AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6154|what

I will say this about the books, Danny gets a lot of action. And I'm not just talking about battles.
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Adams_BJ
Russian warship, go fuck yourself
+2,053|6624|Little Bentcock
I would bang dany
eleven bravo
Member
+1,399|5260|foggy bottom

AussieReaper wrote:

I will say this about the books, Danny gets a lot of action. And I'm not just talking about battles.
sex right
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AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6154|what

Adams_BJ wrote:

I would bang dany
So would Viserys. And Drogo. And Mormont. And her hand maids. And, well to go on would be spoilers. But definitely George RR would bang.
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-Sh1fty-
plundering yee booty
+510|5475|Ventura, California
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And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
Brasso
member
+1,549|6632

margaery tyrell is a hottie
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
Poseidon
Fudgepack DeQueef
+3,253|6539|Long Island, New York
Spoilers for next episode (or at least I presume):

Spoiler (highlight to read):
I guess this is one where Renly gets fucked in the butt by Ser Loras the Shadow? Interested to see how they depict it.
Miggle
FUCK UBISOFT
+1,411|6743|FUCK UBISOFT

your computer wasn't booting about an hour ago.

I got it fixed though.
https://i.imgur.com/86fodNE.png
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6154|what

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
Brasso
member
+1,549|6632

AussieReaper wrote:

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only

Last edited by Brasso (2012-04-16 04:11:53)

"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6154|what

Brasso wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only
in the books renly can't get it up, but it's no homo.
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
Macbeth
Banned
+2,444|5587

Brasso wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only
it was only two men kissing.
War Man
Australians are hermaphrodites.
+563|6715|Purplicious Wisconsin

Macbeth wrote:

Brasso wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only
it was only two men kissing.
I did not need to see that, thank God my dad fast forwarded.
The irony of guns, is that they can save lives.
FatherTed
xD
+3,936|6501|so randum
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Use an umbrella
Brasso
member
+1,549|6632

Macbeth wrote:

Brasso wrote:

AussieReaper wrote:

whoever wrote the renly screenplay should be beheaded.
yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only
it was only two men kissing.
i didn't think it was terrible but i dunno just not my thing. they didn't really have to do it. the "that's totally gross" came from everyone around me
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
AussieReaper
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+5,761|6154|what

don't worry.

i have a feeling you won't be seeing too much more of that sort of behaviour from renly.
https://i.imgur.com/maVpUMN.png
jsnipy
...
+3,276|6524|...

War Man wrote:

Macbeth wrote:

Brasso wrote:


yeah thats totally gross

in fact i couldnt hear what him and loras were talking about because everyone else around me was busy crying cause of cooties etc etc

probably going to watch it again - audio only
it was only two men kissing.
I did not need to see that, thank God my dad fast forwarded.
People have been gay for thousands of years.
Brasso
member
+1,549|6632

AussieReaper wrote:

don't worry.

i have a feeling you won't be seeing too much more of that sort of behaviour from renly.
yeah i accidentally read that.

zzzzzz i should really just keep reading the book instead of playing video games
"people in ny have a general idea of how to drive. one of the pedals goes forward the other one prevents you from dying"
eleven bravo
Member
+1,399|5260|foggy bottom
so george rr based his story partially on the wars of the roses.  he couldnt even think of better names for lannister and stark
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Uzique
dasein.
+2,865|6472
all fantasy except for a few very rare high examples is just recycled schlock for mongs and teen losers. it's part and parcel of the genre.
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eleven bravo
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+1,399|5260|foggy bottom
all he did was change the spelling for lancaster and york a little bit
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Uzique
dasein.
+2,865|6472
sometimes it's there as a subtle reference/allusion for the history geeks or people who get off on that sort of trivia, other times it's done just for the simple reason that fantasy doesn't really need to be original. it's a genre that trades in cliches and recycled plot conventions and the same few settings over and over and over. fantasy is in the business of appealing to people's popular fantasies and dreams, and of course fantasy-geek readers all have the same few cultural predilections and social weaknesses. don't change a winning formula. the only difference between this sort of capitalization on reader-fantasy and the type of shit that twilight teens read is that 'real' fantasy maintains a pretension of literary detail and world-building, i.e. ripping off real history.
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eleven bravo
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reminds me of this

GLOUCESTER, MA As he neared completion this week on his latest novel, By The Water's Edge, author Edward Milligan marveled aloud to reporters how he was able to flesh out, in meticulous detail, every single corner of his book's vast and stunningly shitty world.

