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Wafer
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"Ok I saw this and thought it was flippen hilarious. You can get the full one here: http://www.eaplay.com/australia/communi … ead/46423/

Release Notes for 1.21

EA/Dice are sick of the hurtfull and nasty comments being made buy the community just because they released a half assed patch, so the following changes have been made to balance the game.

1. Sniper Rifles all automatically fire a warning shot, the bullt will stop and do the Can-Can in front of the Victims face to warn them that they are being shot at, the second bullet cannot leave the rifle until the dance is finished, this takes approximately 30 seconds.

2. Claymores now no longer explode killing the victim, they mearly turn into a life-size replica of Mrs Doubtfire and give you a stern talking to about the "nautiness" of sneaking up on a sniper unannounced.

3. All support weapons now play the 1812 overture before firing (including fake canon fire and fireworks over the support players head).

4. All grenades including the so-called noob tube ones now explode in a shower of flower petals.

5. No weapon now has the ability to "kill" another player, this is just getting in the way of the gameplay.

6. The 10 players with the lowest global score on any server will all automatically be given a gold medal, the badge/ribbon/medal of their choice and a hug (this is a virtual hug, so for underage members please do not interperate this the wrong way and sue).

7. All other players on the server will be given either a silver or bronze medal, the badge/ribbon/medal of their choice, and allocated an appropiate amount of points dependant on their current global score, this new points system is designed to get everyone to the same rank/GS regardless of skill level or time in game.

8. All vehicles are now "Nerf'd" and will take only one pistol round or knife thrust to explode, of course the occupants will not be harmed.

9. Medics will now be bound by the hypocratic oath, they can however "help" virtual players move on to the next plane of existance this will aquire them points under the "Youth in Asia" clause in the new EA TOS document. for each person "helped" they will earn 1 extra point, unless this offends anyone then we will award 2 points to the offended player.

10. anyone who somehow circumvents the stringent controls in the game now and actually succeeds in "killing" a virtual player will have a "Hit" put on them in the real world. This will be carried out by the new EA Games Department headed up by John "The Don" Porello.

11. anyone we don't like or who posts bad things about us will be dealt with as follows:

1st Offence - Stats will be wiped.

2nd offence - Stats wiped and we will tell your mommy.

3rd offence - banned for life from Battlefield 2.

4th offence - as per point 10 "killing penalty"

12. anyone who offends anyone else in any way within the game will have 30 seconds to appologise, if they fail to meet this timeframe they will be kicked from the server.




------------------edit----------------

This was NOT umm, typed by me. Nonetheless it was posted by me.

Actually the creator of the info above comes from naybr3"
jokerhv
Member
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Lol
IvIaster.Us
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lame

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