I lost a close friend and co-worker back in April of this year. He didn't show up for work one Friday and wasn't answering his phone. I got a call around 2pm and it was his ex-girlfriend. She was hysterically crying and almost impossible to understand. He killed himself earlier that morning and she had just found him. I've never had someone close to me commit suicide before. It was hard to deal with and I'm not a very emotional person......at all. It was even harder to deal with since his mother asked us all to tell everyone he died in a car accident. For days and weeks we had to tell everyone who came in the store that he was in a fatal car accident and that we didn't have any details. The everyday lying got to me, wondering why he wanted to die is still getting to me, the fact that he couldn't just talk to someone about it is still getting to me too. It's all still getting to me. I was wondering if anyone else here has had a close friend or family member commit suicide, and how they dealt with it. Also I was curious about everyone's opinion on suicide in general. Is it our right to decide? The weak way out? A sin?
Mental Illness is a major issue. Lost a friend who was Bi-polar in 2003. RIP Sven.
If it's really getting to you and causing you anguish, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. There's no shame in that.
I never said anything about deleting it, He is fully entitled to make asinine comments like that, as I am entitled to tell him it was asinine.
OT: I believe it is a very complicated subject, and I will edit this post to go into more detail when I get back from the store.
EDIT: To your first question, no I have been lucky enough to not go through that.
For the other: I think suicide is quite a horrible thing to do to your friends and family. At this point in my life I can not see why I would ever want to take what I consider to be a cowards way out. It does only creates so much more pain for those around you than it solves. For example, Growing up, I had a friend who walked into his garage to find is father hanging from the rafters... I can not imagine what that was for him to go through, but it had to be much worse than what his dad was going through.
Having said that, like everything else in life, there are exceptions to the rule. I fully understand that people who do commit suicide are not thinking straight at the time, and are most likely mentally unbalanced in some way. Also people with horrible and excruciating illness where every waking moment they are in pain. Also there are times like discussed in this thread: http://forums.bf2s.com/viewtopic.php?id=127983
I am pretty sure it will never ever be a black and white subject, and wish you good luck on getting past it. If nothing else use it to remember the pain it cause you if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are considering it.
OT: I believe it is a very complicated subject, and I will edit this post to go into more detail when I get back from the store.
EDIT: To your first question, no I have been lucky enough to not go through that.
For the other: I think suicide is quite a horrible thing to do to your friends and family. At this point in my life I can not see why I would ever want to take what I consider to be a cowards way out. It does only creates so much more pain for those around you than it solves. For example, Growing up, I had a friend who walked into his garage to find is father hanging from the rafters... I can not imagine what that was for him to go through, but it had to be much worse than what his dad was going through.
Having said that, like everything else in life, there are exceptions to the rule. I fully understand that people who do commit suicide are not thinking straight at the time, and are most likely mentally unbalanced in some way. Also people with horrible and excruciating illness where every waking moment they are in pain. Also there are times like discussed in this thread: http://forums.bf2s.com/viewtopic.php?id=127983
I am pretty sure it will never ever be a black and white subject, and wish you good luck on getting past it. If nothing else use it to remember the pain it cause you if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are considering it.
Last edited by Nic (2009-08-02 00:27:08)
I'm willing to bet he did it because he got tired of the life of today.
That is some sad shit dude.
That is some sad shit dude.
To me, suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do...their problems are over and all they leave behind is a massive hole of anguish and guilt for family and friends. As far as dealing with it goes, coming from the experience of seeing a friend go through losing someone, the only thing you can really do is keep going from day to day. If you need to cry, cry, if you need to angrily beat the crap out of something, do it to an inanimate object. There won't be a quick way to get through the pain, but by doing what you need to do, you wont have feelings bottled up.
Serious Flex
They say that suicide comes from the ones you least expect. They never ask for help, they either push on through, or choose not to.
You sir, need to get that religious brainwashing out of your head.Harmor wrote:
Suicide is a mortal sin. He will have his body continuously ripped apart for all eternity or worst.
