Okay I suppose... I couldnt sleep at all last night and now I'm exhausted at work, but I'll live. I need distractions but all my friends work evenings when I work daysFFLink wrote:
That sucksWinston_Churchill wrote:
Not really, just that she still liked me but didn't feel the same 'spark' anymoreFFLink wrote:
Wow, that sucks.
She say why..?
Taking it ok?
@Winston: sorry to hear, mate. Hope you can get a little fun in the week.
@Uzi: This is going to be harsh.
From what I've gathered here, your relationship is going to go pear-shaped very soon if you aren't careful. She's at the breaking point, and so are you. When she left for the week, it's to get away from you--this David character is just a distraction. You're pissing her off, as she thinks you're on her case. You think she's being dishonest, and that she's essentially eloping. She needs time off, my friend, and it seems that you do too; you're worrying far too much.
You trust this girl?
If you do, then let her go. Let her be alone or with whomever she wishes for the week, then when she gets back don't mention David in any way. In the meantime, have fun on your own. Go home, ask your padre if you can borrow the Lambo. ()
If you don't, you're done. You might as well call her, tell her that your relationship is over, because it is. She didn't tell you about meeting David simply because she didn't want to endure a scene. The fact that she told you about it on the phone indicates that she's not trying to have an affair with this guy--just that she wants peace.
The choice is yours; fret or chill, in the layman's words. I evidently don't know much about you, but I've read enough to know that you're a good man, and that you'll make the right decision.
Live it.
@Uzi: This is going to be harsh.
From what I've gathered here, your relationship is going to go pear-shaped very soon if you aren't careful. She's at the breaking point, and so are you. When she left for the week, it's to get away from you--this David character is just a distraction. You're pissing her off, as she thinks you're on her case. You think she's being dishonest, and that she's essentially eloping. She needs time off, my friend, and it seems that you do too; you're worrying far too much.
You trust this girl?
If you do, then let her go. Let her be alone or with whomever she wishes for the week, then when she gets back don't mention David in any way. In the meantime, have fun on your own. Go home, ask your padre if you can borrow the Lambo. ()
If you don't, you're done. You might as well call her, tell her that your relationship is over, because it is. She didn't tell you about meeting David simply because she didn't want to endure a scene. The fact that she told you about it on the phone indicates that she's not trying to have an affair with this guy--just that she wants peace.
The choice is yours; fret or chill, in the layman's words. I evidently don't know much about you, but I've read enough to know that you're a good man, and that you'll make the right decision.
Live it.
I like pie.
Harsh, but fair methinks, TSI...
I know I haven't done anything wrong, and there hasn't been a big 'argument' or explosion of conflict in our relationship, but yeah I acknowledge that by refusing to give her the time and space that she wants regardless, I'm making things way more difficult. It started out as a period of stress boiling over, with petty disagreements becoming way more blown out than they ever needed to be, because she was high-strung, and now because I haven't been able to mentally leave it and let it lie and cool down for a while, I've just fed the flame and she's feeling more pressured and cornered than ever. She knows the score, I've told her that I'm willing to make any changes, and for now I know I've just got to give her the week or so of freedom so that she can totally clear her head of all the negativity and bad-vibes of the last 2-3 weeks.
About the David-creeper guy, I know I've just got to sit on that as well and hope that as things between us get better, he fucks off. If she doesn't naturally lean back into the old style and way of our relationship - with me and her as the tight-knit group and all friends being secondary - then I'll have to say something objectively after a few weeks of peace. But I definitely don't understate the importance of a few weeks quiet and rest, I know that if I boil over myself and express dislike or uncomfortable feelings towards her & David, or any other thing in her life, then she's just going to feel criticized and under attack again and will run away, probably for good. It's unfortunate for me, in my male vs. male position, that she has gone to him for her support - but you're right TSI, the fact that it's him and the fact that he's a guy that wants to hook up with her is irrelevant; at the moment all she sees and needs their friendship for is support- being happy again, picking her spirits up, having a good time and climbing out of the depressive lurch. As much as her choice of company and the way she goes about it hurts me and makes me uncomfortable, I know that in order to hold onto our relationship, that's what I'm going to have to deal with, for now. When things are all happy and domestically-secure again, then I can try to tidy up and address any hangover-problems relating to David, or any things that have gone adrift during the break away.
