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Multiple sources have now confirmed that Osama bin Laden, thought to have been killed and buried at sea weeks ago, has emerged from the Atlantic Ocean, rising to the towering height of 500 feet. The al-Qaeda leader was spotted approximately 25 miles off the coast of the northeastern United States and appeared to be making his way toward land with alarming speed. Fighter jets and battleships are reportedly en route to the scene and are expected to engage bin Laden within the hour. Keep checking TheOnion.com or @TheOnion on Twitter for updates as this story develops.

Last edited by eleven bravo (2011-05-25 08:12:36)

I was walking to the morgue early Saturday morning. Whilst arriving, I noticed and elegant chimpanzee roosting in the rafters. As peculiar as this occurred to myself, I offered my elbow in invitation of innocence. Unbeknownst to me, the chimp was an elaborately designed titanium cyborg. The cyborg proceeded to clench his jaws onto my arm, at which point i presented my other arm. The chimp froze in terror briefly before being incinerated, for my arm was a pulser cannon.

+1

Idk bro. Just do this:

<---

just hit the space bar you bimbo!

­

:blankpost:

eleven bravo wrote:

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this thread is nr 7 on google here

Anna Pornikova named new 'Loser' trainer



When asked what changes she'll bring to the popular weight loss show, she said "Imma let those fat bastards chase me, and if they catch me, they can fuck me." Her hockey star boyfriend was unavailable for comment, and out of breath.

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/article/tv.tvg … gest-loser

Last edited by Stimey (2011-05-25 09:11:45)

gotta be up for work in 11 hours

what a horrible feeling

yeah