According to Milligan, he spent seven months conducting in-depth historical research in order to conjure, as if out of thin air, the fictional and entirely bullshit universe of Connor's Cove, Massachusetts, including its utterly uninspired lighthouse, the predictably dark underbelly lurking beneath its quaint exterior, and its painfully trite main thoroughfare known as Chance Street.

"As an author, my job is to use my gift for detail to construct a sense of place so real that readers will almost feel as though they can step inside of it and walk around," said Milligan, who spent weeks mapping out the entire genealogy of the fictional founders of Connor's Cove, from their completely uninteresting origins all the way to their somehow even more mind-numbingly dull present-day progeny. "Every shop, every house, every inhabitant has a function within this little microcosm I've dreamed up."

"I believe that, by immersing themselves fully in the story, readers will actually become a part of Connor's Cove, in a sense," the author added incorrectly.

Having reportedly lived along the Massachusetts coast for more than two decades, Milligan drew heavily from only the most hackneyed and obvious aspects of maritime culture to depict life on the harbor, even going so far as to thoroughly research New England dialects in order to authentically craft the grating and unbearable phonetic renderings of speech he uses for all the book's terrible dialogue.

Milligan also said his novel's tedious descriptions of local flora and fauna, needlessly complex and yet childishly rendered sociopolitical context, and embarrassingly obvious parallels to major events in American history were all necessary to help lend his utterly garbage story a real and lived-in sense of verisimilitude.

"By carefully thinking through every detail, I made Connor's Cove feel like an organic extension of reality," said Milligan, unaware that his overwrought, tiresome backstories on each and every dilapidated lobster boat in the harbor and countless other minutiae added nothing to his flimsy, hard-to-follow story arc. "In such a vital world, you don't simply read about a village, you smell its salt air and feel all of its joys and all of its struggles."

When he wasn't blatantly wasting his time detailing the architecture of the Town Hall building or supplying dozens of fictional bridges and creeks with names that sound as if they were invented by a high school English student, Milligan was focusing his energies on crafting a diverse social stratum of characters so nondescript and stripped of anything resembling actual humanity that they might as well be lampposts.

"Each resident of Connor's Cove is such a unique and complex individual, with his or her own rich family ancestry going back centuries," said Milligan, who relied on a host of sad literary crutches to differentiate his bland characters from one another, including limps, horrendous signature phrases, and in one agonizing instance, an eye patch. "In fact, they surprise even me. I never know what they're going to do next."

"Lionel [King] would have to be my favorite [character]," he added, describing the two- dimensional protagonist who is clearly based on Milligan himself and whose insipid ruminations provide a dull glimpse into the author's own banal, self-important existence. "He's so multifaceted. But then again, all my characters are like little worlds unto themselves."

Claiming he was genuinely proud of his ham-handed effort, the apparently shameless Milligan then expounded on the fact that he was "really going to miss" Connor's Cove once the book was completed, and even somehow had the fucking balls to say that it had been a "pretty magical place to spend the last few years."

"Connor's Cove is such a fascinating world, and there's still so much left to reveal," said the author, who, at press time, had not yet been punched in the face. "Thankfully, I'll be going back there soon, and readers can look forward to four more riveting tales in the Connor's Cove series."https://www.theonion.com/static/onion/img/icons/terminator.gif
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Jay
Bork! Bork! Bork!
+2,006|5359|London, England
#stories
"Ah, you miserable creatures! You who think that you are so great! You who judge humanity to be so small! You who wish to reform everything! Why don't you reform yourselves? That task would be sufficient enough."
-Frederick Bastiat
eleven bravo
Member
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i guess youre the only one allowed to post onion articles
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