Dauntless
Admin
+2,245|6172|London

uziq wrote:

if you're in the arguing and bickering death spiral for longer than 6 months then, yeah, really time to call last orders.

what happened to taken girl, then?
I told her to get in touch if she's ever available. Turns out the guy has a kid from another relationship and she doesn't get on very well with him. Not sure how long they've been together but I can't imagine she thinks it would be a long term thing.

I have a feeling she might message me in the next few weeks but I'm now back on Hinge and Tinder after a 4 year gap (apart from a brief usage in NYC a few months ago) and am having a great time.
Credit to my ex, she always forced me to take photos when I didn't want to but they're really coming in handy now.
https://imgur.com/kXTNQ8D.png
uziq
Member
+476|2882
lol. i always feel a little bit bad using photos taken by exes/ex-flames on dating apps. seems like a unique type of parr to me.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
Dating apps are really something. So many choices living in the NYC area. If a weasel looking dude like me has Asian girls falling out of the trees, I can imagine what somebody with a square jaw and body builder physique can do.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+476|2882
the dating app algorithms tend to quietly bracket you off with people who are at your level of desirability over time.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
I use Facebook dating. It sorts people by interest, hobbies, jobs, location data, etc. If I go to a concert for example, it will also serve up profiles of people who went to various events if I click on that tab. It is actually an impressive use of their data collection. I highly recommend it over Tinder. I have never used Hinge before but I see people complain about it.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
Dauntless
Admin
+2,245|6172|London

uziq wrote:

lol. i always feel a little bit bad using photos taken by exes/ex-flames on dating apps. seems like a unique type of parr to me.
Yeah I do too kinda, but fuck it.... I'm only using the ones with me solo, I'm not doing the crop out her face technique lol
https://imgur.com/kXTNQ8D.png
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
I am proud of you both for not having a kid and settling down. I find it gross and off-putting whenever I see somebody my age start a family with someone. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life stuck with just one person?
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+476|2882
i’m happy to settle down and do that, just at a better time and place. right now i’m enjoying the freedoms and perqs of having worked hard and got to a certain position in my career. why would i want to burden myself with a kid when i’m just finally in a place to enjoy full-time freelance? all that stuff can wait.

you can glut yourself on dating and one night stands. when i was meeting with 4-5 people a week it had its own varieties of boredom.

Last edited by uziq (2022-09-19 11:59:11)

SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
It is like a job. A lot of work going through the script, keeping up text conversations, remembering all of the different personal details. It is one of the reasons why I entered therapy.

I was unhappy that I couldn't be with the (idealized version) girl I wanted to be with so I made up for it by taking everything I could over the summer. When I couldn't keep up with the return from work + juggling all of the women + grad school I started to stress and realized I was going to crash out.

The boredom part is real. I realized some days I would spend all day home from work in bed just texting a few people. Literally nothing else.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+1,998|6202|USA

Mac, not too long ago you were literally on people's backs here who didn't have kids. Make up your mind.

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I went on two dates with a girl who said she is "celibate for 7 years" and she feels "pure". I stopped talking to her after the second date because it is really too much of a time sink for nothing in return.

If you bring nothing special to the table, and have baggage, then you shouldn't also expect a guy to go through 6 dates with you before you kiss or whatever other nonsense some women expect. The only guys who will put up with that are the most desperate.
Why did you even go? I thought your whole thing was trophy collecting.

What a side note to the grumbling men of Korea and America nostalgic for past years, anyway. "She doesn't put out."

Yikes.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

Mac, not too long ago you were literally on people's backs here who didn't have kids. Make up your mind.

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I went on two dates with a girl who said she is "celibate for 7 years" and she feels "pure". I stopped talking to her after the second date because it is really too much of a time sink for nothing in return.

If you bring nothing special to the table, and have baggage, then you shouldn't also expect a guy to go through 6 dates with you before you kiss or whatever other nonsense some women expect. The only guys who will put up with that are the most desperate.
Why did you even go? I thought your whole thing was trophy collecting.

What a side note to the grumbling men of Korea and America nostalgic for past years, anyway. "She doesn't put out."

Yikes.
She didn't hit me with "I am celibate" until after the first date. We made out a bit the first date. Even though I knew she was celibate I thought after the first date make out I could eventually crack that nut but she was frigid the 2nd date. And after that I stopped caring.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+1,998|6202|USA

Maybe she'll find a guy who doesn't really care for that end of things, but it still feels gross hearing people talking in the negative about someone because "they didn't 'put out' even after a second date." Like, bruh.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

Maybe she'll find a guy who doesn't really care for that end of things, but it still feels gross hearing people talking in the negative about someone because "they didn't 'put out' even after a second date." Like, bruh.
I am sure there exist some guy who is willing to wait around for her to change but like I said, only the most desperate. And desperate dudes are usually damaged goods.

Her expectations need readjustment. (Same shit somebody would tell an incel dude and be applauded for "keeping it real." )

A guy with good looks and a lot of great stuff going on is going to have options. They will not wait on one person to come around. I still spend a ton of time, money, and attention on the Chinese girl because every time we hang out she makes it worth it for me. She didn't make me wait like an asshole.

