Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,810|6075|eXtreme to the maX

Dilbert_X wrote:

The PE firm which bought them out without doing any due diligence has put in a CEO who is even now a big fan of Jack Welch, the GM they put in has made an entire career out of stealing other companies ideas then bullying them into oblivion with expensive lawyers. A few years ago he stole some of mine. Whenever he talks one or both of his legs jiggles up and down like a toddler who needs the toilet.
The GMs first visible act has been to hire a consultant to tell him what to do - genius.
I think I should charge at least triple my normal rate for doing this.
Русский военный корабль, иди на хуй!
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,810|6075|eXtreme to the maX
^The 'consultants' only visible suggestion so far has been to hire himself as a project manager.
Thats what the company needs, a project manager for two days a week.

I'm enjoying making more money for fewer hours and not having to worry about anything, especially not the new management style which seems to have been unearthed from the mid 90s.

https://i.imgur.com/Jvr6VAD.png

Increase NPD Sales from X to Y - I'm fully aligned and engaged with that objective.

(I'd have posted a better graphic but only paper copies are unavailable)

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2020-10-10 00:34:40)

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uziq
Member
+492|3422
it's an abuse of language and intelligence, all this corporate clap-trap. i'm not even entirely sheltered from it in a non-profit.

there's always some 'blue skies thinker' who decides to import japanese 'kanban boards' or to make us adopt some methodology originally pioneered for hyundai production lines or something, perfectly allomorphic with the production of journal articles, of course ...

mostly i just see it as the managerial class perpetuating their own jobs. they need xyz 'projects to completion' each year to pick up their bonus. half the time they 'disrupt' a perfectly good operation that's humming along just for the sake of it. some new-fangled MBA gobbledigook or modish idea from an amazon business-category bestseller.

i have to say i am almost blessedly unperturbed by any of this stuff. i couldn't care less about it and i do not attend the zoom meetings.
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,810|6075|eXtreme to the maX
The company does need to be shaken up, but 30 years of stagnation are not going to be swung around by a 22 year old downloading slogans off the interweb.

And yeah, what works for Toyota may not work for a niche manufacturer making a wide spread of low-volume parts in batch sizes as small as one.

Also one of the key management insights of the last 100 years is people can only remember three things, and you have to tell them three times.
I think it was Hitler who taught us that.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2020-10-10 05:59:16)

Русский военный корабль, иди на хуй!
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,810|6075|eXtreme to the maX
One of my colleagues had a day of 5S Lean manufacturing training on the Friday and quit on the Monday.

His unique skillset is definitely not replaceable in Australia, its pretty well unique to this company and has taken decades to develop, will be fun to watch the several million dollars of annual revenue with the the fattest gross margin in the place go out of the door.

Having some moron tell you "You uh need to be more agile, and uh, responsive to customers and uh, walk the talk yeah" just fucks people off I guess.

That and the team being effectively insulted by the new GM.
Русский военный корабль, иди на хуй!
pirana6
Go Cougs!
+682|6260|Washington St.

pirana6 wrote:

https://forums.bf2s.com//viewtopic.php?pid=3959486#p3959486

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

people are definitely going to be laid off. Hope for a severance package in 3 months when the redundancy is fully realized.
This happened today.

Estimated between 1.5 and 2k people laid off. We're still trying to find out details but sounds like redundancies but blaming covid. I wasn't one of them but the writing is on the wall.
I've been trying like mad to get out but with the virus situation...
Nobody in my position (or similar) has been laid off yet, but I don't want to imagine applying for jobs when there's a few hundred extra of me all trying to do the same. I'd really like to get out now to stay ahead of the wave.
I got out.

2 weeks from today will be last day. New job 4 days later. Small bump in pay, title is pretty much the same. But heck I'm happy.
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6741|PNW

Dilbert_X wrote:

^The 'consultants' only visible suggestion so far has been to hire himself as a project manager.
Thats what the company needs, a project manager for two days a week.

I'm enjoying making more money for fewer hours and not having to worry about anything, especially not the new management style which seems to have been unearthed from the mid 90s.



Increase NPD Sales from X to Y - I'm fully aligned and engaged with that objective.

(I'd have posted a better graphic but only paper copies are unavailable)
Honestly the language makes me squirm. It's such an infuriatingly neutral way to push busywork. I didn't read the whole thing but I wouldn't be surprised to see "TPS report" in there somewhere. I get that they don't want people to slip into a rut, but constantly reminding them by default to get with the program and stay on mission and StUdY HArD or whatever seems more aggravating than inspirational.

From a design perspective, that summary sheet actually pains me to look at. Why is so much text white-on-red? Why do its contents read like a corporate 90s PSA? Is the info presented in the colored backgrounds to the left supposed to correlate with that in the identically colored backgrounds on the right? Why does "the way we choose to win" lead to "our purpose?" Shouldn't the last come before the first? Why is strategy in so many bullet points? What the heck does "lives our values" even mean? The initiative chart is making my eyes cross.

