BF2S Forums The BF2s girl-problems thread

krazed wrote:

went quite well actually

Any closer to her boobies?

the only way out of the friend zone is to kill her.


Lol i kid, its pretty easy to work your way out the friend zone if you know what you're doin. Well played krazed.

I pity you guys with girls problems, i love being single, in fact some girl jus asked if she could come stay with me for a couple of days, n said that when she's with me she cant stop talkin n always embarrasses herself, i was like, yeah thats cos you're tryin to impress me, she got all embarrassed n was like "maybe". I also told her i was gonna spank her for being naughty.

Well i'm happy to say at the moment I don't have any girl problems at all. Everything is going fine . A certain temptation has now left for a long time meaning I'm not.. well tempted, and so things with me and my gf are going just fine. I mean its bad that it even works like that but you know how it is sometimes.

I've finally got with the girl I've wanted for ages, I've slept with her 3 times now.

I'm already bored and flirting with one of her mates, I fucking fail.

So today my long-term girlfriend came home from a trip home "to see family", and ended up telling me that she had spent the last 2 days with her reallllllly-creepily close best friend (male) that I mentioned a few pages back, who was sending her creepy "I miss us" emails in the past. She turned up at the house at 5pm and, as it turns out, she had been at a theme-park with him all day on a proper merry day out. She also told me that she had to "draw the line", and said that she missed her friendship and close-bond with him, and to continue in our relationship we basically now have to have this weird guy that's stuck in the 'best friend zone' himself as a third-wheel. She's talking about like phoning/texting/messaging him everyday, basically turning to him for all the emotional support and strength that any normal person would get from the relationship.

This guy has been a frequent and recurring nightmare for me in this relationship -- the only problem, in fact. He's just always... there. Before she met me, he was a genuinely good guy to her, and did care for her etc. although the creepy texts/emails show he has clearly always longed for something more, but never got it. As a result, I see this guy as a threat and a little bitch that's trying to crawl inside my missus on the 'kind, understanding, best-friend-for-life' route, but all she sees is a faultless, blameless Messiah that has just done a good job of keeping her chin up during hard-times in the past.

So, apart from a big "FML", what should I do BF2s? She's essentially asking for everything with her & him to be restored to the way that it was on day one of our relationship, i.e. a big fucking headache for me.  I just don't like the 'third wheel' feeling, nor do I like the idea that my own support, care and love is being undermined by the guy that 'could have been' for all of her teenage past. I've told her that I have to draw my own lines, and established that certain things are just fucked-up; e.g. the way they speak to each other, the way he pesters and hints at more, the closeness and platonic smoochiness- basically things that just make the boyfriend feel uncomfortable. Now, after eloping and relapsing into that style of friendship with him, after a 3-4 month period of not much contact, she's saying she wants it back as a permanent thing. Fucking cock.

Last edited by Uzique (2009-07-17 13:20:14)

Express the above sentiments to her, clearly and directly.

Failing that, express the above sentiments to him, clearly and directly.

Failing that, tell him to fuck off and find some other girl.

IMO.

eds: referring to your post 3 up from this

Last edited by Bevo (2009-07-17 13:48:25)

Bevo wrote:

Express the above sentiments to her, clearly and directly.

Failing that, express the above sentiments to him, clearly and directly.

Failing that, tell him to fuck off and find some other girl.

IMO.

eds: referring to your post 3 up from this

Yeah, wish it was so simple... I have been direct, but like I said, she's a pretty emotionally-susceptible girl and definitely needs her 'support structure'. So basically being forcefully direct, saying I want him gone, would be suicide for me and our relationship. She needs someone she can turn to when she's feeling down and shitty - which is normally me, and normally SHOULD be fucking me - just after going home for a few days it has flipped back into his court, and she now feels that he should stick around permanently as her agony uncle (and by uncle I do mean the stereotypical one that will try to get you drunk at a party and fondle you). It's pretty complicated. I'm living with the girl and never could have foreseen such a random relapse and 'want' for a friendship that expired nearly 6 months ago, now. Splitting up with her and still living in the same property as her, because of a random desperate asswipe that lives 150 miles away and barely ever actually gets to see her now, would be 'wasteful', I guess.

Just going to play the charmer-game for now, hope to sway her firmly back into my arms- show her I can be that necessary support- and hope that he wanders off, as per usual, and drops ranks on her agenda. Fuck me though, I do hate the effort involved, and the general feeling of being caught up in some male dick-swinging powerplay contest, after we've been together for a pretty long, established time already.

@Krazed: No, she doesn't lead him on. She actually, of her own volition, sent him an email a few weeks back saying that the nature and frequency of their friendship had to change, because it wasn't compatible with her relationship with me- and we're the "main thing in her life". That's what I meant when I said that we've both made sacrifices... she basically has made efforts to notably downgrade their friendship and make things cool and acceptable. This is just a bad relapse - she told me she felt "guilty" and 'regrets" cutting contact with him like that now, she feels it was too cold, because he did do a lot for her before she met me, etc. I think he's just in it at the moment for the platonic closeness that they always have, holding onto the chances of getting laid with a hottie.

Last edited by Uzique (2009-07-17 13:58:46)

Perhaps the opposite then.

Suggest/get a day where the three of you could "just chill", and then use aggressive body language to get him to back off. Show him that you're serious business and not going anywhere. Depending on how it's read though, it could come across as you being insecure about your relationship which will make him try even harder.

Or, alternatively, be all nice and cheery to him, which will basically say "I'm willing to put up with your desperate shit, but I'm not going anywhere", which may also achieve the desired effect.

@ the above two: Yeah, cheers. I did think about befriending him, if only at first via Facebook or something (he's from her hometown, so I can't exactly just chill with him at the local bar, he's over 100 miles away)- but I'll probably have to run the idea past her first. She may read it as me trying to intimidate him or chat to him in private, i.e. to tell him to politely fuck off.

At the moment she's in her room, sleeping. She said I'm welcome to sleep in her bed tonight, but there doesn't seem to be any want or any desire. She's not particularly being very responsive when I talk to her or anything... it's just difficult. I don't know what the fuck has changed in her head since she went home, but it's put me at the bottom of a very steep mountain that I have to begrudgingly climb. Makes me feel like shit, fucking women.

I wouldn't worry about it at all Uzique, she's just gotten used to a different mode of life after the time spent at home and will need a few days to place her head. I strongly recommend you not try and play the strong man and intimidate either him or her into closing the lines of communication, be it through the seemingly simple act of not spending the night with her or the more expressive punch to the face for him.

It's a good idea to run the friendship idea through your gf first, she'll undoubtedly grease the wheels for you and speed up the process. I suppose you'll need to make more trips to her hometown to hang out with this guy in order to build the kind of relationship you need to pull off the maneuver. Ideally he will become your (fake) shoulder too, and you can have him play the middle (and the fool) and blow him out of the water as soon as he slips up.

mtb0minime wrote:

Maybe have an open relationship or let her fool around with him just to get it out of her system?

Please don't do that ^

Toilet Sex wrote:

mtb0minime wrote:

Maybe have an open relationship or let her fool around with him just to get it out of her system?

Please don't do that ^

Heh, no I really wasn't recommending that. Just slipped in there. Like I mentioned after that statement, it'll just screw things up.