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2007-11-27 06:49:50
FEOS
Bellicose Yankee Air Pirate
+1,182|6639|'Murka

fredskov9 wrote:

first i want to thank all of you for the positive feedback,it really helped me find out what i have to do.i talked to her,and promised i would be 110% committed to my family.i will do what it takes bec i still love her,and i wont take the easy way out.. THANKS again guys
Good on you. Way to man up...much respect.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein
Doing the popular thing is not always right. Doing the right thing is not always popular
2007-11-27 07:40:43
loubot
O' HAL naw!
+470|6806|Columbus, OH

Nappy wrote:

hang in there dude, dont leave its not worth it!

things will get better

and people, seriously fuck off with your divorce-cheat-whatever comments this is d&st
Meh My opinion things don't get better when a wife yells at her husband, especially if it is not warranted. If you are doing something wrong in her eyes ask her and keep asking her. Other than that, keep her in check. I am not telling you to hit her but man-up and demand to be treated with respect....you won't achknowledge her unless she speaks in a decent tone. Personally I do not put up when PMS excuses or what ever hormonal issue. Anyway, never say the "D" word to her. Try to work things out even if you do not love her anymore. Talking and reassuring her with some form of commitment may help reduce her verbal abuse.
2007-11-27 08:13:58
13rin
Member
+977|6707

Ilocano wrote:

1.  Post-partum syndrome.

2.  Is she a stay-at-home mom taking care of the child 24/7?  Who is waking up at night to feed/change the baby?

3.  If both of you are working, who spends more time taking care of the baby?
I side with #1.  It used to be all "how's the new mom to be today?".. Now that she's popped out the kid it's all about him.  She's still getting settled as Mommy.  Give her a break & don't wuss out on her when she and your son need you the most.
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something.  - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.
2007-11-27 18:59:06
fadedsteve
GOP Sympathizer
+266|6719|Menlo Park, CA

I'm Jamesey wrote:

fadedsteve wrote:

Divorce her ass as the relationship has obviously disolved. . .

Then hire a lawyer get a divorce and get sole custody!! You shouldnt have to live like that, dont sacrifice your happiness just because you share a child together.  That broad can go back to Poland empty handed as far as your concerned!!

The worst thing you could do is get caught cheating and give her ammo to say your a swinging bachelor and not a good father!!
What the fuck?

...

She's most likely going through some form of depression, that doesn't give anyone the right to yank her child away and send her packing back to her own country.
What do you mean what the fuck??

You have to get a lawyer if your getting divorced, and if you have a kid and you want custody you gotta keep your nose clean.  I have too many people that I know who have had the same issue the thread starter is talking about. . . Thankfully I have never been married, and dont plan on marrying my current girlfriend(s) lol. . . .

Sounds like dude is not happy. . .  why not be single and be happy without getting bitched at day in and day out? If he isnt in love with the broad anymore, why is he wasting his time?
2007-11-27 19:02:44
Hurricane
Banned
+1,153|6859|Washington, DC

fadedsteve wrote:

I'm Jamesey wrote:

fadedsteve wrote:

Divorce her ass as the relationship has obviously disolved. . .

Then hire a lawyer get a divorce and get sole custody!! You shouldnt have to live like that, dont sacrifice your happiness just because you share a child together.  That broad can go back to Poland empty handed as far as your concerned!!

The worst thing you could do is get caught cheating and give her ammo to say your a swinging bachelor and not a good father!!
What the fuck?

...

She's most likely going through some form of depression, that doesn't give anyone the right to yank her child away and send her packing back to her own country.
What do you mean what the fuck??

You have to get a lawyer if your getting divorced, and if you have a kid and you want custody you gotta keep your nose clean.  I have too many people that I know who have had the same issue the thread starter is talking about. . . Thankfully I have never been married, and dont plan on marrying my current girlfriend(s) lol. . . .

