The fuck? You silly
it'll come eventually. you just need to put yourself out there more imo, meet new circles of people. chances are you'll find that "one".-Sh1fty- wrote:
lol I feel ze pain Andros
Right now I know two really nice girls (One I just recently went on a date with), but I'm just not physically attracted to them.
Really sucks
and i feel you now uzique but that last part of your post was fucked up even though i laughed, lmao.
there's been a ton of advice in this thread though.
Philosophy, economics, culture, science, art. <3
honestly this comes up time and time again but the worst thing you can do around girls is be over-nervous, anxious, over-analytical etc. they're people, human beings... not some computer game puzzle or some math exam you need to revise and worry for. just be organic, natural, laidback; be yourself. if you have to act like someone you're not to impress them or try and dazzle them, it's not going to last, much less be fulfilling. it sounds cliche but just be your fucking self and chill out. come out of your comfort zone by being cool with your own personality, instead of constantly taking notes on how you can be like some other guy. people can tell when you're being fake or insincere or trying too hard-- whether you want an ordinary friendship or a peek in their panties. the best advice for most you guys at this point coming here to this thread is to stop coming to this fucking thread and just go outside for a bit.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
i agree with this 100% dude.Uzique wrote:
honestly this comes up time and time again but the worst thing you can do around girls is be over-nervous, anxious, over-analytical etc. they're people, human beings... not some computer game puzzle or some math exam you need to revise and worry for. just be organic, natural, laidback; be yourself. if you have to act like someone you're not to impress them or try and dazzle them, it's not going to last, much less be fulfilling. it sounds cliche but just be your fucking self and chill out. come out of your comfort zone by being cool with your own personality, instead of constantly taking notes on how you can be like some other guy. people can tell when you're being fake or insincere or trying too hard-- whether you want an ordinary friendship or a peek in their panties. the best advice for most you guys at this point coming here to this thread is to stop coming to this fucking thread and just go outside for a bit.
the few times i do talk to a hot girl i'm always pretty relaxed and cool which is kind of unusual considering i seem anxious sometimes. i just usually cut the convo short or whatever sometimes cause they aren't interested in me anyway most likely.
Philosophy, economics, culture, science, art. <3
That attitude surely doesn't help you. You don't need to be a chest-beating, "everybody wants me" sort of douchebag, but a positive self-image would be beneficial. Failling that, don't worry about if people like you during the course of a conversation. You can have a conversation with a member of the opposite sex and it doesn't have to go anywhere.andros wrote:
i agree with this 100% dude.Uzique wrote:
honestly this comes up time and time again but the worst thing you can do around girls is be over-nervous, anxious, over-analytical etc. they're people, human beings... not some computer game puzzle or some math exam you need to revise and worry for. just be organic, natural, laidback; be yourself. if you have to act like someone you're not to impress them or try and dazzle them, it's not going to last, much less be fulfilling. it sounds cliche but just be your fucking self and chill out. come out of your comfort zone by being cool with your own personality, instead of constantly taking notes on how you can be like some other guy. people can tell when you're being fake or insincere or trying too hard-- whether you want an ordinary friendship or a peek in their panties. the best advice for most you guys at this point coming here to this thread is to stop coming to this fucking thread and just go outside for a bit.
the few times i do talk to a hot girl i'm always pretty relaxed and cool which is kind of unusual considering i seem anxious sometimes. i just usually cut the convo short or whatever sometimes cause they aren't interested in me anyway most likely.
When you stop trying to meet people for a specific outcome and just meet people for the sake of meeting people chances are things will go much better for you anyway.
same is when you get a gf every girl wants you. Its because you aren't looking anymore
This is an interesting article about saving sex for marriage, and the possible consequences of not doing so.
Why Wait?
What do you guys think? Please read it before being a douche Uzique.
Why Wait?
What do you guys think? Please read it before being a douche Uzique.
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
That's kinda written for Christians, so...there's that. I don't think any of us feel "guilt for breaking God's commands". I'd certainly like to be sexually compatible with the person I marry, and there's only one real way to find that out.
Well, how many people have waited until marriage and ended up sexually non-compatible? When you think about it, what does that even mean? Please define that for me so I have a better understanding.
Did you read the other arguments that aren't specifically directed towards people who fear God? Would you care to share your opinion on those topics?
Did you read the other arguments that aren't specifically directed towards people who fear God? Would you care to share your opinion on those topics?
Last edited by -Sh1fty- (2011-07-19 22:22:12)
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
You seem to be labeling everything as "God's Will" to be exempt from anything mentioned, and to immediately disprove anything said there because it's "Religious"
Let me share a few things with you from the article, and I'll do you the favor of taking God out.
Let me share a few things with you from the article, and I'll do you the favor of taking God out.
Premarital sex seems to do damage to someone's ability to trust their future spouse. I haven't figured this out entirely, but I've seen it too many times to dismiss. There is a sense of being used. Even if they both wanted it, there always seems to be a sense of regret and a sense of shame and hurt that they weren't important enough to wait for.