...

You never talk about girls. Are you seeing anyone? Maybe the office bicycle?
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+476|2882
it’s really a woman’s choice when she wants to have sex for the first time in a new relationship.

you talk about good looking guys ‘having options’ but you neglect to mention that all dating apps are like 80:20 male:female in users, at best. i think tinder at this point is like 90:10, though they keep accurate stats under wraps for obvious reasons.

a beautiful top-tier woman on a dating app has the pick of the lot. far more power to pick and choose than any thirsty guy who expects sex on the first or second date. you might have to modify your own expectations there.

i do have sympathies with anyone trying to find a meaningful life partner on a dating app. it’s real moon shot stuff. it can happen but the apps seem to almost actively work against it. it’s not really even in their own algorithm’s interest to immediately link you with someone who will be your life partner. that means you stop using the app.

Last edited by uziq (2022-09-19 14:15:43)

unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+1,998|6202|USA

I can't honestly say that I've ever dated out of any of my workplaces, mac, no. Seems to me like mixing work or work relationships with your love life is just asking for stress and trouble.

Would say that if work is the only pool someone has to select from, they're doing something wrong.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150

uziq wrote:

it’s really a woman’s choice when she wants to have sex for the first time in a new relationship.

you talk about good looking guys ‘having options’ but you neglect to mention that all dating apps are like 80:20 male:female in users, at best. i think tinder at this point is like 90:10, though they keep accurate stats under wraps for obvious reasons.

a beautiful top-tier woman on a dating app has the pick of the lot. far more power to pick and choose than any thirsty guy who expects sex on the first or second date. you might have to modify your own expectations there.

i do have sympathies with anyone trying to find a meaningful life partner on a dating app. it’s real moon shot stuff. it can happen but the apps seem to almost actively work against it. it’s not really even in their own algorithm’s interest to immediately link you with someone who will be your life partner. that means you stop using the app.
This girl has a bad attitude/personality too. Equal parts needy, and entitled. Bad personality, celibacy, and other baggage all coalescing into one. I am open about the fact I can be a shitty person. I think I can recognize at least one basket case.

...

I know women deal with a lot of bad shit. The girls I am with tell me some of the shit they have to deal with which is one reason why I think I do so well with the apps. I am not a misogynists nor do I have a stake in the gender wars or engage with manosphere stuff. Strongly dismissive of that stuff.

I'm just saying that somebody who goes onto dating apps looking for a guy be their footstool while not making it worth the guy's time needs an attitude readjustment. I'm not a 9/10 either. I know I need to put in the effort to make myself an attractive person to be with. It is not impossible that I came across a toxic person who needs to do some work and make some adjustments too.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+1,998|6202|USA

Stuff like "does she put out?" and pressing people for Trumpian locker-room talk is at least adjacent to manosphere-types. I mean, not that sex isn't among reasonable expectations for a casual couple in 2022, but if the other party isn't into it maybe move on and don't make it a part of your online narrative.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
You are right. I will instead tell the therapist how I feel.
https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/man-talking-problems-therapist-horizontal-47304649.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
uziq
Member
+476|2882
you can always just … swipe left on any girls who state that they’re looking for serious & committed only. i wouldn’t even pause on a girl’s profile who self-declared as celibate for longer than 3 seconds. clear lifestyle mismatch.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
That's the thing. I didn't find out until after the 1st date and making out.

I am also looking for a long-term relationship.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+1,998|6202|USA

Eventually some future girlfriend of yours will ask you why you're hiding in the supermarket freezer from a random soldier.
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
I sometimes hope that I just get a little beat up and get it over with. I also thought of what to say to the soldier. He did try to add me to Facebook last Christmas. That was strange.

"She cheated on me too. I am also a victim. I am sorry."
https://c.tenor.com/AHKt_toduBQAAAAC/im-the-real-hero-homelander.gif
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
Even though the soldier wife is currently with a new guy (that she cheated on with me after taking this picture)

every so often I gas her up by sending her "thinking of you. Hope you are doing well." messages on Facebook messenger.


"Send me that picture"
"Don't post it to Facebook"
"I won't"
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg
Dauntless
Admin
+2,245|6172|London

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I use Facebook dating. It sorts people by interest, hobbies, jobs, location data, etc. If I go to a concert for example, it will also serve up profiles of people who went to various events if I click on that tab. It is actually an impressive use of their data collection. I highly recommend it over Tinder. I have never used Hinge before but I see people complain about it.
Interesting, I don't have FB though.

I find Hinge is pretty good for matches but the conversations are a lot slower than on tinder, I'm also not getting notifications when I get a match or message which is pretty annoying.
https://imgur.com/kXTNQ8D.png
SuperJail Warden
Gone Forever
+591|3150
I never did well with Tinder but maybe I can give it another try sometime.
https://i.imgur.com/xsoGn9X.jpg

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