Sounds like dude is not happy. . .  why not be single and be happy without getting bitched at day in and day out? If he isnt in love with the broad anymore, why is he wasting his time?
He just said he still loves her a few posts up dude. I don't think he's exasperated over their relationship but rather over how his wife has been (most likely post partum depression).

Granted sometimes divorces are for the best, but having known first-hand how you feel when your parents split up, it's not just some light decision you make because a guy over the internet said so.
2007-11-27 19:09:06
Yellowman03
Once Again, We Meet at Last
+108|6463|Texas
i'll give you the medical explanation. After birth, the woman's body has to re-adjust all her hormones back to normal because pregnancy produces different ones. Sometimes this can take a month or two, depending on the body. Every woman is different. She is angry and relatively annoying because the body is "playing around" with it's homones until balance is restored. I would give it a much longer time before you consider divorce. I'm pretty sure it's not her. It's just her body.
2007-11-27 19:20:14
usmarine
Banned
+2,785|6990

G3|Genius wrote:

usmarine2005 wrote:

Married...pfffftt.

80% of the people I know who have been married are divorced.  And I am currently banging a married chick.  Why do you people still get married?
I don't understand why you are proud of that...  that's not sarcasm...  I can see how you have no desire for commitment, but to "bang" someone else's spouse is mocking the commitment of two other people, and it also mocks the institution as a whole.

Broken families are tough.  I don't think there is anything to be proud of if you are contributing to that...
I did not initiate it.  She is not happy with her marriage, that is not my problem.
2007-11-27 23:45:27
I'm Jamesey
Do a Research Noob
+506|6361|Scotland!
For everyone ignorant enough to advise him to dump he ass because she's bitching ??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression

Meh My opinion things don't get better when a wife yells at her husband, especially if it is not warranted. If you are doing something wrong in her eyes ask her and keep asking her. Other than that, keep her in check. I am not telling you to hit her but man-up and demand to be treated with respect....you won't achknowledge her unless she speaks in a decent tone. Personally I do not put up when PMS excuses or what ever hormonal issue.
I've lived with it, it is warranted, it's not PMS excuses, or what ever hormonal issue, it's a real illness and they're not acting in that way for fun.
2007-11-27 23:55:36
nukchebi0
Пушкин, наше всё
+387|6552|New Haven, CT

usmarine2005 wrote:

G3|Genius wrote:

usmarine2005 wrote:

Married...pfffftt.

80% of the people I know who have been married are divorced.  And I am currently banging a married chick.  Why do you people still get married?
I don't understand why you are proud of that...  that's not sarcasm...  I can see how you have no desire for commitment, but to "bang" someone else's spouse is mocking the commitment of two other people, and it also mocks the institution as a whole.

Broken families are tough.  I don't think there is anything to be proud of if you are contributing to that...
I did not initiate it.  She is not happy with her marriage, that is not my problem.
Nice rationalization...

...not.
2007-11-28 00:23:51
I'm Jamesey
Do a Research Noob
+506|6361|Scotland!

Superslim wrote:

fredskov9 wrote:

first i want to thank all of you for the positive feedback,it really helped me find out what i have to do.i talked to her,and promised i would be 110% committed to my family.i will do what it takes bec i still love her,and i wont take the easy way out.. THANKS again guys
Good for you!!!!

I know its tough, been there myself so I know exactly what you are going thru, but a real man always stays with his family, come hell or high water, it will always work out in the end. Just keep the communication going and help out as best you can.
In some cases it is best if the man just leaves, but I get where you're coming from.
2007-11-28 07:01:05
G3|Genius
Pope of BF2s
+355|6854|Sea to globally-cooled sea

usmarine2005 wrote:

Oh I see.  I am mocking an "institution" that has pretty much failed in modern times.  Roger that.
I do not think the institution has failed.  I think that people do not respect the institution.

Rather than saying the institution has failed people, it is more accurate to say that people have failed the institution.

People are more narcissistic these days more than ever.  Just read these forums!  Marriage does not work well when people care for themselves before their spouses.

I still say you "banging" someone else's spouse is a dishonorable thing to do.

