Men vs Women

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2006-10-12 06:04:39

Vub: The Power of Two; +188|6486|Sydney, Australia

This may be a lost cause on these forums because I estimate the demographic makeup of BF2s forum users to be predominantly male. But I know there are females on these forums too, and I welcome their rebuttles. I'm making generalised comments based on what I've observed from films, pop culture, music, literature and anecdotes. Definitely there will be people who don't act in the manner which I claim.

I've noticed with a certain dismay that despite the feminist struggles of the 80s for greater rights and respect for women, the role of the man and woman are far from equal in the relationship. The generally accepted role of the male is to please the female, to win the female, to agree with the female, and to apologise to the female so frequently it seems they're doing it with the hope of reinstating lasting peace with their partner.

It is the male who proposes, many females are willing to wait for the man to ask, even though she desires it greatly.
It is he who buys her flowers, and showers her with gifts. Many females seem to be materialistic, and judges the male, to a certain degree, on the quality and frequency of his presents.
If she misses a birthday, the man would not be concerned about it. However forgetting a girlfriend/wife's birthday or anniversary would certainly create a category 6.

By what gross miscalculation in history did males achieve such a subordinate's position in the arena of courting? Is it because men think differently, are really only interested in physical satisfaction, and so is willing to wade through any amount of subservience to please the provider of such pleasure? Isn't it unfair that in a relationship anyone should try and live up to another's expectations?

Equality should reign in a relationship. After all, that's what feminists have been fighting for for all these years.

Last edited by Vub (2006-10-12 06:06:33)

2006-10-12 06:09:01

kr@cker: Bringin' Sexy Back!; +581|6540|Southeastern USA

the second point is what gets me the most, they want earrings and necklaces, yet call us materialistic for getting things you can actually use, like a flat screen or a big ass truck

2006-10-12 06:12:00

Bubbalo: The Lizzard; +541|6553

There's a lot of issues both ways. What's your point?

2006-10-12 06:15:57

Vub: The Power of Two; +188|6486|Sydney, Australia

My point is that there should be equality in a relationship.

And so many females now have this notion that it the man's role to etc etc that there's no escaping it. My feeling is that often it is the woman who shows up angry and the man who has to try and calm her and explain his actions.

2006-10-12 06:27:56

Darth_Fleder: Mod from the Church of the Painful Truth; +533|6798|Orlando, FL - Age 43

What's worse is after you finish the courtship and they bag you. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.

2006-10-12 06:31:42

Adams_BJ: Russian warship, go fuck yourself; +2,053|6614|Little Bentcock

Yes its true.

2006-10-12 07:04:30

Sambuccashake: Member; +126|6602|Sweden

The difference between man and women, the age old question.
Harken to my wisdom when I say:
Women are softer and smell nicer than men.

That's all you need to know. The rest CANNOT be understood.

2006-10-12 07:25:49

Stingray24: Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy; +1,060|6436|The Land of Scott Walker

kr@cker wrote:
the second point is what gets me the most, they want earrings and necklaces, yet call us materialistic for getting things you can actually use, like a flat screen or a big ass truck

AMEN! First, I drop 4K on her wedding ring (ok, that's cool, it's paid for). On 1st anniversary bought her a diamond pendant and she never wears it! But God forbid I want to upgrade my gaming rig! That's "a waste of money".

2006-10-12 07:48:49

S3v3N: lolwut?; +685|6509|Montucky

My wife whines and complains about myself not buying flowers for her.. she says its the thought that counts. I say its a waste of 20.00$ or more for me to buy you a bunch of pretty flowers that die off in a week or get destroyed by her cat. I think i'm a rational man but spending 20 bucks on something that gets eatin by the cat in a week just doesn't add up.. cat food is like 50 cents a can, I can't justify giving the cat a 20 dollar meal every month.

Next we'll tackle the subject of her car vs my truck.

Lets see I've owned my current truck since 1998, i've dumped alot of my hard earned money into it. Its 2006 almost 2007, so i've owned my baby for 8 going 9 years. I've been married to my wife for 4 years and known her for a previous 1 1/2 before marriage. She wonders why I have a stereo system, expensive tires, lift kit and all the other cool gadgets and shit but her car that we've owned for about 2 years has nothing spectacular about it. Why doesn't she understand right now currently with a young child, HER debt (for all of you that don't have a wife yet, make damn sure you have no credit cards or alteast don't give her access to the account) we can't accord all these wizzbang toys for her car, fancy diamond ear rings etc?

And the number one reason i'd like to place my bare hands around her throat is this, married men/near married men/men who've been in a relationship longer than a year can testify to this;

[me] "Whats wrong dear?"
[wife] "Nothing"
[me] "No, something is worng, what is it?"
[wife] "Nothing, don't worry about it"
[me] "okay" *acts like nothing is wrong and continues about my business*

later that night.

[wife] "You don't care about my feelings [amongst other things]
[me] "I asked you what was wrong, you said nothing, since nothing is wrong, i will act like nothing is wrong"
[wife] "*more babble and feelings related crap*"
[me] *a tumor in the form of my wife, sitting atop of my brain starts to sing, "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a Tumor, I'm a Tumor!"
[me] "I've got a headache"

.........................

