being aware of their surroundings. People that do not know what is going on could get injured or even killed by a driver that is not paying attention.
Technology has many benefits as well as detriments. Technology is used in hospitals to monitor patients and make sure that they are in stable condition. If a patient is not doing well then a nurse or doctor is alerted so that the patient can be helped if needed. Machines are used in hospitals to do ultrasounds, x-rays, magnetic resonance image scans, and many other important procedures to make sure that people are in excellent condition. Emergency crews need technology to help victims in car accidents, fires, and other emergency situations. If these emergency crews do not have defibrillators, water hoses, hydraulic rescue tools, and other tools then they cannot help people that are in danger.
Technology is a very important part life because it is the only economic force that is guaranteed to move in a forward direction. Without technology people would have never moved up in society and would not have the tools needed to do difficult or untimely tasks. Technology should be used for the good of mankind and should not be taken advantage of just because it is easy to access. People need to contribute to society and use technology to become more informed and learn new things. With new technology becoming available everyday, there is no reason why people should have problems with any task.
Last edited by WienerBreath (2009-09-13 21:12:57)