Last edited by G3|Genius (2007-11-28 07:01:36)

2007-11-28 07:11:57
Parker
isteal
+1,452|6622|The Gem Saloon

G3|Genius wrote:

usmarine2005 wrote:

Oh I see.  I am mocking an "institution" that has pretty much failed in modern times.  Roger that.
I do not think the institution has failed.  I think that people do not respect the institution.

Rather than saying the institution has failed people, it is more accurate to say that people have failed the institution.

People are more narcissistic these days more than ever.  Just read these forums!  Marriage does not work well when people care for themselves before their spouses.

I still say you "banging" someone else's spouse is a dishonorable thing to do.
i agree and disagree at the same time with both of you LOL...i know, im confused right?


first, i do believe that marriage is a sacred bond between two people.
with that said, there are situations where it is a complete joke however. example: my friends got married because they had a child.....some of you might recall the thread when i was asking for advice, because their daughter had passed away.
they married cause they had a child....she died....now they are getting divorced.
rather superfluous, but hes an old school kind of guy.


now, i wont pass judgment on marine, specifically cause of situations like i mentioned above, and if he says he didnt initiate it, that makes a difference in my book.
but i still think it is a special bond between two people.....WHEN IT IS DONE CORRECTLY.



lol, speaking of doing it correctly......i reconciled with my ex this past weekend, so it looks like her and i are going to start over and try again.
2007-11-28 07:24:28
Ender2309
has joined the GOP
+470|6799|USA

Parker wrote:

...

lol, speaking of doing it correctly......i reconciled with my ex this past weekend, so it looks like her and i are going to start over and try again.
good for you parker, good luck!
2007-11-28 08:19:16
Metal-Eater-GR
I can haz titanium paancakez?
+490|6501
Give it some more time.As some dude mentioned above,its natural for the woman to be an ass.
Good luck with ur son man.
2007-11-28 12:12:51
Lai
Member
+186|6379

Parker wrote:

my friends got married because they had a child.....some of you might recall the thread when i was asking for advice, because their daughter had passed away.
they married cause they had a child....she died....now they are getting divorced.
Yes I do recall,.. now they're splitting up,.. man that really sucks. It's quite common for people to split up after such a thing, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Now two people are grieving alone for the child they had together
2007-11-28 12:23:39
too_money2007
Member
+145|6537|Keller, Tx
I went through it too. We had our son nearly 7 months ago and my wife turned into a control freak. I couldn't do anything without pissing her off and I was about to snap. Finally, she realized she was being a fucking bitch about everything and started to chill. She might've had a bit of PPD, as me going to my companies softball games turned into a fight. Apparently I didn't want our son and I wasn't a good father.

Anyways, she's gotten better, but is still really fucking bitchy about the dumbest shit, and very hypocritcal. Everything must be about her her her. She wants all the changes in our lifestyle, which I do too, but she doesn't want to change anything to get to that point (pretty fucking stupid eh?) Trying to debate her is like pouring bleech into my eyes. I just ignore it and move on.

But, things will get better. You really just need to slow down and take control. Put all your time into the baby  and wife, and when they sleep, you'll have time to do whatever you want. That's what I do. I stay up late to play my games and watch tv/movies. She's a stay at home mom, so I give her as much rest as possible.

Oh yeah, life's a bitch.
2007-11-28 12:37:38
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6878

Kill her and stage it as an accident. That way you don't lose any money on lawyers etc, and you keep possession of the child. Bonus points if she has life insurance.
2007-11-28 17:20:13
The#1Spot
Member
+105|6768|byah

usmarine2005 wrote:

Married...pfffftt.

80% of the people I know who have been married are divorced.  And I am currently banging a married chick.  Why do you people still get married?
The only advantage I see is lowered insurance. Still not very convincing.
2007-11-29 09:19:24
Stingray24
Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy
+1,060|6674|The Land of Scott Walker
Let’s see . . . companionship, deeper intimacy, help with household duties, stability for children.  I'd say those are all better than cheaper insurance or a tax advantage.
2007-11-29 21:56:27
fadedsteve
GOP Sympathizer
+266|6719|Menlo Park, CA
I think people get married too early/ or just because they think its the adult thing to do. . .