I guess a part of me, I suppose the 'ego' part, doesn't like the fact that a relationship I worked hard for and considered secure has gone awry and now needs a break period, but then again perhaps I'm being too self-critical-- even the best of couples need time apart and breaks from each other, right? I guess because this girl was emotionally needy and 'intense', when she was announcing to her family and parents after moving in with me that I was "her life partner" and the one she was going to marry, etc. I kind of bought into her dream. Now she's the one calling for a break, and I'm still trying to piece together just where her original ambitions and super-strong emotions went. Probably still there... she's a complicated one, that's for sure!
I know I haven't done anything wrong, and there hasn't been a big 'argument' or explosion of conflict in our relationship, but yeah I acknowledge that by refusing to give her the time and space that she wants regardless, I'm making things way more difficult. It started out as a period of stress boiling over, with petty disagreements becoming way more blown out than they ever needed to be, because she was high-strung, and now because I haven't been able to mentally leave it and let it lie and cool down for a while, I've just fed the flame and she's feeling more pressured and cornered than ever. She knows the score, I've told her that I'm willing to make any changes, and for now I know I've just got to give her the week or so of freedom so that she can totally clear her head of all the negativity and bad-vibes of the last 2-3 weeks.
About the David-creeper guy, I know I've just got to sit on that as well and hope that as things between us get better, he fucks off. If she doesn't naturally lean back into the old style and way of our relationship - with me and her as the tight-knit group and all friends being secondary - then I'll have to say something objectively after a few weeks of peace. But I definitely don't understate the importance of a few weeks quiet and rest, I know that if I boil over myself and express dislike or uncomfortable feelings towards her & David, or any other thing in her life, then she's just going to feel criticized and under attack again and will run away, probably for good. It's unfortunate for me, in my male vs. male position, that she has gone to him for her support - but you're right TSI, the fact that it's him and the fact that he's a guy that wants to hook up with her is irrelevant; at the moment all she sees and needs their friendship for is support- being happy again, picking her spirits up, having a good time and climbing out of the depressive lurch. As much as her choice of company and the way she goes about it hurts me and makes me uncomfortable, I know that in order to hold onto our relationship, that's what I'm going to have to deal with, for now. When things are all happy and domestically-secure again, then I can try to tidy up and address any hangover-problems relating to David, or any things that have gone adrift during the break away.
I guess a part of me, I suppose the 'ego' part, doesn't like the fact that a relationship I worked hard for and considered secure has gone awry and now needs a break period, but then again perhaps I'm being too self-critical-- even the best of couples need time apart and breaks from each other, right? I guess because this girl was emotionally needy and 'intense', when she was announcing to her family and parents after moving in with me that I was "her life partner" and the one she was going to marry, etc. I kind of bought into her dream. Now she's the one calling for a break, and I'm still trying to piece together just where her original ambitions and super-strong emotions went. Probably still there... she's a complicated one, that's for sure!
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Wow, that sounds so familiar to me.Uzique wrote:
I guess a part of me, I suppose the 'ego' part, doesn't like the fact that a relationship I worked hard for and considered secure has gone awry and now needs a break period, but then again perhaps I'm being too self-critical-- even the best of couples need time apart and breaks from each other, right? I guess because this girl was emotionally needy and 'intense', when she was announcing to her family and parents after moving in with me that I was "her life partner" and the one she was going to marry, etc. I kind of bought into her dream. Now she's the one calling for a break, and I'm still trying to piece together just where her original ambitions and super-strong emotions went. Probably still there... she's a complicated one, that's for sure!
