BF2S Forums Ass Appreciation Thread

okay, dramatised it for effect, then. 'serotonin syndrome'? i never had that, that's a near-fatal medical emergency. i took some drugs in my room and played music at an anti-social volume. my then ex-gf was upstairs with her new boyfriend so i was being 'intimidating'. i texted her saying they had to leave the house now because i'd had enough of her bringing it around to 'our' house. they interpreted my behaviour as a threat. it had come at the culmination of like 2-3 months of arguing and teenage relationship drama. it was really stupid and it's entirely appropriate that i didn't end up with a criminal record. it was bloody ridiculous.

her new boyfriend's parents were big-shot barristers. they tried to have the book thrown at me for 'threatening' their son. the father, who should have known better, even came around to my room a few days later and knocked at my door.i asked him what the hell he was doing, basically trying to intimidate me. it was about as inane and stupid a teenage love triangle as it sounds. nobody particularly acquitted themselves well. of course everything was dropped.

i've seen that ex-gf several times in my 20s. she came to cheltenham a few times over the years and also to bristol last summer and we hooked up for a weekend. we talked fondly about the whole time and giggled at our immaturity. we got tapas. we said goodbye. til next time, no doubt. so if you're really trying to make me feel 'ashamed' of the episode, you're onto the wrong tack

the police knew the drug i had was legal, it was everywhere at the time. all over the papers and on every university campus. it was more popular than alcohol. it's hard to explain what a phenomenon it was. the police sent it off for testing as a matter of protocol. yes, i was fully cleared 2 weeks later when the inevitable test result came back in. i can't remember the time-tabling of the drug legality. it was definitely the same summer. but that's the beauty of the law, dilbert. strict liability. you can't be charged retroactively with taking a drug. either way, they weren't going to prosecute and criminally charge a 19 year old student found with a small white bag. get a grip.

i genuinely enjoy recounting the story. i am not glad that i spent a night in the cells but it's a damn good story.

Last edited by uziq (2020-04-14 16:08:35)

haha. no it's probably been a while since i rehashed that episode on here. dilbert says it's a 'public' meltdown but the most public thing about it was that i shared it on here. it happened in my house, which is about the opposite of public.

during this same period one of my male housemates, who was nominally my friend but in love with the girl, was stalking my posts on here and sending them to her. so i was having a 'public' whine about my failing relationship on a gaming forum and he was sending it all to the girl involved.

it was a very spicy time. top class drama.

obligatory clip.

your head was in the toilet  water. disgusting.

Last edited by uziq (2020-04-14 16:19:29)

uziq wrote:

okay, dramatised it for effect, then. 'serotonin syndrome'? i never had that, that's a near-fatal medical emergency. i took some drugs in my room and played music at an anti-social volume. my then ex-gf was upstairs with her new boyfriend so i was being 'intimidating'. i texted her saying they had to leave the house now because i'd had enough of her bringing it around to 'our' house. they interpreted my behaviour as a threat. it had come at the culmination of like 2-3 months of arguing and teenage relationship drama. it was really stupid and it's entirely appropriate that i didn't end up with a criminal record. it was bloody ridiculous.

her new boyfriend's parents were big-shot barristers. they tried to have the book thrown at me for 'threatening' their son. the father, who should have known better, even came around to my room a few days later and knocked at my door.i asked him what the hell he was doing, basically trying to intimidate me. it was about as inane and stupid a teenage love triangle as it sounds. nobody particularly acquitted themselves well. of course everything was dropped.

i've seen that ex-gf several times in my 20s. she came to cheltenham a few times over the years and also to bristol last summer and we hooked up for a weekend. we talked fondly about the whole time and giggled at our immaturity. we got tapas. we said goodbye. til next time, no doubt. so if you're really trying to make me feel 'ashamed' of the episode, you're onto the wrong tack

the police knew the drug i had was legal, it was everywhere at the time. all over the papers and on every university campus. it was more popular than alcohol. it's hard to explain what a phenomenon it was. the police sent it off for testing as a matter of protocol. yes, i was fully cleared 2 weeks later when the inevitable test result came back in. i can't remember the time-tabling of the drug legality. it was definitely the same summer. but that's the beauty of the law, dilbert. strict liability. you can't be charged retroactively with taking a drug. either way, they weren't going to prosecute and criminally charge a 19 year old student found with a small white bag. get a grip.

i genuinely enjoy recounting the story. i am not glad that i spent a night in the cells but it's a damn good story.

The two stories you told us at the time were:

Your housemates called the police because you were off your head on mephedrone and walking around brandishing a carving knife.
The law criminalising mephedrone came in a few days later, missed a record by a whisker.
(Police don't bother testing bags of drugs after they've released someone without charge - don't be silly)

You were hospitalised during a night of partying on a cocktail of fuck knows what and became suicidal.

If you made it all up, or are trying to rewrite it now those are other issues.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2020-04-14 16:44:25)

if i was walking around with a carving knife then i probably would have a criminal record.

i have never been hospitalised for any drug or any injury. i definitely partied too much during that period but i'm afraid that one is self-dramatisation. if i had serotonin syndrome then i wouldn't be nonchalantly partying through my 20s.