Unrepentant gobbledygook. I've been in meetings where the owners or execs just cut through this stuff with a figurative chainsaw to bring the meeting back on task, to the dismay of the powerpoint peddlers. Everyone else is like silently "oh thank #*&," you can see it in their eyes.
uziq
Member
+492|3422
lean, like continuous improvement, is just the latest in fashionable twaddle peddled by business/bestsellers. every mediocre middle manager wants a slice so he can buy the latest ford focus rs (in luminous green) with his bonus or some fucking shit.

what’s the one that’s called something lean-6-sigma or something? some hybrid bastard idea born of a syphilitic mind. it even comes with ‘belts’ and like colour-coded grades.

dante would be at a loss as to where to put these people in his inferno. they’d just end up renaming their circle something like a ‘breakout ring’ and start calling thursday meetings ‘before the close of play’ to assess their annual Hell performance.

Last edited by uziq (2020-10-16 13:17:38)

unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6741|PNW

"Accountability" is just biz code for "find someone to throw under the bus." I suppose the same could be said for "teamwork," "integrity," and "respect." "Excellence" shouldn't even need to be mentioned when the whole document has a "don't half-ass it" vibe. Kind of fighting words I think against people working at an engineering company.

Would they even make it to dante's inferno, or would they just be stuck in some newfangled purgatory for corporate bureaucrats where nothing is alphabetized.
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6741|PNW

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_Six_Sigma

Yeah, there's belts. It would be pretty cool if they wrestled each other though.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/de/Lean_Six_Sigma_Structure_Pyramid.svg/1280px-Lean_Six_Sigma_Structure_Pyramid.svg.png
uziq
Member
+492|3422
fucking so lame ahahaha.
RTHKI
mmmf mmmf mmmf
+1,736|6707|Oxferd Ohire
my boss is a six sigma black belt
https://i.imgur.com/tMvdWFG.png
Larssen
Member
+99|1857
Never thought I'd have to come to the defence of consulting BS, but lean actually isn't bad. It rose in popularity during the last financial crisis and greatly helped efficiency in the manufacturing industry and other places where it's important to streamline processes and minimise waste. Its succes made it take on a life of its own, now often being misapplied by people who don't understand what it's for.
uziq
Member
+492|3422
straight trash. do some socially productive work you fucking parasite.

when the revolution kicks off i'm sending the brown shirts to your door for peddling this nonce-science.

Last edited by uziq (2020-10-16 14:58:30)

Larssen
Member
+99|1857
I worked as a consultant for a while out of uni. Didn't do lean specifically but some colleagues did. Received some trainings on process improvement as well.

First, it's a hard job if you walk into a place already knowing that everyone hates you. Even harder perhaps is making people accept they're part of the problem; look at the attitude above if people are told they're not interacting well with their clients. Especially older people that rusted in place into some company over a period of 20+ years develop an insufferable combination of arrogance & complacency.
uziq
Member
+492|3422
yeah, i get it. i'm made to do lots of lean and 'continuous improvement' in my job too. it's mostly make-work though. a lot of it is also just the managers palming off their oversight and process review responsibilities onto overworked underlings. so that they can then sit in meetings all day and talk about what a great success THEIR fucking improvement schemes have been.

it's just another self-concealing hieratic class within the business world. learn to speak the bullshit lingo, play the game. everyone hiding the fact that, really, they're hardly producing or doing fucking anything. businesses don't need this bloated middle-management layer of 'project managers'.
Larssen
Member
+99|1857
Depends on the business. A good project manager can be very valuable. I have no idea about non profit publishers though. Wouldn't exactly be on my mind if I were thinking continuous improvement or large project management (I'm sure it happens I just have no idea what to think of).

Generally speaking as far as lean/continuous improvement goes most of it is about introducing a structured way to step back and re-evaluate how things are done. It can certainly be helpful, but also again depends on the business. It's far more important in very large industrial operations or managed services providers, especially due to the rate of change in software/technology applied in their work processes. In those industries it's unforgivable to stick with the same approach for a decade.
DesertFox-
The very model of a modern major general
+794|6654|United States of America
Jesus. So much of my stress at work right now comes from this sort of shit and I log on to see it discussed here, too. Maybe it's my cynical nature to at these approaches when there are improvements to be made, but I cannot be fucked to care about the Japanese word du jour organizational concept is.
uziq
Member
+492|3422

Larssen wrote:

Depends on the business. A good project manager can be very valuable. I have no idea about non profit publishers though. Wouldn't exactly be on my mind if I were thinking continuous improvement or large project management (I'm sure it happens I just have no idea what to think of).

Generally speaking as far as lean/continuous improvement goes most of it is about introducing a structured way to step back and re-evaluate how things are done. It can certainly be helpful, but also again depends on the business. It's far more important in very large industrial operations or managed services providers, especially due to the rate of change in software/technology applied in their work processes. In those industries it's unforgivable to stick with the same approach for a decade.
i don't know why you and dilbert get confused by the 'non-profit' thing. it's a learned society. there is still fierce competition. it's still a business that has to keep up. we aren't all filing things in cabinets and instructing our secretaries to have our correspondence made up in the typist's room.

publishing is a very long and convoluted production line, too, involving many stakeholders and suppliers. it's just as susceptible to faddish business trends, especially in larger houses with corporate structures and overweening middle-management.

i just resent mediocrities armed with a few buzzwords interrupting my actually valuable work/contributions with pointless make-work.