Premarital sex with other partners creates a variety of sexual experience. Some may see this as a plus but in real life it's not. Your spouse may not do things the way a past lover did and then you have frustration and dissatisfaction. You have sexual memories that pop up at inopportune times. There can be jealousy over past relationships or fears over comparisons to past lovers. You don't need to be an experienced lover to please your spouse. You can learn to be a great lover after marriage. Think of it as on the job training.
Premarital sex opens the door to disease. I'm sure we've all heard this spiel and we tend to get glassy eyed because we've heard it so often ... but, y'all this is serious stuff. Do a Google search on STDs. I'm telling you, there is some scary stuff out there. You are taking serious risks with your health, your reproductive health (you want to have kids someday?), and even your life.
Premarital sex opens the door to greater heartbreak. I know many of you feel you are in love with "the one." You want the real truth? They are not "the one" until you say "I do." There are any number of things that can happen between making love because you are going to get married anyway and walking down the aisle. If you give yourself to the one you love and then break up before the "I do" you will have a broken heart and will have given yourself to someone that you will never marry. How's that sound?
Premarital sex is not like marital sex. No kidding. There is a certain "naughtiness" and excitement about premarital sex. That "naughtiness" backfires after marriage. People tend to back away from it to have "good married sex." The problem is that they've already done everything and it's already been labeled "naughty." Talk about frustration. It feels like bait and switch and can take some real unlearning to make sexual things ok for marriage. If you wait for marriage that sexual excitement becomes a part of married sex instead of being the "naughty stuff" you did before marriage."
You lose the specialness of first sex on your wedding night. When you have sex before marriage there is nothing really special to look forward to after marriage. It's like opening all your Christmas presents a week before Christmas and when Christmas rolls around there is a real let down because there are no presents to open.
Granted, these are only relevant if you view sex as something very special and intimate. If you don't, you're missing out.And then there are the kids. Now don't be shocked. When you have sex ....... drumroll ....... you can produce a child! A living breathing human being that doesn't have anything to say about the circumstances of its birth. I'd like to think that every child deserves the best possible chance at having a good life and that means being born into a home with a mom and dad who will love and want that child. Premarital sex can mean a child born with a shadow over its head. Did Mom and Dad marry because of me? And, of course, not all unmarried parents choose to get married and the child has to deal with the deep pain of rejection from a parent and often the financial and emotional lack in a one parent household. A child conceived can also put pressure on the mother to abort. Thinking about it causes guilt and shame, and doing it produces profound guilt, shame, and ongoing grief. You have to live with the knowledge that there is a little one who never had the chance to play with mud and chase fireflies. You'll wonder what they would have looked like and what they would have grown up to be. Please don't go there.
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
It's an ill-defined condition, but basically it just means you're a good match for each other in the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Not being married, I can't exactly comment on all of them, but the article isn't exactly research. Saying something like "premarital sex seems to do damage to someone's ability to trust their future spouse" better have something to back it up besides anecdotal evidence.
Not being married, I can't exactly comment on all of them, but the article isn't exactly research. Saying something like "premarital sex seems to do damage to someone's ability to trust their future spouse" better have something to back it up besides anecdotal evidence.
Well this right here:-Sh1fty- wrote:
Well, how many people have waited until marriage and ended up sexually non-compatible? When you think about it, what does that even mean? Please define that for me so I have a better understanding.
Did you read the other arguments that aren't specifically directed towards people who fear God? Would you care to share your opinion on those topics?
Huh? What? No. Didn't get beyond that blatant unfounded scare tactics.lame wrote:
Premarital sex seems to do damage to someone's ability to trust their future spouse.
Bottom line. Save it if you want to, you can feel self-righteous about it later and convince yourself it was right. Or you could go have fun and... nvm.
Premarital sex with other partners creates a variety of sexual experience. Some may see this as a plus but in real life it's not. Your spouse may not do things the way a past lover did and then you have frustration and dissatisfaction.
wtf is this. You're wife might suck, so don't have good sex ever in your life?
wtf is this. You're wife might suck, so don't have good sex ever in your life?
She seems to be a counselor or something, as she's mentioned that she's heard from far too many couples that they've suffered, etc.DesertFox- wrote:
It's an ill-defined condition, but basically it just means you're a good match for each other in the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Not being married, I can't exactly comment on all of them, but the article isn't exactly research. Saying something like "premarital sex seems to do damage to someone's ability to trust their future spouse" better have something to back it up besides anecdotal evidence.
Bare with me as I'm not the best at explaining this. Try to view it from my perspective. - If you marry somebody, and you waited for sex, you love that person. I think that love is going to make you sexually compatible with that person. Having sex before marriage will make you "non-compatible" which I can refer you to one of the above quotations about envying previous sexual relationships, or things you've done having sex with other people. Do you understand thus far?
I can develop further if you wish, as the whole "if you love somebody, it'll work" thing doesn't mean much I guess...