'if you made it all up there are other issues' -- i thought you were against armchair psychology? i was 19 years old and taking drugs every week. i told tall tales. how incredible!

(Police don't bother testing bags of drugs after they've released someone without charge - don't be silly)

i think i see where the confusion is coming from. i had no charges to do with the altercation with my girlfriend/her new boyfriend. that was the reason the police were called. the fact i was on drugs at the time just meant they kept me in until the next morning to 'sober up'. hence me saying i'm no more embarrassed about it than a drunk sobering up in a cell after a heavy saturday. we were told to stay away from each other and not make contact ... yeah, 2-3 days later we were sat on the campus quad in a state of disbelief, trying to sum up what has just happened. as i said, stupid teenage relationship drama.

i was released on bail pending the drug test but both parties knew that they were legal. i didn't actually take any illegal drugs when i was a student. i was 19! everyone in that era was buying legal highs off the internet. it's pointless to talk about me 'being charged with a life record'. it was a completely different scenario. i wouldn't have even been able to acquire them once they were illegal.

again, 10/10 no regretz

Last edited by uziq (2020-04-14 17:01:38)

hey fuck you. it was a golden era of bf2s. all that and i was holding the throne as the best flamer on this whole damn forum.

who is the flaming homo coming here looking for ass? do you know what freud said about people like you?

i haven't been riled. it seems my drugged-out anecdotes on this forum from 10 years ago left a more dramatic and extreme impression than perhaps the reality bears out. i emerged from that period totally unscathed. maybe i cultivated the druggy rock-bottom thing on here during that period. i can't really remember my motivations. but that's not an impression i care for 10 years later.

the actual biggest fall-out from the whole thing was the grass rat housemate reporting all my posts dutifully to my estranged ex. that definitely and resolutely shut the door on our relationship during that period. but i had the last laugh. we have since eloped as much sexier, much maturer mid-20 somethings. i am therefore at peace. shalom.

uziq wrote:

the fact i was on drugs at the time just meant they kept me in until the next morning to 'sober up'.

Uzique wrote:

cybargs i was under investigation for the drugs. police don't have a magic AI machine that tells the coppers what the white powder is. you're a smart guy... surely you can logically figure that out, right? everything white powder = arrested on suspicion of class a (up to 25 years, i.e. cocaine). i was worried that they stuff they did find had freshly been categorized as class b (up to 5 years or something). as it turns out... the drugs they found in my room were classified THE DAY AFTER i was arrested.

You missed five years in prison by a day, my recollection is correct.

yes, i dramatised it. nobody being found with a tiny bag of a class b drug, with no prior offences, is getting 5 years. that's a maximum sentence. you get a caution, dilbert.

christ almighty did you just search all the way back for that? have fun digging for the rest. i can easily summarise for you what is true and what is tarted up.

when was the last time someone got 25 years in prison for being caught in possession of cocaine? lmao.

Last edited by uziq (2020-04-14 17:43:02)

uziq wrote:

i didn't actually take any illegal drugs when i was a student.

Nothing? Somehow this is the most shocking part of the whole thing

Here we go:

Uzique wrote:

summary of uzique's last 4 days

hypoxia
seratonin syndrome
vasoconstriction and cell death in hands and feet
hyperthermia
tachycardia which led to a
ventricular fibrillation occasioning a
myocardial infarction
sleep deprivation on top contributing to
methamphetamine psychosis; dysphoria and anhedonia

safe to say i am gonna be living like BUBBLE BOY for the next 3 months

fucked up so bad i almost gave the doc a heart attack himself

play smart

Uzique wrote:

bail is the period they grant you whereupon your own liberty and freedom is subject to the state and majesty, i.e. im out at their/her 'leisure'

basically a period of a month where they test the drugs at the lab and look over my case, pending either further investigation/sentencing or a release. they can't keep me in custody for the month-long period that the lab-testing process takes. im hoping i'll get off without any conviction. until then, my landlord has decided to terminate my contract so im out of a house during my final essay / exam period. will either be working from home or sleeping on friend's couches for the month. gre-eat. if i pass this year (after filing for extenuating circumstances in considering my essay-quality/late deadlines) then i'll be back next year. hopefully. fresh house, fresh housemates, fresh start. fuck the addiction. fuck the legal side of things. me and my ex are still on good terms, thank god. even though she called the cops in the first place it was only because i was gonna fucking top myself. dont blame her for anything; she couldn't have anticipated the cops and my landlord/university having such a shit-brick over the entire thing.

yada yada keep the troll comments and shit to a minimum. i didnt walk around with a knife. i had an 8 inch blade in my room and a lot of drugs that was either gonna contribute towards an overdose or cut wrists. the fear of harm incurred on my other housemates and my 'distressing' text messages to the ex-girlfriend (telling her to get out of the house; to be far away when the shit hits the fan) constituted assault and harassment according to the police who raided her phone and whipped my ass. im 20 years old. im learning, maybe the  hardest fucking way. dont need any smartassery, love you lots xoxo

So you were hospitalised for illegal drug use, you weren't released without charge, you did have a large knife and people were concerned for their safety, the Police and the university authoriities were involved, you were using illegal class A drugs while at university

Or you made it all up for some reason.

Last edited by Dilbert_X (2020-04-14 19:07:06)