Last edited by S3v3N (2006-10-12 07:49:10)

2006-10-12 07:54:38

samhornby: Bo'Selecta!; +14|6542

S3v3N wrote:
My wife whines and complains about myself not buying flowers for her.. she says its the thought that counts. I say its a waste of 20.00$ or more for me to buy you a bunch of pretty flowers that die off in a week or get destroyed by her cat. I think I'm a rational man but spending 20 bucks on something that gets eaten by the cat in a week just doesn't add up.. cat food is like 50 cents a can, I can't justify giving the cat a 20 dollar meal every month.

Next we'll tackle the subject of her car vs my truck.

Lets see I've owned my current truck since 1998, I've dumped alto of my hard earned money into it. Its 2006 almost 2007, so I've owned my baby for 8 going 9 years. I've been married to my wife for 4 years and known her for a previous 1 1/2 before marriage. She wonders why I have a stereo system, expensive tires, lift kit and all the other cool gadgets and shit but her car that we've owned for about 2 years has nothing spectacular about it. Why doesn't she understand right now currently with a young child, HER debt (for all of you that don't have a wife yet, make damn sure you have no credit cards or alteast don't give her access to the account) we can't accord all these wizzbang toys for her car, fancy diamond ear rings etc?

And the number one reason i'd like to place my bare hands around her throat is this, married men/near married men/men who've been in a relationship longer than a year can testify to this;

[me] "Whats wrong dear?"
[wife] "Nothing"
[me] "No, something is worng, what is it?"
[wife] "Nothing, don't worry about it"
[me] "okay" *acts like nothing is wrong and continues about my business*

later that night.

[wife] "You don't care about my feelings [amongst other things]
[me] "I asked you what was wrong, you said nothing, since nothing is wrong, i will act like nothing is wrong"
[wife] "*more babble and feelings related crap*"
[me] *a tumor in the form of my wife, sitting atop of my brain starts to sing, "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a Tumor, I'm a Tumor!"
[me] "I've got a headache"

.........................

Wow!

my last girlfriend did exactly the same thing with the "nothings wrong" crap..damn that gets annoying fast. Probably just another attention thing.

Last edited by samhornby (2006-10-12 07:55:28)

2006-10-12 08:01:59

kr@cker: Bringin' Sexy Back!; +581|6540|Southeastern USA

Darth_Fleder wrote:
What's worse is after you finish the courtship and they bag you. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.

she has no idea how much time you spend on here does she?

2006-10-12 08:06:48

SuperSlowYo: slow as you go; +124|6551|Canaduhhh.. West Toast

my phylosophy is simple... "men are stupid and women are nuts" ... no matter what we (men) can be expected to do something idiotic sooner or later and they (women) will respond in a totally unrealistic manner... those are my words of wisdom for the day folks

Edit: Darth i totally agree

Last edited by SuperSlowYo (2006-10-12 08:10:00)

2006-10-12 08:13:03

Darth_Fleder: Mod from the Church of the Painful Truth; +533|6798|Orlando, FL - Age 43

I wonder if the thought has ever occurred to anyone that for thousands of years prior to our 'enlightened' time that there was a much different system in place all over the world regarding the relationship between the genders. Perhaps our ancestors understood things a little more clearly than we do today. Today's 'liberated' woman is no more happy today than they were in the past...in fact it would seem just the opposite. Not a very politically correct or 'enlightened' thought...but true all the same.

LOL @ kr@cker's comment. It does cut considerably into the 'worship her' time.

2006-10-12 08:21:59

S3v3N: lolwut?; +685|6509|Montucky

Actually before American was colonized, the Natives would trade objects to the father of the bride for the rights of that woman.. somehow in today's society I couldn't trade 5 horses to my father-in-law for my current Wife. A simple fact its actually less expensive to maintain and train 5 horses than it is to maintain and train a Wife. Its kinda like trading a Work truck in for a Moped if you ask me.

2006-10-12 08:26:37

Go-Devil: Does a wild bear crap in the woods, son ????; +3|6441

But then again, in the Middle east the roles are turned, women do everything for their man. so......

on world scale there is equality.....

(NO, i'm not a woman !!)

2006-10-12 08:40:55

IRONCHEF: Member; +385|6482|Northern California

Vub, I think the general notion of equality today can be the results of femenism, workplace professionalism infiltrating the home, political correctness, and basic tolerance improvements in society. Both men and women are opening doors for each other, both can and often times are bread winners for their family, and both are even performing jobs once meant only for men. I'm guessing in another 20 years, it will have equalled out even more.

But the things you mention I think are largely due to traditional treatment of women by men. For some reason, femenists take offense when a man treats them as more than equal. They don't want to appear to be a weaker sex or some ridiculous thing. They'll take a little longer to adjust probably.

The parts you discuss about remembering special dates (or not remembering), all depends on what kind of girl you have. If she was brought up being taught that a "gentleman" who wishes to court or marry her should treat her like a princess. And hopefully men have the courtesey of granting her this traditional treatment. But because we (men) don't always think of girls as something other than a target or prize, or just because things don't occur to us...there will be let downs.