I am 28 and in NO HURRY to get married whatsoever, not because I am against it but rather because I havent met anyone worth marrying.  Honestly, I dont think human beings are meant to be monogamous! There are so many reasons why that is the case its unreal. . . . Men are here to procreate, look at the animal world, is there any monogamy in the animal world. . . NO!!

We are animals just like everything else in this world, and we have an animal instinct to want to mate with attractive members of the opposite sex.  I have married friends who say ALL THE TIME how "Hot that chick is", or "I would bang the shit out of her" not because they are immature, but rather they are men who are caged with only one female.  Just like Kramer on Seinfeld says, "Marriage is a man made prison, your doin' time!". 

Look at the fucking divorce rate in the USA, its 49%!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not because people always cheat, but rather its because humans arent meant to be with just one person . . . . Statistics dont lie, neither does true human instinct!
2007-11-30 00:34:22
Lai
Member
+186|6379
Following that reasoning, humans aren't meant to have a sedentary life either; they should live in caves and throw javelins at Bambi for supper. What sets people appart from animals is their ability to reason and by those means overcome feeble primitive instincts. Without that, the whole concept of civilization can be cast away.
2007-11-30 13:23:21
Stingray24
Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy
+1,060|6674|The Land of Scott Walker
Consider this: My "one female" can please me like no other because of our commitment to each other and over 7 1/2 years she's learned what I like.  Marriage does require effort more than any other relationship. Some people aren't willing to do the work.  That doesn't mean they weren't meant to be married, it means they were too soft to man up and do what was necessary.  We human beings are selfish wankers by nature.  When have two people aren't willing to compromise and work together, guess what happens.  There's your 49%.
2007-11-30 14:55:32
Ajax_the_Great1
Dropped on request
+206|6875

FatherTed wrote:

usmarine2005 wrote:

Married...pfffftt.

80% of the people I know who have been married are divorced.  And I am currently banging a married chick.  Why do you people still get married?
I hate people like you.
Why? Because he doesn't believe in marriage? Marriage is stupid. Why can't you just be with someone for a certain amount of time and then just leave when you aren't happy with it anymore? Everyone wants it to be so permanent. It doesn't matter who the person is, if you live with someone long enough eventually they'll start to piss you off.
2007-11-30 15:36:32
Lai
Member
+186|6379

Ajax_the_Great1 wrote:

FatherTed wrote:

usmarine2005 wrote:

Married...pfffftt.

80% of the people I know who have been married are divorced.  And I am currently banging a married chick.  Why do you people still get married?
I hate people like you.
Why? Because he doesn't believe in marriage? Marriage is stupid. Why can't you just be with someone for a certain amount of time and then just leave when you aren't happy with it anymore? Everyone wants it to be so permanent. It doesn't matter who the person is, if you live with someone long enough eventually they'll start to piss you off.
Perhaps because you want your children to grow up in a stable environment and not be raised by multiple strangers of various types, that you and/or your ex choose as new relations?

Perhaps people shouldn't get children anymore, that would probably resolve the whole issue within a generation or so.

You might also want to consider that, well at least some people, can be happy with a permanent relation (and yes, know in advance).
2007-11-30 15:48:25
=DB4D=Slight
Member
+8|6413
OK, there are some fuckards on here, and some good advice.
Been there too old boy, and welcome to the club of Dads. You are now my brother.

You have to step up and take it. It is the hardest thing in the world, but you are equal to it, with the help of your Brother Dads.

You're wife may be in pain still at this time, she may be frightening, she may be suffering from postal natal depression. Your job is to protect your son AND you wife, and hold everying together.

Please believe me, Brother. It will get better. You are up to the job. You have your brother. PM me, if you need to.

 

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