Once again Uzi; good luck. Take a chill week, hang out with your mates - allow them to cheer you up - play some football - whatever sport you play, get the anger out of your system by doing this also - go do something that makes you happy, or something that you haven't been able to do whilst being around her... (just not anything stupid).
RELAX; a word that at the moment you don't know how to do, learn to do it again!
So im 17 years old and i would consider myself pretty popular/good looking/athletic guy (not to be cocky or anything im just confident).... however i happened to be under the influence of alcohol last night and not using my best reasoning. So my really good friend that happens to be a girl (really sexy) was with me all last night and i have always liked her i guess you could say. Now after coming home from the party i decided to get on facebook (yes it is reallly gay i know) and message her saying i really like her and i would like to be in a relationship with her.
Now the next day, i woke up realizing what a dumb idea that was and how she must think i am the biggest fucking creeper in the world using facebook to tell her that. She has yet to read it and i wrote her a new message saying sorry for the stupid message. Should i take any other precautions or just wait it out and see how she responds.
Now the next day, i woke up realizing what a dumb idea that was and how she must think i am the biggest fucking creeper in the world using facebook to tell her that. She has yet to read it and i wrote her a new message saying sorry for the stupid message. Should i take any other precautions or just wait it out and see how she responds.
bad move using facebook to tell her. you had all night to tell her face to face, and the alcohol could only have helped you make your case.DrOxiN wrote:
So im 17 years old and i would consider myself pretty popular/good looking/athletic guy (not to be cocky or anything im just confident).... however i happened to be under the influence of alcohol last night and not using my best reasoning. So my really good friend that happens to be a girl (really sexy) was with me all last night and i have always liked her i guess you could say. Now after coming home from the party i decided to get on facebook (yes it is reallly gay i know) and message her saying i really like her and i would like to be in a relationship with her.
Now the next day, i woke up realizing what a dumb idea that was and how she must think i am the biggest fucking creeper in the world using facebook to tell her that. She has yet to read it and i wrote her a new message saying sorry for the stupid message. Should i take any other precautions or just wait it out and see how she responds.
even worse move sending her ANOTHER message APOLOGIZING. way to make yourself look like an unsure loser.
what you should have done was make the most of the situation. the cat is out of the bag, you might as well go for it. get her alone and tell her what a dumbass you have been to take so long to tell her how you feel.
if she goes for it, lucky you. if not, it could hardly be any worse than leaving it as is.
Last edited by Krappyappy (2009-07-22 14:57:26)
Yes, she probably thinks you are a creeper, and probably doesn't understand that virtually any guy "friend" really wants to fuck her. You don't have to tell her the latter, but you didn't have to send out another distress signal in the form of facebook message either, because it kind of makes you look desperate. Just play it off as drunken shenanigans if you don't really want to pursue anything, or just wait for her response if you do. Either way profusely apologising makes you look like a fag.
@Uzique good luck man. I hope things work out between you two.
Girl likes me, I like her. We both know this (it was the elephant in the room). Thing is I'm going to college in two months (well, 59 days) and she's still gonna be in high school. And that's high school in DC. I'm gonna be in California. So long distance won't work (I don't want to feel restrained while over there, and I doubt she wants to feel restrained although I don't doubt her faithfulness.) And also, as much as I like her I don't think she's "the one", meaning I don't think a long distance relationship would work in the long run.
So wat do, bf2s? Should we just forget about labels and enjoy each other's company these next few months? Or should we make it something more serious? I'm leaning towards the former.
Girl likes me, I like her. We both know this (it was the elephant in the room). Thing is I'm going to college in two months (well, 59 days) and she's still gonna be in high school. And that's high school in DC. I'm gonna be in California. So long distance won't work (I don't want to feel restrained while over there, and I doubt she wants to feel restrained although I don't doubt her faithfulness.) And also, as much as I like her I don't think she's "the one", meaning I don't think a long distance relationship would work in the long run.
So wat do, bf2s? Should we just forget about labels and enjoy each other's company these next few months? Or should we make it something more serious? I'm leaning towards the former.
you are a couple of teenagers, how 'serious' can it possibly get?Hurricane2k9 wrote:
@Uzique good luck man. I hope things work out between you two.
