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uziq
Member
+492|2999
i see a lot of old guys crying here outside the mural. non-related. collective feeling really is that strong. i wasn’t kidding when i said the atmosphere was funereal. they are ultra protective over their kids here, especially since the sewol ferry disaster (which this feels like an awful sequel to: any survivors of the ferry disaster would have been just old enough to die in this crush: wow).

after a week checking on everyone, and lots of stress, everyone is accounted for. korean privacy laws are such that they won’t release a list of the dead unless family explicitly give permission. a sound policy, but when your entire social life revolves around this square kilometre, it’s been testing to say the least. i’ve spent most days this last week in bed. (i took a hike today and finally started to put distance on it.)

a girl i dated a few weeks ago was there. she was the last person to respond to me. she was right there. i feared she would be (it was the exact spot i first met her). she said she was on the outdoor terrace next to the crowd and watched people being crushed to death, metres away. this girl is 24 years old. barely out or college. she didn’t know it at the time; but one of the deceased is her close friend. just unimaginable.

Last edited by uziq (2022-11-05 07:56:35)

unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

It's always an especial, collective slap in the face when this sort of thing happens at what's supposed to be a fun time for all. It's hard for me to even fathom how I'd be feeling right now if my presence was the trigger, or I was an organizer, or a member of responsible government. Let alone if I'd lost or might have lost friends and had to wait days to find out who is still alive. Unthinkable.

All my empathy to the town, really.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
I think Wednesday the Chinese girl is going to sit me down and ask "what do you want from this relationship?" What do I say?
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

If it were me, I'd just be honest. But it's not me.

You've been honest with her, right?
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

https://i.imgur.com/3gUfRPm.jpg
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
I want to have a relationship but I want to see people on the side too. I need to figure out how to pitch that to her.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
RTHKI
mmmf mmmf mmmf
+1,728|6284|Oxferd Ohire
Don't
https://i.imgur.com/tMvdWFG.png
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
But I enjoy being in a relationship with her. I choose her over other girls already.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

The problem with you cultivating a troll persona here almost old enough to vote is it's hard to tell sometimes if you're being straightforward when fishing for advice. I dunno, dating two people at once is a foreign concept to me. You act like you're experienced with it but still have to ask a dead forum of other 30+yos what your next step should be.

Just tell her what you're looking for in a relationship I guess, and if it's not what you guys want you can go your separate ways with minimal heartbreak. Misleading her, or continuing to mislead her, seems like it would only make things worse. Maybe work this out before she brings it up herself.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
The thing is: I don't want to date more than one person. I want to date only the Chinese girl. I have neither the desire nor the energy to date more people.

This is a major emotional/maturity breakthrough. I just want to be with one person but I also want the fulfillment of having many sexual partners while I am healthy/free enough to get them. But the emotional part of it I want solely with the Chinese girl.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
RTHKI
mmmf mmmf mmmf
+1,728|6284|Oxferd Ohire
Become a swinger
https://i.imgur.com/tMvdWFG.png
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
I unironically want that.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

So, separating sex from emotion (yike), you just want to go steady to the definitional letter but not its spirit? Is she the kind of woman up for being courted by that kind of degenerate?

Email your e-therapist, maybe.
uziq
Member
+492|2999

SuperJail Warden wrote:

This is a major emotional/maturity breakthrough.
realising that you want both emotional support and stability and to fuck around and follow your lust wherever it wends is a 'breakthrough' to you?

my guy, this is interpersonal relationships #101. as far as 'conventional', norms-based relationships go, this is like trying to square a circle. they are incompatible wants. sleeping around and having multiple sexual partners is the single bachelor life; the deeper satisfactions of emotional companionship, stability, support, etc, are why people split off into couple units. that's how it works and has worked for 95% of people in this little civilizational set-up we've got going on here.

you can find people who live 'alternative' or 'experimental' lifestyles, polyamorists in their polycules and swingers and ultra-modern enlightened open relationship'ers, and so on, but they are still far from the norm and i think they have to put in a lot of work, explicit and implicit, to stop those arrangements from badly falling foul of said norms-based pressures.

