Best best joke

2010-07-27 10:06:46

#726

PrivateVendetta: I DEMAND XMAS THEME; +704|6199|Roma

FloppY_ wrote:
jay_courage wrote:
Fernando Alonso walked into a library and asked if they had any books on winning races in red cars.
The librarian replied, "Certainly sir, just wait there and I'll gift wrap it for you."
F1 joke?

I don't get it

The only race he's won this season has been when Ferrari ordered Massa to let Alonso overtake him, AFAIK

https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/29388/stopped%20scrolling%21.png

2010-07-27 10:23:25

#727

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

PrivateVendetta wrote:
FloppY_ wrote:
jay_courage wrote:
Fernando Alonso walked into a library and asked if they had any books on winning races in red cars.
The librarian replied, "Certainly sir, just wait there and I'll gift wrap it for you."
F1 joke?

I don't get it
The only race he's won this season has been when Ferrari ordered Massa to let Alonso overtake him, AFAIK

Sorry floppy, how about this one

Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory."

Peter came fifth and won a toaster.

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-07-27 10:30:00

#728

FloppY_: +1,010|6294|Denmark aka Automotive Hell

jay_courage wrote:
PrivateVendetta wrote:
FloppY_ wrote:
F1 joke?

I don't get it
The only race he's won this season has been when Ferrari ordered Massa to let Alonso overtake him, AFAIK
Sorry floppy, how about this one

Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory."

Peter came fifth and won a toaster.

...
Hmm,,
...
...
...
Nope, ain't got shit
Spoiler (highlight to read):
Sure forth = fourth etc... but is that supposed to be funny?

Last edited by FloppY_ (2010-07-27 10:30:42)

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me

2010-07-27 10:36:44

#729

PrivateVendetta: I DEMAND XMAS THEME; +704|6199|Roma

I thought it was amusing

2010-07-27 10:48:12

#730

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

Ok floppy, what about this?

A Guy sits down at a bar and a bowl of peanuts say to him "You look very nice this evening".

The guy goes to the bathroom and the condom machines says "You look like shit mother fucker".

So the guy complains to the bar manager, and he says in reply:

"The peanuts are complimentary, but the condom machine is out of order"

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-07-27 11:09:58

#731

Finray: Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro; +2,629|5796|Catherine Black

Don't try to make Floppy understand anything it's widely know he's quite retarded.

2010-07-27 12:29:53

#732

FloppY_: +1,010|6294|Denmark aka Automotive Hell

jay_courage wrote:
Ok floppy, what about this?

A Guy sits down at a bar and a bowl of peanuts say to him "You look very nice this evening".

The guy goes to the bathroom and the condom machines says "You look like shit mother fucker".

So the guy complains to the bar manager, and he says in reply:

"The peanuts are complimentary, but the condom machine is out of order"

"Har Har"

srsly, belongs in best worst joke thread

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me

2010-07-27 12:54:33

#733

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

Ok Mr funny man, this ones just for you

I feel empty inside, like part of my soul has been torn out. Every time I think of you, I still feel the pain of how you left me.

That was one hell of a shit.

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-07-29 07:47:19

#734

ROGUEDD: BF2s. A Liberal Gang of Faggots.; +452|5397|Fuck this.

So an Irishman walks out of a bar...

Make X-meds a full member, for the sake of 15 year old anal gangbang porn watchers everywhere!

2010-07-29 07:59:05

#735

SplinterStrike: Roamer; +250|6419|Eskimo land. AKA Canada.

ROGUEDD wrote:
So an Irishman walks out of a bar...

That's not true.

2010-07-29 08:55:21

#736

Metal-Eater-GR: I can haz titanium paancakez?; +490|6281

how is it not true? once they enter they can't get out?

2010-07-29 11:16:40

#737

PrivateVendetta: I DEMAND XMAS THEME; +704|6199|Roma

They never walk out. They stagger.

Last edited by PrivateVendetta (2010-07-29 11:16:57)

2010-07-29 14:27:35

#738

SplinterStrike: Roamer; +250|6419|Eskimo land. AKA Canada.

PrivateVendetta wrote:
They never walk out. They stagger.

Or are carried

2010-07-30 03:58:19

#739

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

Got a text message the other day from an unknown number which read:

"Your mums sucked my cock..."

Shortly followed by another text from the same number:

"This is my new number. love dad."

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-07-30 04:05:51

#740

AussieReaper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°); +5,761|6161|what

Check out the page source of North Korea's official web page Of The People.

http://www.korea-dpr.com/

*warning not the best, and not a joke

2010-07-30 04:14:44

#741

Finray: Hup! Dos, Tres, Cuatro; +2,629|5796|Catherine Black

I found an easter egg.

2010-07-30 05:16:05

#742

FloppY_: +1,010|6294|Denmark aka Automotive Hell

jay_courage wrote:
Got a text message the other day from an unknown number which read:

"Your mums sucked my cock..."

Shortly followed by another text from the same number:

"This is my new number. love dad."

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me

2010-07-30 05:44:21

#743

Ty: Mass Media Casualty; +2,398|6783|Noizyland

Hell, has anyone read the "reunification" page of the DPRK's site? Holy batshit-crazy Batman!

Actually, fuck it, the whole page is batshit crazy. To think there's an entire country brainwashed by that shit...

[Blinking eyes thing]
Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/tzyon

2010-07-31 07:50:39

#744

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

I was going through airport customs and I got asked "Do you have any firearms?"

Apparently, "What do you need?" wasn't the right answer.

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-07-31 08:20:26

#745

jay_courage: Alive in a sea of mediocre; +131|5967|Carnoustie

Classic

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?

Ones shaking a fist...

------------

My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word 'cunt'.

I suppose she's got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother's real name.

Last edited by jay_courage (2010-08-02 11:19:11)

I Friggin Love The Nhs

2010-08-03 05:49:44

#746

Eifa: Never regret anything that ever made you smile.; +923|5879|00770

So, a banana and a dildo were sitting on a nightstand, when the banana said:
"The fuck are you shaking for? I'm the one who's going to be eaten you dick."

No, I don't need an attitude adjustment. You just need to fuck off.

2010-08-03 12:13:09

#747

Dookie0119: Member; +43|5786

A friendly German, a brave Frenchman, a slim American, a unique Chinaman and an Englishman with a massive cock walk into a bar and a Jew says, "Drinks are on me."

-------------------------------------

My wife said that she's going to leave me.

But before she does, she is going to make sure that my bank balance is £0.

That's nice of her, paying off my overdraft.

2010-08-03 23:50:12

#748

FloppY_: +1,010|6294|Denmark aka Automotive Hell

Dookie0119 wrote:
My wife said that she's going to leave me.

But before she does, she is going to make sure that my bank balance is £0.

That's nice of her, paying off my overdraft.

Your thoughts, insights, and musings on this matter intrigue me

2010-08-04 17:32:47

#749

DesertFox-: The very model of a modern major general; +794|6693|United States of America

Eifa wrote:
So, a banana and a dildo were sitting on a nightstand, when the banana said:
"The fuck are you shaking for? I'm the one who's going to be eaten you dick."

Does this joke insinuate that a "dildo" and "vibrator" are interchangeable terms?

2010-08-04 20:54:45

#750

Reciprocity: Member; +721|6589|the dank(super) side of Oregon

...it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo...

BF2S Forums Best best joke

FloppY_ wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

PrivateVendetta wrote:

FloppY_ wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

PrivateVendetta wrote:

FloppY_ wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

ROGUEDD wrote:

PrivateVendetta wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

Dookie0119 wrote:

Eifa wrote:

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