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
So if your partner doesn't want to do something she's uncomfortable with, she automatically sucks and cannot EVER have good sex with you? Because your method is definitely superior!Nic wrote:
Premarital sex with other partners creates a variety of sexual experience. Some may see this as a plus but in real life it's not. Your spouse may not do things the way a past lover did and then you have frustration and dissatisfaction.
wtf is this. You're wife might suck, so don't have good sex ever in your life?
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
Your lack of understanding in just about every area of everything makes me wonder if darwin was wrong.
You're resorting to personal attacks, instead of debating the subject at hand. That's pretty immature. If you don't disprove the article, even just using some logic, you pretty much lose.
Oh now I understand the personal attack...
Oh now I understand the personal attack...
And above your tomb, the stars will belong to us.
lulz
Shifty, there's a lot of things in the Bible that probably make for pretty good advice - you know, don't kill etc, but as far as premarital sex goes I cannot possibly see why God would get all riled up about it. I'm quite sure that if you're a good person, God's not gonna be too bummed out about it at the end of the day.-Sh1fty- wrote:
Well, how many people have waited until marriage and ended up sexually non-compatible? When you think about it, what does that even mean? Please define that for me so I have a better understanding.
Did you read the other arguments that aren't specifically directed towards people who fear God? Would you care to share your opinion on those topics?
"God" gets all riled up about it, because back when the book was written, there was no contraception, and having babies without being life partners was probably seen as dirty. Or the guy who wrote it hooked up with a chick who had sex before him and said that he wasn't very good compared to her last root and was so mad he decided to include that sex before marriage is bad so he never had to go through that again.ghettoperson wrote:
Shifty, there's a lot of things in the Bible that probably make for pretty good advice - you know, don't kill etc, but as far as premarital sex goes I cannot possibly see why God would get all riled up about it. I'm quite sure that if you're a good person, God's not gonna be too bummed out about it at the end of the day.-Sh1fty- wrote:
Well, how many people have waited until marriage and ended up sexually non-compatible? When you think about it, what does that even mean? Please define that for me so I have a better understanding.
Did you read the other arguments that aren't specifically directed towards people who fear God? Would you care to share your opinion on those topics?
Shifty its a new age with contraception. Like I said waiting till marriage wont make it any better, you would have just missed out on x amount of years worth of sex.
What that article fails to address is the feeling of having sex the first few times and then wondering what it's like with other women.
Of course by that point you're married and due to being religious these thoughts are considered sinful, so after spending years repressing your sexual urges to save it for marriage you have the realisation that the rest of your life is all about repressing different sexual thoughts and curiosities.
GG religion.
Of course by that point you're married and due to being religious these thoughts are considered sinful, so after spending years repressing your sexual urges to save it for marriage you have the realisation that the rest of your life is all about repressing different sexual thoughts and curiosities.
GG religion.
shifty humans are not a mono-amorous species. we don't have one single love experience, for life. i know that's what marriage and the church tries to sell you, but it is literally a straight-lie. chemically, we fall in love many times in our life. hormonally, our body prepares us for the cycle of attracting and 'falling in love with' (i.e. the first few weeks of literal intoxication) a mate many, many times. i would say consider this a darwinian thing but i think i'd really be losing you if i went down that path of explanation. basically there are very few species on the earth that have one partner for babies in their entire lives. the humble pigeon will only ever take one mate and will afterwards be foreveralone. humans, however, decisively do not. in today's modern, liberal era, even strict religious mainstream churches grant divorce and acknowledge that sometimes people get sick of their partner and want out/want another. aren't your parents an example of this? do you see them as demons, going to hell... or human beings? the whole 'no premarital sex' thing is just basically population/mind control: if you keep everybody reproducing and living together under your rules, you basically rule out any chance of people ever leaving your little church/faith/cult.
libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
That's definitely one thing that I think the church is being ridiculous about still upholding. If divorce is acceptable in today's age, why isn't premarital sex? It's completely illogical.Uzique wrote:
shifty humans are not a mono-amorous species. we don't have one single love experience, for life. i know that's what marriage and the church tries to sell you, but it is literally a straight-lie. chemically, we fall in love many times in our life. hormonally, our body prepares us for the cycle of attracting and 'falling in love with' (i.e. the first few weeks of literal intoxication) a mate many, many times. i would say consider this a darwinian thing but i think i'd really be losing you if i went down that path of explanation. basically there are very few species on the earth that have one partner for babies in their entire lives. the humble pigeon will only ever take one mate and will afterwards be foreveralone. humans, however, decisively do not. in today's modern, liberal era, even strict religious mainstream churches grant divorce and acknowledge that sometimes people get sick of their partner and want out/want another. aren't your parents an example of this? do you see them as demons, going to hell... or human beings? the whole 'no premarital sex' thing is just basically population/mind control: if you keep everybody reproducing and living together under your rules, you basically rule out any chance of people ever leaving your little church/faith/cult.