The other night, my nan died in our home. I was busy gaming with friends, when my mother came in and told me that an ambulance crew were currently trying to get her help as she was pretty bad. My nan's been through A LOT of stuff, and always made it out. Every single time, so I didn't think much of it. My mother didn't sound too distressed or anything, so I carried on.
Few minutes later she came back saying she'd gone... I sort of froze up and... I don't know. I didn't get really sad, I didn't cry, I just waited for myself to feel something.
Later on that night I got upset when I realised I couldn't remember the last thing I said to her, and that I'll never get to say "Bye", or "I love you", but shortly after I was just back to being me.
She lives in the bottom few rooms of our house, you see. Still, now, I don't think I've truly realised she's gone as I still creep around at night, trying not to make noise, look for her light on under the door, etc.
I feel like a complete dick for not being as upset as everyone else. I haven't even spoken to anyone about it, especially my dad, who I feel so bad for as he's now the last remaining family member on his side, I believe. I just have no idea what I'd say.
So do I have some serious, fucked up issue or is this normal? Pretty much everyone of my family members who've passed on so far have made it known beforehand it was gonna happen, but I just can't seem to get it in my head she's gone.
Sorry to post here, but not sure where else I could get an opinion. I don't really want to talk to friends or family about it.
Few minutes later she came back saying she'd gone... I sort of froze up and... I don't know. I didn't get really sad, I didn't cry, I just waited for myself to feel something.
Later on that night I got upset when I realised I couldn't remember the last thing I said to her, and that I'll never get to say "Bye", or "I love you", but shortly after I was just back to being me.
She lives in the bottom few rooms of our house, you see. Still, now, I don't think I've truly realised she's gone as I still creep around at night, trying not to make noise, look for her light on under the door, etc.
I feel like a complete dick for not being as upset as everyone else. I haven't even spoken to anyone about it, especially my dad, who I feel so bad for as he's now the last remaining family member on his side, I believe. I just have no idea what I'd say.
So do I have some serious, fucked up issue or is this normal? Pretty much everyone of my family members who've passed on so far have made it known beforehand it was gonna happen, but I just can't seem to get it in my head she's gone.
Sorry to post here, but not sure where else I could get an opinion. I don't really want to talk to friends or family about it.
