What do you do if you run over a pig?
Call the Hambulance!
c whut i did thar?
Call the Hambulance!
c whut i did thar?
What common illness do retired pilots always get?
The flew
What's a common illness in China?
Kung flu
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment
What do you give a sick car?
Fuel injection
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice gnawing you
The flew
What's a common illness in China?
Kung flu
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment
What do you give a sick car?
Fuel injection
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice gnawing you
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner.
What did the father chimney say to the boy chimney?
Stop smoking
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing.
What did the mayonnaise say to the salad?
Don't look, I'm dressing.
What is the most common car in China?
The Rolls Rice
How do cars defend themselves?
By learning carate!
What does a male shovel say at the sight of a pretty female shovel?
I dig that!
I'll meet you at the corner.
What did the father chimney say to the boy chimney?
Stop smoking
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing.
What did the mayonnaise say to the salad?
Don't look, I'm dressing.
What is the most common car in China?
The Rolls Rice
How do cars defend themselves?
By learning carate!
What does a male shovel say at the sight of a pretty female shovel?
I dig that!
Last edited by Vub (2007-02-03 03:30:56)
that was funnyVub wrote:
What is the most common car in China?
The Rolls Rice
Last edited by panda-pat (2007-02-03 23:32:52)
yea it was.SysTray wrote:
That was actually pretty good.CameronPoe wrote:
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing - they were both stuck-up cunts!
Wise man once said " Go to bed with an itchy ass.. Wake up with a smelly finger.."
I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something. - Rodney Booker, Job Fair attendee.
Three race horses were sitting around fire talking about their records.
Horse 1: I'm the greatest. I've won 10 races and destroyed the competition.
Horse 2: That's nothing, I've won 18 races and never looked back.
Horse 3: You guys are pathetic, I've won 26 races since I was a baby.
A greyhound walking by hears the horses' claims and chips in himself.
Grayhound: You guys suck. I've won 88 straight races, you've got nothing on that.
The three horses look confused at each other when the third horse says:
Horse 3: Wow, a talking dog!
Horse 1: I'm the greatest. I've won 10 races and destroyed the competition.
Horse 2: That's nothing, I've won 18 races and never looked back.
Horse 3: You guys are pathetic, I've won 26 races since I was a baby.
A greyhound walking by hears the horses' claims and chips in himself.
Grayhound: You guys suck. I've won 88 straight races, you've got nothing on that.
The three horses look confused at each other when the third horse says:
Horse 3: Wow, a talking dog!
And once again :
My grandfather died in a Jewish concetration camp..
He fell off the watch-tower!
My grandfather died in a Jewish concetration camp..
He fell off the watch-tower!
Whats pink and fluffy..............
.........Pink fluff.
.........Pink fluff.
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
I will never forgive the Germans for the way my Grandfather was treated in the concentration camps. Passed over for promotion after all that hard work.....
Great!Penetrator_01 wrote:
I will never forgive the Germans for the way my Grandfather was treated in the concentration camps. Passed over for promotion after all that hard work.....
What's the difference between a Rasta' and a pie?
The pie hasn't got any Jammin'!
(I made this joke myself)
What bees make milk?
BooBees.
BooBees.
lol bizzarely that was funny +1Penetrator_01 wrote:
What bees make milk?
BooBees.
Why was Watt so upset?
Because he wasn't allowed to Volt!
Because he wasn't allowed to Volt!
Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist ?
a terrorist can be negotiated with
what do you call a vagina ?
I call it a taxi so I can get sum sleep
a terrorist can be negotiated with
what do you call a vagina ?
I call it a taxi so I can get sum sleep
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American Flag were mounted on either side of it.
The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor McGwire, what is this?" Alex asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to the men & women who died in the service. "Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 8:45 or the 11:00?
The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor McGwire, what is this?" Alex asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to the men & women who died in the service. "Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 8:45 or the 11:00?
A cop is patrolling lovers’ lane when he sees the strangest thing. A couple are sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting. He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the older man’s window. He rolls the window down. “Yes officer?” “I have to ask you, what are you doing?” “Well sir, I am reading a magazine.” “What about the young lady in the back seat?” The young man turns to look behind him. “Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater.” “How old are you, sir?” the officer asks. “I am 40, officer.” “And the girl?” The man looks at his watch. “Well, she’ll be 17 in 11 minutes.”
A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. “What’s this?” he screams. “There’s a pussy hair in my soup! I’m not payin’ for it,” and he storms out. The waitress gets very upset at this, and follows him out to see him go to the whorehouse across the street. He pays the madam, retires to a room with a lovely blonde and goes down on her with gusto. The waitress bursts in and says, “You complain about a hair in your soup and then come over here and do this,” the waitress yells. He lifts his head, turns to her and says, “Yeah. And if I find a noodle in here, I ain’t paying for it either.”
A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. “What’s this?” he screams. “There’s a pussy hair in my soup! I’m not payin’ for it,” and he storms out. The waitress gets very upset at this, and follows him out to see him go to the whorehouse across the street. He pays the madam, retires to a room with a lovely blonde and goes down on her with gusto. The waitress bursts in and says, “You complain about a hair in your soup and then come over here and do this,” the waitress yells. He lifts his head, turns to her and says, “Yeah. And if I find a noodle in here, I ain’t paying for it either.”
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
I forget, I was so high hallucinating about talking tomatoes before an orange came along and shoot them with a M95 with 1 bullet
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Wanna catchup?(ketcup tee hee)
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
I'm sorry I thought you were a girl
I forget, I was so high hallucinating about talking tomatoes before an orange came along and shoot them with a M95 with 1 bullet
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Wanna catchup?(ketcup tee hee)
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
I'm sorry I thought you were a girl
Why did the man light a fire?
Because he was cold.
Because he was cold.
What do you get when you cross Arnold Swarzchanegger(sp?) and Michael Jackson?
Iwasanigger
Iwasanigger
Alright so one of my friends was visiting Aushwitz. Near the end of the tour, there was a gift shop that was selling postcards. Knowing that his friends and family wanted some kind of souvenirs from his trip, he bought a few but could not find one for mother in law. In a flash of brilliance he found one.
Wish you were here
Aushwitz 1944
Wish you were here
Aushwitz 1944
Wanna hear a funny joke?
Women's rights.
Women's rights.
Man that is soooo old
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck it's cock.
Suck it's cock.
*steals from south park*
The pony was mad at the sun so he asked the wolf to yell at the sun for him, and wolf asks "why can you not yell at the sun?"
and the pony replies "i am a little hoarse"
haha ha ha/indian laugh
one day bear walks into bar and says can i have a drink?
and deer says why the long pause?
haha ha ha/indian laugh
(you might wana read those out loud)
The pony was mad at the sun so he asked the wolf to yell at the sun for him, and wolf asks "why can you not yell at the sun?"
and the pony replies "i am a little hoarse"
haha ha ha/indian laugh
one day bear walks into bar and says can i have a drink?
and deer says why the long pause?
haha ha ha/indian laugh
(you might wana read those out loud)
I call my dog Cigarette cos it's got no legs.
I take it out for a drag every night.
I take it out for a drag every night.