Last edited by uziq (2020-10-16 16:23:08)

uziq
Member
+492|3422

DesertFox- wrote:

Jesus. So much of my stress at work right now comes from this sort of shit and I log on to see it discussed here, too. Maybe it's my cynical nature to at these approaches when there are improvements to be made, but I cannot be fucked to care about the Japanese word du jour organizational concept is.
please, add your complaint to the kanban board and the in-house JIRA team will triage your issue for RCA ASAP.
Pochsy
Artifice of Eternity
+702|5513|Toronto
Man, my org was pushing kaizen principles when the new gov came in a couple years back, asking who had training, setting up internal consultancies, etc. The thing cratered when they realized the policy analysts with advanced degrees started blowing smoke using the buzzwords and making a mockery of the whole thing. The underlying point was we do thinking work; we don't make widgets. It was the greatest ever herding cats exercise in which the cats were self aware and actively undermining the effort. As far as I know the internal consultancy got demoted from cabinet office into the much less visible/prestigious government services ministry.


Sad about it--was a great time writing sentences with no words and all initialisms/acronyms.

Last edited by Pochsy (2020-10-16 16:57:32)

The shape of an eye in front of the ocean, digging for stones and throwing them against its window pane. Take it down dreamer, take it down deep. - Other Families
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6741|PNW

I've been bumped into "project management" in case by case basis depending on my familiarity with the work. All the human interaction I did between doing actual work was go around and make sure everybody knew what they were supposed to be getting on with, whether or not they were, and keeping an eye on newer employees (who are sometimes start work loathe to admit when they're having a problem). I didn't have "management certifications," so didn't know I was supposed to create unnecessary forms and employ strange business origami or whatever. Jobs got done, well, quickly, and customers were satisfied. I think people are kidding themselves if they think a rich client from India is going to give two spicy turds about the internal backpatting of a smaller company from the states. That sort of thing is for merger valuation.
Dilbert_X
The X stands for
+1,810|6075|eXtreme to the maX
Kaizen, six sigma, lean etc all have their place but they're done to death and the marginal gain, except in very high volume manufacturing, is small and not worth as much as an engaged workforce.
The overhead burden of having people dedicated to minute marginal gains is also probably smaller than being innovative and nimble, and having competent marketing people.

Our problem is in large part that we had a GM who worked for the one company for his entire 50 year career, the last 10-20 years of which were spent doing very little in terms of process innovation, or much else really.  Being asked to actually get up from his desk and do some work seems to have triggered his retirement which might be good.
Most of the rest of the problem was that his, overpromoted, wife was the production coordinator and she didn't really have a clue. Anything mildly complex had to be dealt with by one of the engineers. Great anecdote "We need to make X units which take Y man-hours and we have one week to do it. How many operators do you need?" "How should I know? Thats an engineer question!".
The occasional panic reorganisation usually resulted in no improvement and a lot of lost equipment. "we've had a tidy up, what do you think?" "Oh fuck..."

Getting a marketing bimbo to put slogans and coloured charts onto posters is not going to turn around 30 years of inertia. Its going to take time and effort and I'm glad its not my problem.

I'm sure most of it is so they can tell prospective buyers "we're a kaizen kanban 5s organisation" so some other mug will buy the place.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2020-10-16 23:30:07)

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unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6741|PNW

The last acquisition meeting I was at, the prospective absorber was more interested in how new the fleet was and how the yard looked ("who cares if you can do the work, do you have any begonias?" or whatever) than the client base, employee skill, years of experience, and quality of work. One guy (a promoted, recent absorbee) would also not let up on the reps being late to the meeting because they didn't fly in by helicopter, and were at the mercy of highway delays. "Try not to be late next time!" to a quite grating effect that made everyone fidget uncomfortably. One rep was given a generalized job application with janitor qualifications; not exactly confidence-building.

Reps were a little insulted by the day's affairs, and the deal fell through. Was an embarrassing affair for the tops of both parties. Middle management can be such a plague if it's allowed to run rampant. Rein in those pit bulls!
Shahter
Zee Ruskie
+295|6745|Moscow, Russia

unnamednewbie13 wrote:

The last acquisition meeting I was at, the prospective absorber was more interested in how new the fleet was and how the yard looked ("who cares if you can do the work, do you have any begonias?" or whatever) than the client base, employee skill, years of experience, and quality of work. One guy (a promoted, recent absorbee) would also not let up on the reps being late to the meeting because they didn't fly in by helicopter, and were at the mercy of highway delays. "Try not to be late next time!" to a quite grating effect that made everyone fidget uncomfortably. One rep was given a generalized job application with janitor qualifications; not exactly confidence-building.
capitalizom.
if you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.

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