Sneaky.Russian
Random Hero
+119|6328|Australia QLD
*breaks out the light bulb jokes*

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

How many consultants does it take to  change a light bulb?
I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Into what?
madmax
Member
+12|6268|perth, w.a.
what do u call the useless skin around a pussie

a woman


why do woman have periods

coz they deserve it
madmax
Member
+12|6268|perth, w.a.
what's the difference between Jews an pizza

pizza don't scream when u shove it in to an oven
Vub
The Power of Two
+188|6501|Sydney, Australia

madmax wrote:

what do u call the useless skin around a pussie

a woman


why do woman have periods

coz they deserve it
I would give you karma for this but your joke about the Jews gets you a negative karma. So all in all, you get nothing
spectraman
Member
+27|6779
Why did the little kid think his dad had two dicks? He saw the one to pee with and one to brush the babysitters teeth with.
madmax
Member
+12|6268|perth, w.a.
how do u seperate the boys from the men in Greece

with a crowbar
Surgeons
U shud proabbly f off u fat prik
+3,097|6496|Gogledd Cymru

madmax wrote:

how do u seperate the boys from the men in Greece

with a crowbar
haha
Vub
The Power of Two
+188|6501|Sydney, Australia
Recently Johnny got really bothered by the excrutiating pain he felt in his wrists every morning while in the tunnel, driving his colleagues to work.

So he went to see a doctor, who told him he suffered from carpool tunnel syndrome.

Last edited by Vub (2007-03-18 04:01:08)

Roughshod
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
+24|6276|Germany, NRW
yesterday night i was followed by a set of teeth.
Then I recognized that it was just a negro.
madmax
Member
+12|6268|perth, w.a.
What do u call 4 Greek woman in a sauna

Gorillas in the mist
Donald O' Brien
Member
+104|6710
What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt...
Kurazoo
Pheasant Plucker
+440|6690|West Yorkshire, U.K
You:    "Did you have the TV on last night?"
Friend: "Yeah"
You: "Cool how did it fit?"
         ***
I tried ringing Saddam Hussein up the other night but he hung up on me.
         ***
Why are there no asprins in the jugle?

Because the parrots eat em all (paracetamol)

Last edited by Kurazoo (2007-03-18 11:27:29)

R0lyP0ly
Member
+161|6660|USA
Whats the best birth control device for an Italian woman??

Her face.

Why did the Polack cross the road?

To get to the middle.
Canadian_Sniper_X
Member
+45|6495|Kamloops, BC Canada
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.
TuataraDude
Member
+115|6529|Aotearoa
A Colonel goes to the local army hospital to cheer up his troops. He goes to the first one:
"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic Jock Itch, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the front line as soon as possible, Sir!"

He moves on to the next bed:

"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic heamarhoids, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the front line as soon as possible, Sir!"


He moves on to the next bed:

"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"
Coolbeano
Level 13.5 BF2S Ninja Penguin Sensei
+378|6769

A man comes home from work. His wife hadn't made dinner yet. So he rapes her.
TrollmeaT
Aspiring Objectivist
+492|6679|Colorado
What do you call a female peacock?
A peacock.
Shadow893
lel
+75|6698|England

TuataraDude wrote:

A Colonel goes to the local army hospital to cheer up his troops. He goes to the first one:
"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic Jock Itch, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the front line as soon as possible, Sir!"

He moves on to the next bed:

"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic heamarhoids, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the front line as soon as possible, Sir!"


He moves on to the next bed:

"What are you here for soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir!"
"Really? What's the treatment for that?"
"Daily scrub with a wire brush, Sir!"
"Right, what are you hoping to do soldier?"
"Get to the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"
i don't get it...
stef10
Member
+173|6488|Denmark
Why do nazis need two viagra pills when they perform? They need one for the dick and one for the arm.
Sheen1101
Member
+12|6626
Why does Michael Jackson like K-Mart?
-Because kid's pants are half off

How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
-He choked on a 12-year old wiener
theDude5B
Cool member
+804|6756
https://www.xboxed360.net/xb/2142/300jenga.gif
Penetrator
Certified Twat
+296|6514|Bournemouth, South England
Little Dave pestered his Dad for months about getting his own TV set in his bedroom, until one day his father gave in and got him one.  About a week later, Dave comes downstairs, and asks; "Dad, whats Love Juice?", his father looks horrified and tells Dave all about sex. Dave just sits there with his mouth open in amazement. After the speech, Dad asks; " So what were you watching on TV?", Dave replies: "Tennis.".
mkxiii
online bf2s mek evasion
+509|6242|Uk
I WARN YOU PEOPLE, THIS IS JUST PLAIN SICK. PLEASE BLAME MY FRIEND JESSE!!!

A man walks into a bar, and as he is a regular, he goes straight to the barman and starts a conversation.

"Hey Dave, you'll never guess what happened yesterday.  I was looking out at the railway line behind my house and there was a woman strapped TO the railway line!"

The barman replies "Holy shit John, what the fuck did you do?"

"Well, i went and untied her and took her back to mine. She was so hot as well, and we had the best sex ever, pretty much any position you could name, we did, it was incredible!"

"Wow, did you have oral?"

"Nah mate, i couldn't find her head."

Please don't eternally damn me to hell, i did warn you.

"i'll say goodbye to my 4 karma now shall i?"

Last edited by mkxiii (2007-04-19 12:35:58)

mkxiii
online bf2s mek evasion
+509|6242|Uk
now moving away form the last one with quiet dignity.

Whats the difference between a banana and George Bush?
One's a type of fruit and the other is the President of America

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
"Get in the car Robin"

________________________________________________________________

Best joke ever alert.

Once there was a magic tractor, it drove down the road and turned into a field.

________________________________________________________________

What do you call a black man named John?
John, you racist!

Why do they call it a bungalow?
Because they bungalow roof on it.

Why did Hitler lose the war?
He couldn't pay the gas bill.

A blond walks into an electricals store and goes up to the sales assistant and says "Can i buy this TV please?"
The sales assistant replies "sorry miss, we don't serve blondes"

The blond leaves without arguement.  She comes back the next day having died her hair brunette, and attempts to buy the TV again, with the same response.

The next day she comes back having shaved off her hair, and attempts, one more time, to buy the TV.
The sales assistant, once again replies "sorry miss, we don't serve blondes"

The blond is bewildered and asks the assistant "how did you know i was blond?"

The assistant replies "thats a microwave miss"



A blond and a brunette are watching the news, and a man in a private jet is featured.  The brunette challenges the blond to a £10 bet, saying "i bet you that man will jump out and commit suicide".  The blond accepts, and just as the brunette said, the man jumps out and commits suicide.

5 minutes later the brunette confesses that she saw the news earlier and so knew he was going to jump, and offers the £10 back.  The blond replies "no, keep it, i saw the news earlier too, i just didnt think the stupid bastard would do it again"

ill try and think of more bad ones

one more:

How is Michael Jackson like a Big Mac?
They're both 42 year old meat inside 10 year old buns.

Keep thinking of more, lol, ill stop now.

What's worse then finding a maggot in your apple?




















Being raped.

Peace out

Last edited by mkxiii (2007-04-19 13:18:47)

mkxiii
online bf2s mek evasion
+509|6242|Uk
whats the difference between the french and mustard?
ones yellow and runs, and the others good on a hotdog.

how many gears does a french tank have?
7. 6 in reverse and 1 encase the enemies behind you.

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