there's pretty sound reasons for long-term partners being not-okay with fucking around at the same time. sexual health, for one. how are you going to maintain a loving and supportive relationship when you've given your life partner crabs or HPV from a casual dalliance? and don't pretend that wearing a condom is going to give you 100% protection in these forays, either.

it's not impossible, as i've said before, but presenting this as a 'major emotional breakthrough' is frankly hilarious. if this is a psychological breakthrough, it's very much of a freudian infant development type: you're in the oral phase, wanting to consume everything you see. most people who pair off in relationships accept that they have to repress and discipline those infinite appetites. you haven’t come to some special insight about your personality macbeth: every person in a relationship is daily sexually attracted to other people they see. putting a lid on it and exercising self-control is what adult’ing is.

Last edited by uziq (2022-11-14 23:45:59)

Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,797|5653|eXtreme to the maX

uziq wrote:

i see a lot of old guys crying here outside the mural. non-related. collective feeling really is that strong. i wasn’t kidding when i said the atmosphere was funereal. they are ultra protective over their kids here, especially since the sewol ferry disaster (which this feels like an awful sequel to: any survivors of the ferry disaster would have been just old enough to die in this crush: wow).

after a week checking on everyone, and lots of stress, everyone is accounted for. korean privacy laws are such that they won’t release a list of the dead unless family explicitly give permission. a sound policy, but when your entire social life revolves around this square kilometre, it’s been testing to say the least. i’ve spent most days this last week in bed. (i took a hike today and finally started to put distance on it.)

a girl i dated a few weeks ago was there. she was the last person to respond to me. she was right there. i feared she would be (it was the exact spot i first met her). she said she was on the outdoor terrace next to the crowd and watched people being crushed to death, metres away. this girl is 24 years old. barely out or college. she didn’t know it at the time; but one of the deceased is her close friend. just unimaginable.
So, to summarise:

uziq: People dying is really bad, it could literally have been someone I know, the govt has to do something, and the vibe of this place has really gone downhill, Thailand?

uziq: People die all the time, do you know how many people die of flu every year? People need to not worry about it and get on with their lives.
Русский военный корабль, иди на хуй!
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

Are we still on about this?
uziq
Member
+492|2999
dilbert is obsessed with my life and i'm not even trashing $44bn global companies in the public eye. it's cute.

no, my crime was being shocked and upset at a major tragedy on my doorstep. i am a huge moral hypocrite because i got a visa during a pandemic!

apparently being shocked at a mass death event is incompatible with dutifully following common guidelines on covid.

where did i ever say i was moving to thailand because 'the vibe has gone downhill'? i was living on the doorstep of a giant funeral mural and my lease was up for renewal literally 1.5 weeks after the tragedy. it was a no brainer to move away from that environment. i couldn't work there or go shopping there. it was quite literally traumatic for me and all of my friends here. it hasn't been a fun few weeks. people are very solemn and not at all thinking about 'moving to the next party zone'.

it's my last few months in korea and i always had plans to move back, full circle, to my first neighbourhood. i would have done so in november/december, regardless. i'm not going to apologise to a fucking live at home goober about any of my life choices, hahah. eat my dick, loser boy.
uziq
Member
+492|2999
the craziest thing in all this, with my apparent disregard for human life and my high-risk, selfish lifestyle ... is i've never had fucking covid. dilbert has had covid. i've been through measurable months of self-quarantine, not at home with mummy and daddy for company, but literally alone in total self-isolation ... i've been tested dozens of times at the behest of multiple govts and their public health systems ... i've dutifully got my boosters as and when they're available, and encouraged others to do so ...

and i'm being criticised by someone who has had covid, who has been out in the community with covid, who has spread suspicion and distrust about vaccines. but i'm the one who is a danger to the public, and who needs to feel guilty about death statistics? L M A O i've never even contributed to the daily case numbers in korea you fucking self-righteous idiot.