Girl likes me, I like her. We both know this (it was the elephant in the room). Thing is I'm going to college in two months (well, 59 days) and she's still gonna be in high school. And that's high school in DC. I'm gonna be in California. So long distance won't work (I don't want to feel restrained while over there, and I doubt she wants to feel restrained although I don't doubt her faithfulness.) And also, as much as I like her I don't think she's "the one", meaning I don't think a long distance relationship would work in the long run.
So wat do, bf2s? Should we just forget about labels and enjoy each other's company these next few months? Or should we make it something more serious? I'm leaning towards the former.
no matter what label you put on it it's still two teenagers awkwardly learning to bond with the opposite sex.
if you are competent, you'll find a way to get into her pants before you leave.
as for what happens after, it's college, degree, job, the end of the universe. doesn't really matter as there is a 99% chance nothing will come of this 'relationship' in the end.
Get together and see what happens. You never know what could happen. Maybe you guys will develop a strong relationship that'll work out long distance, maybe you won't. Personally I'd wait until college to find someone with this little time left...better chance of staying with them for a while.Hurricane2k9 wrote:
@Uzique good luck man. I hope things work out between you two.
Girl likes me, I like her. We both know this (it was the elephant in the room). Thing is I'm going to college in two months (well, 59 days) and she's still gonna be in high school. And that's high school in DC. I'm gonna be in California. So long distance won't work (I don't want to feel restrained while over there, and I doubt she wants to feel restrained although I don't doubt her faithfulness.) And also, as much as I like her I don't think she's "the one", meaning I don't think a long distance relationship would work in the long run.
So wat do, bf2s? Should we just forget about labels and enjoy each other's company these next few months? Or should we make it something more serious? I'm leaning towards the former.
>.< trueKrappyappy wrote:
you are a couple of teenagers, how 'serious' can it possibly get?
@Poseidon thanks for the input
Last edited by Hurricane2k9 (2009-07-22 15:18:36)
well i didnt really persay apologize it was more like i was really drunk when i sent that but i do like you kind of thing. Just dont want to make things awkward. But yea she just said its fine and she does like me but its summer.... aka she doesnt want me or a relationship haha.KEN-JENNINGS wrote:
Yes, she probably thinks you are a creeper, and probably doesn't understand that virtually any guy "friend" really wants to fuck her. You don't have to tell her the latter, but you didn't have to send out another distress signal in the form of facebook message either, because it kind of makes you look desperate. Just play it off as drunken shenanigans if you don't really want to pursue anything, or just wait for her response if you do. Either way profusely apologising makes you look like a fag.
god some women are idiotsDrOxiN wrote:
but its summer.... aka she doesnt want me or a relationship haha.
shouldn't she WANT a relationship since it's summer? a ton of free time that she's probably not doing anything worthwhile with (as is the case with most people our age).
Last edited by Hurricane2k9 (2009-07-22 15:26:46)
Never seen Grease? Summer lovin, happened so fast. Blah blah blah. When you are young summer is for hooking up with chicks, nothing serious.Hurricane2k9 wrote:
god some women are idiotsDrOxiN wrote:
but its summer.... aka she doesnt want me or a relationship haha.
shouldn't she WANT a relationship since it's summer? a ton of free time that she's probably not doing anything worthwhile with (as is the case with most people our age).
Easy. Just go for it, take it if you can. Enjoy! And when the summer's over, well, you'll be away and find a new girl.Hurricane2k9 wrote:
@Uzique good luck man. I hope things work out between you two.
Girl likes me, I like her. We both know this (it was the elephant in the room). Thing is I'm going to college in two months (well, 59 days) and she's still gonna be in high school. And that's high school in DC. I'm gonna be in California. So long distance won't work (I don't want to feel restrained while over there, and I doubt she wants to feel restrained although I don't doubt her faithfulness.) And also, as much as I like her I don't think she's "the one", meaning I don't think a long distance relationship would work in the long run.