Last edited by d4rkph03n1x (2009-08-02 04:39:32)
Its our right to decide.
But I've learned its better to take yourself out of the situation by another means.
Also time changes everything, things are rarely as bad as they appear at the time.
But I've learned its better to take yourself out of the situation by another means.
Also time changes everything, things are rarely as bad as they appear at the time.
Fuck Israel
Eh I have no problem with somebody wanting to end their own lives. I think it's selfish to make someone stay alive who doesn't want to be for my own amusement and satisfaction though if somebody close to me suicided I would cry like a woman. The only time I would have a problem with suicide is if the person had small children they had to take care of and the children had to grow up without a mother or father.
A friend of mine saw his dad hang himself back when he was 4 years old, my friend of course isn't the most stable person.
A friend of mine saw his dad hang himself back when he was 4 years old, my friend of course isn't the most stable person.
I think you're a cool dude.... but that's just plain mean.Harmor wrote:
Suicide is a mortal sin. He will have his body continuously ripped apart for all eternity or worst.
And to the OP... Nobody can know what your friend was feeling...
I can only imagine he felt that things would never get better
but they can and they do...
Like the song... People get stuck in a moment they can't get out of... RIP to your friend...
Love is the answer
I think if people realized the impact their suicide would have on those around them, they would think twice. But the problem is that someone who thinks the only solution is to lock lips with a gun barrel isn't thinking rationally anyway.
The anguish is understandable. But you and all your friends need to realize none of it was your fault. Your friend chose his course. You did not. His family did not. Mourn the loss, but don't try to attribute blame for the loss to anyone but the guy who did it.
Try to learn from it. It's always easier after the fact to go back and see the warning signs. My organization had four suicides in the year before I joined it. People are still reeling from them. But the organization as a whole has also learned. People are much more in tune with one another and watching out for one another. The military makes us do the post-event analysis to try to prevent future incidents. Whether or not it helps you probably depends on the type of personality you have. It sounds like you are possibly more analytical than emotional...it may just help you.
Regardless, RIP to your friend and peace to you and the others who survived him.
The anguish is understandable. But you and all your friends need to realize none of it was your fault. Your friend chose his course. You did not. His family did not. Mourn the loss, but don't try to attribute blame for the loss to anyone but the guy who did it.
Try to learn from it. It's always easier after the fact to go back and see the warning signs. My organization had four suicides in the year before I joined it. People are still reeling from them. But the organization as a whole has also learned. People are much more in tune with one another and watching out for one another. The military makes us do the post-event analysis to try to prevent future incidents. Whether or not it helps you probably depends on the type of personality you have. It sounds like you are possibly more analytical than emotional...it may just help you.
Regardless, RIP to your friend and peace to you and the others who survived him.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein
Doing the popular thing is not always right. Doing the right thing is not always popular
― Albert Einstein
Doing the popular thing is not always right. Doing the right thing is not always popular
I believe it is a sin as well...
But not sure about the being eternally ripped apart part, though
EDIT: I guess it's something that can be chosen, that does not mean I think it's right, but people can (I guess) and do choose it
But not sure about the being eternally ripped apart part, though
EDIT: I guess it's something that can be chosen, that does not mean I think it's right, but people can (I guess) and do choose it
Last edited by nickb64 (2009-08-02 15:34:31)
Okay, lets move on from that comment.
Once people become so disconnected from the world that they think it holds nothing for them then other peoples feelings cease to be relevant.FEOS wrote:
I think if people realized the impact their suicide would have on those around them, they would think twice. But the problem is that someone who thinks the only solution is to lock lips with a gun barrel isn't thinking rationally anyway.
Its not that they don't care, generally, its just that the people around them might as well be martians as far as they are concerned.
It would be interesting to hear how. Often once on the downward spiral they are almost unstoppable - even if detected which is pretty rare.But the organization as a whole has also learned. People are much more in tune with one another and watching out for one another.
Fuck Israel