Last edited by uziq (2022-11-15 08:31:51)

SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
I really don't want children. The whole idea of finding a life partner to settle down with kids...yuck.

I didn't have sex with a girl I had a chance to recently since I didn't want to risk knocking her up. Yes, I still wrote about the other stuff we did but I never penetrated her. I am aware condoms exist but I don't trust my life's future to a piece of latex and a girl I have known less than a week.

...

What made me write all that is the reading the front page articles about abortion in National Review. It blows my mind that there are men out there who want this lifestyle.
https://i.redd.it/21jtf1jkxsz91.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+492|2999
nobody mentioned having kids or starting a family. i’m talking about the basic tension inherent to all coupling and relationships: between stability/commitment and wanting to chase after every person that appeals to you sexually. do you really think the women who are proposing relationships with you stop feeling lust and attraction to other men? come on, this is the most basic act of self-denial/discipline intrinsic to building all successful relationships. this isn’t a ‘major psychological breakthrough’ you’ve had.

you kind of come across like the high-school valedictorian who has just got laid for the first time and wants to put his dick in everything. that would be funny and cute; but aren’t you nearing 35? this breathlessness and overwhelming desire to ‘prove yourself’ by getting all those notches on your bedpost seems, i don’t know … a little bit pathetic at this age? sleeping around by itself isn’t sad, per se; but there is something a little alarming in the way you phrase it: “i want deep commitment but i also still need to sleep with as many women as possible”. if you want deep companionship and enjoy spending your time around one person, perhaps ask yourself just what hole it is you’re trying to fill inside yourself with all the one night stands?

anyway. this will be of interest to you, as a polyamory-inclined young man.

https://futurism.com/caroline-ellison-a … lr-account

here’s a fun sideshow about this crypto FTX meltdown. i’ve been reading a lot about the weird kooky ideology that permeates these silicon valley/crypto/tech-libertarian circles. a lot of it was ennobled with some nebulous concept of ‘Effective Altruism’. like longtermism, another fad non-philosophy on the lips of a bunch of sociopathic tech bros (read: it’s important to let us maladapt nerds with immense fortunes do exactly what we want now, as it will benefit humanity in 1000s of years when we are an intergalactic empire), this stuff really is a priceless mixture of idiotic thinking, snake oil charlatanism … and solar masses of cringe.

so basically the FTX exchange’s owner was living in a giant polycule with a bunch of other sweatlord engineers from MIT in the bahamas. sharing around some of the ugliest women i have ever seen in my entire adult life. and they’re all high on their own supply of this pseudo-scientific, ‘rationalist’ claptrap about mating. it’s weird how these nerds, from elon musk and his birthrate boosting, to dilbert and his quack theories, are so unhealthily obsessed with sex and human hierarchy, isn’t it? and even with all the money in the world, when they should be hanging out and having the time of their lives, there’s always some furrowing of the brow going on about how they’re going to ‘save the species’ (meaning people like them), with extremely whiffy eugenics in the mix. why are these people like this? even when they’re living in a tropical paradise and stealing billions of dollars to fund their lifestyles, they’re still writing manifestos about how all the world’s poor need to die and how sexual hierarchies supposedly work.

https://web.archive.org/web/20190417234 … com/page/2

‘world optimisation blog: attractive traits in a man’. omg lol. WHY are these people like this?!

the last 15 years the acceptance of nerds has really got out of hand. from comedy sitcoms to comic book franchises, the nerd has become too stronk!!!! as an archetype. these people are all deeply emotionally damaged, scarred even.

Last edited by uziq (2022-11-15 15:41:57)

SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
So I should invest in cryptocurrency?
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+492|2999
give crystal meth a little try whilst you're at it.
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,023|6319|USA

https://web.archive.org/web/20190417234 … com/page/2
what…am I reading
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+609|3267
She seems cool. Maybe you should lighten up and buy some Bitcoin.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+492|2999
she's easily one of the ugliest people i have ever seen and her belief system is hideousness to match.

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