BF2S Forums The BF2s girl-problems thread

Stop bullying uziq

its just business with asian characteristics.

I read something in the NYT about how anti-feminism is a big political thing in South Korea at the moment. In the U.S. Asian men are usually stereotyped as effeminate and weak. I don't think becoming anti-feminist will turn that around.

SuperJail Warden wrote:

I read something in the NYT about how anti-feminism is a big political thing in South Korea at the moment. In the U.S. Asian men are usually stereotyped as effeminate and weak. I don't think becoming anti-feminist will turn that around.

they all do military service and are pretty ripped. gym going is much more popular here than in the states. height is also very prized here - you’d be surprised at the size of the average korean guy. much taller than japanese and chinese.

america seems to equate masculinity with being overweight or a bellicose asshole. korean dudes have no problem with a bit of vanity or grooming.

i guess you could make the argument in a lot of different ways. korean guys feel hard done by after getting hazed in the military and then having to hear women tell them they’re the worst thing ever. but it’s not like koreans commit mass shootings or have terrorism-grade incels, like america does. that seems like pretty weak behaviour to me.

uziq wrote:

but it’s not like koreans commit mass shootings or have terrorism-grade incels, like america does. that seems like pretty weak behaviour to me.

If they had easy access to firearms, there would be mass shootings there too. Same with China and Japan or anywhere else really. The suicide rates of East Asia lead me to believe they haven't cracked the code on mental wellbeing.

uziq wrote:

they all do military service and are pretty ripped.

I thought the majority of Korean men formed K-Pop bands to get a waiver.

Dilbert_X wrote:

uziq wrote:

they all do military service and are pretty ripped.

I thought the majority of Korean men formed K-Pop bands to get a waiver.

there is no waiver and that debate has applied to about 6 people in the entirety of the population, that is. the one k-pop band who have been dragged around the world with official diplomatic missions, sometimes even accompanying the actual president. 

your average 22 year old korean male could probably kick the ass of a macbeth or you and me. an average 20-something israeli too, incidentally.

uncomfortable facts for losers who are curiously obsessed with ‘muh masculinity’.

Last edited by uziq (2022-09-19 07:00:58)

I am not interested in competing in misery Olympics with East Asians. They can keep their mandatory military service and hyper competitive work life.

It sounds like their anti-feminism comes the same "woe is me" well American guys get it from. Frankly, I think they pity themselves.

FWIW, I am sleeping with a Chinese girl. She doesn't like dating Asian guys because "they are too old fashioned and controlling." I have heard the same from other Asian and Arab girls who also didn't like dating their own ethnic group.

I am not sure what is going on there but it sounds like those guys fetishize "their own" women. Like the dudes expect to live out whatever is their culture's equivalent of Leave it to Beaver. And it doesn't work like that in the U.S.

The new lunch lady in the teacher lounge blew up on the good looking male supervisor teacher who goes around dressed down, flirts with the lady teachers, and barely works. The guy is an inspiration. The lunch lady straight up  told him "you won't do that 'up in my face' thing you do with those other teachers. I got brothers, nephews, and sons. I know what you do and you won't do that with me. Guy tries to do that with me and we can take it to the office and see."

Yikes. Avoiding situations like this is why I am in therapy.

i don't mean it uncharitably. i just mean, yeah, your mileage may vary.

mostly i was just responding to cybargs that (a) yeah these societies are still basically 1950s in terms of gender relations and are very patriarchal.

in terms of what that means, i was arguing against the idea that asian men are (b) relatively effeminate and weak compared to american men. that is just pretty much a racist trope. far more racist than what i was saying about their (objectively and measurably verifiable) gender relations. in terms of comparing masculinity, i would say the country with mandatory and quite serious military service probably isn't all that soft. korean male average height is all of 1 inch below american male average height; and i don't think you want to compare the health and obesity stats. as i said, it's just a racist trope that asian men are small and weak. like it's a trope that american males carry beer bellies and don't know how to buy a pair of trousers that fit them.

i was just generally replying to your 'i date a chinese girl, she doesn't like chinese men' anecdote with a counterfactual that, really, for every person like that who dates outside their culture, there's probably 5 chinese girls who won't even look at you because you're not a high-status, rich chinese guy. these societies hum along just fine without needing 'white saviour' or 'american saviour'. one thing about conservative societies is that, if you're not the psychological type to kick back against the pricks, there's something quite comfortable and 'harmonious', even (to borrow a confucian idea) about everyone knowing their roles and expectations in advance. your average normie east asian girl is going to go along with the motions.

you said 'that isn't how we do things in america'. well, yeah. the demands of the group and collective come first here. family first and foremost above all. you can find 'modern' families with liberal and progressive views, normally upper-middle class ones who have been more exposed to international influences, primarily through their business dealings and careers. it's perfectly possible. i know a few guys out here who have married a local. but dealing with the in-laws is going to be a lot of work, and you're dealing with several decades of inertia when it comes to customs and ways of thinking. east asian societies don't necessarily have 'arranged marriages' in the south asian, indian mould but they do have a cultural tradition of family friends helping the kids to hook up and pair off in ways that seek the greatest advantage for all. i don't think even the most liberal families raise their small, 1–2 children family units with the future expectation that their darling prize child will move away to Podunk, NJ to live above a dentist's office. the american mantra of 'personal happiness', 'do what makes you happy', etc, doesn't apply here. that's precisely why their marriages involve so much adultery, regular visits to prostitutes, mistresses, etc. mostly they seek to settle down in ways that won't upset the apple cart and will keep everything in harmony with their families, work colleagues, peer group, etc., who are all exerting certain pressures, explicit or not, as to how their lives should ideally proceed (e.g. it's not uncommon for male office colleagues to start hectoring and encouraging a female colleague to get married off by age 28 or 30, according to some societally imposed 'rule' about what age one 'should' do these things by).

there isn't really sex tourism in korea or japan, for what it's worth. they are world top10 GDP countries that enjoy equal parity with westerners in many metrics. the locals are not impressed to see you because you're white or different. they're mostly extremely busy, extremely stressed-out, and dealing with their family and peer-group expectations. it's rare for a korean to even talk to or socialize with someone outside of their 'home' circle, that is, school friends. they're not going to come up to you in the street and think you're just the best thing ever because you're a white guy. it's not south-east asia. sex tourism applies in places like thailand or cambodia where the GDP is markedly lower and where any foreign tourist == a rich man by local standards. i am not a rich man by living in gangnam on $50k USD a year.

Last edited by uziq (2022-09-19 09:50:45)

if you're in the arguing and bickering death spiral for longer than 6 months then, yeah, really time to call last orders.

what happened to taken girl, then?