I guess the point I'm making is, maybe the conservative aspect (or traditional) of courting should prevail, but if it does, than it should be present in marriage too. And doing this does not mean you're not equal. If you're wife is expecting you to be prince charming AND be the decision maker (and you better make the right decision) then you're wife will need a talking too because she will not have understood marriage. If your girl is expecting you to be the only accountable one for all things, then she's not there to be married, she's there to be waited on and her selfish ideals need to end. All of this should be worked out in courting before marriage is committed too, in my opinion...or guess what will happen? You'll have cranky husbands like Al Bundy, and such fathers will have sons who likewise think that women suck, and marriage will be considered a "ball and chain" (as some mod in this thread eluded to) instead of what it is intended to be...endless bliss, happiness, and growth.

2006-10-12 08:57:29

PRINCESS: the evil is pure; +23|6529|scotland

kr@cker wrote:
the second point is what gets me the most, they want earrings and necklaces, yet call us materialistic for getting things you can actually use, like a flat screen or a big ass truck

you can buy me a HUGE flat screen tv and a truck anyday of the week i hate earrings, necklaces etc etc etc

2006-10-12 08:59:23

kr@cker: Bringin' Sexy Back!; +581|6540|Southeastern USA

hell yeah for scott chicks!!!!

edit: do ya mud wrestle too!?!

i'm tempted to flirt, but then there's this
http://forums.bf2s.com/viewtopic.php?id=48249

Last edited by kr@cker (2006-10-12 09:12:04)

2006-10-12 09:19:01

Darth_Fleder: Mod from the Church of the Painful Truth; +533|6798|Orlando, FL - Age 43

IRONCHEF wrote:
instead of what it is intended to be...endless bliss, happiness, and growth.

Are you married IRONCHEF?

Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, 15th, 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries:
5th: 82%
10th: 65%
15th: 52%
25th: 33%
35th: 20%
50th: 5%
http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

LOL [email protected] was thinking the same thing

2006-10-12 09:22:55

IRONCHEF: Member; +385|6482|Northern California

Happily married but only 7 years in with 3 kids.

2006-10-12 09:27:16

S3v3N: lolwut?; +685|6509|Montucky

IRONCHEF wrote:
Happily married but only 7 years in with 3 kids.

3 kidlets.. how'd you manage?

I've got one, he's 11 months old, please tell me it gets better..

2006-10-12 09:32:16

IRONCHEF: Member; +385|6482|Northern California

One child is a huge difference. Two children is not much more difficult, but a third..being outnumbered, is harder. harder to go shopping with, dining out with, etc.

Kids are insanely fun and gratifying (pun intended). However, I have very, very good kids. They still act like little kids, and they are just as moody as most 1, 3, and 5 year olds, but the simple joys of having them (especially seeing them sleep at night) easily counter the hard times. Not all kids are easy which is why I'm very grateful to have great kids..probably from having a great mom who is with them all day.

But on topic... My children will be trained in both traditional ways of respecting opposite sex, elders, and they will also know that it is probably not going to be excepted by some of the opposite sex who don't abide traditional behaviors.

Last edited by IRONCHEF (2006-10-12 09:33:29)

2006-10-12 09:33:08

PuckMercury: 6 x 9 = 42; +298|6518|Portland, OR USA

I'll lead in with one a quote I enjoy, "Women need to realize that when they stand up for their rights, they can lose their seat."

That being said, I think our mating dance of today is simply a "modern" extension of the way it has always been. As the males predominantly have the sex drive, which is the ostensible purpose of marriage on one hand, they are driven to realize the mating. As women were traditionally viewed as weaker and inferior, what would they possibly have to offer? It was up to the men to compete in some fashion for the woman. To a degree, it still is. Now rather than killing eachother (usually) we like to think ourselves evolved in that we buy gifts, yadda yadda yadda.

That being said, I don't entirely subscribe to all that in today's society. I'm all about chivalry and openning doors, not as a sign that the woman is unable, but simply a basic gesture of respect. But I expect equality in the give and take in a relationship. It need not be in a tit for tat level, but on a macroscopic scale. I do A B C, you do X Y Z. Different, but equal so to speak ... despite how well that worked with segregation.

I think the imbalance is a function of the unspoken seeded belief in society that women are the weaker sex, therefore a man should offer and do more since he is capable of more. So the belief goes.

2006-10-12 09:33:27

semerkhet83: Member; +1|6491|Four Marks, UK

well, i'v only just got married this year, but i was able to include a £1700 upgrade for my rig in the loan we got for the wedding, and the wife didn't mind.

2006-10-12 09:38:46

kr@cker: Bringin' Sexy Back!; +581|6540|Southeastern USA

semerkhet83 wrote:
well, i'v only just got married this year, but i was able to include a £1700 upgrade for my rig in the loan we got for the wedding, and the wife didn't mind.

she's keeping that in her back pocket, one day, one day when you least expect it, it may even be years from now, she'll bring it up, and you're off to the jewelry store

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kr@cker wrote:

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Darth_Fleder wrote:

kr@cker wrote:

IRONCHEF wrote:

IRONCHEF wrote:

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