Graphic-J
The Artist formerly known as GraphicArtist-J
+196|6123|So Cal
An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself..

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.
.
https://img43.imageshack.us/img43/9329/78568832.jpg
.
.

A 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

The man ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked
over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on
him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was
even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled
over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on
top of him, reaching for him with his left and raising his
right paw to strike him.
.
https://img194.imageshack.us/img194/5751/68528164.jpg
.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh God, help me!".

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out
of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years,
teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a
cosmic accident... Do you expect me to help you out of
this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It
would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat
me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the
BEAR a Christian?"

"Very Well", said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws
together, bowed his head & spoke:
...
.
https://img11.imageshack.us/img11/2065/17912853.jpg
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.....

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy
bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."




( Something to appease both sides of the spectrum ) 
https://i44.tinypic.com/28vg66s.jpg
Uzique
dasein.
+2,865|6467
From the first paragraph onwards, the guy sounds more like a Romanticist than an Atheist, like he's gonna break out with a Tintern Abbey rewrite or something...
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Swan
The town bike
+54|5444

Uzique wrote:

From the first paragraph onwards, the guy sounds more like a Romanticist than an Atheist, like he's gonna break out with a Tintern Abbey rewrite or something...
Red Forman
Banned
+402|5397

Uzique wrote:

From the first paragraph onwards, the guy sounds more like a Romanticist than an Atheist, like he's gonna break out with a Tintern Abbey rewrite or something...
I don't think the guy was trying to be Wordsworth.
blah
macaroni with cheeseeee
+111|5744|Croatia
wasn't this posted in best best joke?
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5582

I once saw this porn video where this couple shoot a bear out of a tree and killed it. The man then bent his wife over the dead bear and had anal sex with her. Just reminded me of that.
CammRobb
Banned
+1,510|6127|Carnoustie MASSIF
Love it! haha!
Oisín<3
>rush.Irishpride
+139|5423|Dublin, Ireland
Fucking lolled.
Toilet Sex
one love, one pig
+1,775|6568

Macbeth wrote:

I once saw this porn video where this couple shoot a bear out of a tree and killed it. The man then bent his wife over the dead bear and had anal sex with her. Just reminded me of that.
from the family archive?
Doctor Strangelove
Real Battlefield Veterinarian.
+1,758|6465
Pretty funny.
blademaster
I'm moving to Brazil
+2,075|6642
Go Bear!!!!!! the guy got pawned lol
Graphic-J
The Artist formerly known as GraphicArtist-J
+196|6123|So Cal
I once saw a pic of dead guy (corpse) after being eaten by a hungry bear. Bear was killed but he left the guy's upper half of his body intact... all of his lower half of the body was nothing but mostly bones with pieces of meat. very gruesome...  I think I know the site to the link link but I would be ban-hammered if I post it....









... Ok back to this funny *happy* thread

Last edited by GraphicArtist J (2009-07-20 15:40:55)

https://i44.tinypic.com/28vg66s.jpg
Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|6618|London, England

Uzique wrote:

From the first paragraph onwards, the guy sounds more like a Romanticist than an Atheist, like he's gonna break out with a Tintern Abbey rewrite or something...
/thread
-MetaL*
Sup guies
+157|5631|Southern California
Lame
SealXo
Member
+309|6532
but I thought God loves all his children?
I thought God gave every person a set path before he was even born?
Why would God kill somebody?
Isn't God a loving God?
If God is an all knowing God and knows he is supreme over any other being why would God act as a jealous God in the bible?

Last edited by SealXo (2009-07-20 16:54:15)

Mekstizzle
WALKER
+3,611|6618|London, England

SealXo wrote:

If God is an all knowing God and knows he is supreme over any other being why would God act as a jealous God in the bible?
Because Jews said so now shut up and be a good Christian you heathen
GravyDan
Back from the Grave(y)
+768|5929|CA
That was deep like Gooner's anal cavity.
Locoloki
I got Mug 222 at Gritty's!!!!
+216|6637|Your moms bedroom
bears cant talk
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5582

Locoloki wrote:

bears cant talk
and there is no god.
GravyDan
Back from the Grave(y)
+768|5929|CA

Locoloki wrote:

bears cant talk
You're thinking of Muslim bears.  This one is christian.
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6149|what

God is vengeful.

He set the bear to attack the atheist. Why worship a kid with an ant farm?
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
blademaster
I'm moving to Brazil
+2,075|6642

GravyDan wrote:

Locoloki wrote:

bears cant talk
You're thinking of Muslim bears.  This one is christian.
ROLF Muslim bears hahaha made me LOL +1 GravyDan
Roomba
You will pay the price for your lack of vision.
+26|6489|Land of Cotton
Thanks for the laugh.
SealXo
Member
+309|6532

AussieReaper wrote:

God is vengeful.

He set the bear to attack the atheist. Why worship a kid with an ant farm?
klool
Hurricane2k9
Pendulous Sweaty Balls
+1,538|5698|College Park, MD
jews did bear attack
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/36793/marylandsig.jpg

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