So wat do, bf2s? Should we just forget about labels and enjoy each other's company these next few months? Or should we make it something more serious? I'm leaning towards the former.
I like pie.
spoken like a true frenchman. . . i agree, it could develop into something more, but only if you're not honest and communicate up front.TSI wrote:
Easy. Just go for it, take it if you can. Enjoy! And when the summer's over, well, you'll be away and find a new girl.
be honest, with yourself and her.
In that situation you really have nothing to lose. Because even if it all goes badly, at least you will be in another city soon
I hope that everything goes well for you two. I would just say that maby the heart lights are a little too much.
But i don't know her i don't know what she likes so i won't say that i'm sure about that.
But will keep my fingers crossed that everything runs smoothly.
But i don't know her i don't know what she likes so i won't say that i'm sure about that.
But will keep my fingers crossed that everything runs smoothly.
Fall seven times. Stand up eight.
Thanks a lot... the heart lights were already hers, just she never used them and kept complaining that they were a waste of money . There's not tons of them, they're just wrapped around the pedestal thing like you'd wrap lights around a Christmas tree- they're just for aesthetics, really. The champers-package looked a little bare just sitting there on a wooden platform with a letter tacked onto it!
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Oh okay that sounds a lot better now! I got the impression that the whole room is full of those lights
So nevermind what i wrote up there before. I hope she'll love it
So nevermind what i wrote up there before. I hope she'll love it
Fall seven times. Stand up eight.
Thanks .
I'm sure she'll appreciate it, at least... she's not the sorta girl to just turn around and go "Hey, this is totally inappropriate!"- I just hope that by surrounding her with nice things and by treating her like she's worth the million $$$'s that she is, her negative and downwards-spiralling mind will see that things aren't so bad, at all... it's the only thing I can do, right?
I'm sure she'll appreciate it, at least... she's not the sorta girl to just turn around and go "Hey, this is totally inappropriate!"- I just hope that by surrounding her with nice things and by treating her like she's worth the million $$$'s that she is, her negative and downwards-spiralling mind will see that things aren't so bad, at all... it's the only thing I can do, right?
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
Good luck Uzi I hope it goes well and Im sorry to learn of your nerves. By all means pm me the full story if you can be fucked and I will offer my advice if needed. Hope it goes well tonight but more importantly the next few weeks and so on.
Good luck I've been reading the situation (stalking if that's what you want to call it) so hope it goes well
♥
Dazzle her.
Quality champagne I hope!Uzique wrote:
Well, my missus comes home today, for the weekend at least... not sure if she'll be staying much longer, guess I'll have to see how it goes.
On the phone for the first time in days yesterday, things seemed okay - but I was hella nervous, which never happens with me and dem bitches! Things were... reciprocal. I missed her, she missed me; I looked forward to seeing her, she said it'll be nice to see me, too etc. So, I guess I can be glad that at least the break hasn't radically changed her feelings, whatever her stance towards the relationship's status may be.
To try and bring her back to a nice, upbeat and promising atmosphere, I've filled her room with 'I Love You' helium balloons and have a prize bottle of champagne on ice on a pedestal in the middle of her room, with a small letter stuck to the platform, with red-heart fairy lights hanging around the entire damn room. I also killed off at least £50's worth of Chanel Pour Homme cologne (her favourite smell o' mine) by tastefully spraying it on the letter, on my pillows, etc. If it all goes terribly wrong, I'm down about £120 for a poor-judged stunt. If it goes well, then I'm getting mad loads of poontang tonight!
No doubt some heavy talks and real searching will be done, it's going to be stressful and that's why I guess I'm nervous/anxious about it - I know some unpleasant and testing, risky times are up ahead in the next few days. For now though, I'm just going to focus on making home-life and making our relationship seem like the shizzle bizzle... will see if she's up for coming out for a meal at a local Michelin-starred restaurant later, although that may be pushing it.
Good luck man, hope it works out for you.