CanadianLoser
Meow :3 :3
+1,148|6723
Alright, I need some halp. 

history:
Last weekend me and some friends went camping and one of my best friends brought 3 chicks.  All friends, all horny.  So i go for the easiest one (girl one), and its not long before we're in the tent alone.  We do our thing (not sex, tho ) and then we come out.  My retard friend starts hitting on her (girl one) when i get out and so i let it happen because I don't care because i didn't like her as in a crush on her or anything, it was purely sexual and i was done with her.  So then my best friend had a thing with one of the other girls (girl two), but apparently he didn't go for her, he went for the 3rd girl.  So he tells me a little later that girl two, the one i thought he had a thing with, wanted to fuck me.  I was happy to hear it and started getting close to her, but she had to fuckin leave so that didn't go anywhere.  We text a little bit when she left and say we should hang out soon.  This weekend, i see her at a party and we start fooling around and then i get her in a room.  I didn't have any condoms on me (Fuuuu-) so she said she wants to wait till next time .  so we just made out and cuddled and talked for a bit. she said I'll want it more next time lool.  So obviously she wants to fuck me (i'm still a virgin so i'm pissed i've missed out twice now).  We went out side to see that everyone has left except for my best friend and girl three from the previous week and they are fooling around in the other room.  So she sits with me and we talk for a bit and just chill with eachother till they finish so she can leave with her friend.  I walk her to her cab a few streets down, we're holding hands and then i kiss her goodbye.  That was on friday, now it is sunday and i haven't talked her since, although i know shes working a bunch this weekend.

Ok, so if i didn't make that sound too complicated, here is what i need help with: I like her. She's awesome and would make an awesome summer girlfriend, but i'm not sure if she wants a relationship or if she just wants a fuck buddy.  I'll probably see her in the next week or weekend and i was debating if i should just wait to talk to her then, or if i should start flirting with her sooner.  I don't want to fuck this up if i have any sort of chance, so i've been thinking i should wait till i see her next so we can do our shit then i can risk it?  What do you guys think?
Zimmer
Un Moderador
+1,688|6971|Scotland

CanadianLoser wrote:

Alright, I need some halp. 


Ok, so if i didn't make that sound too complicated, here is what i need help with: I like her. She's awesome and would make an awesome summer girlfriend, but i'm not sure if she wants a relationship or if she just wants a fuck buddy.  I'll probably see her in the next week or weekend and i was debating if i should just wait to talk to her then, or if i should start flirting with her sooner.  I don't want to fuck this up if i have any sort of chance, so i've been thinking i should wait till i see her next so we can do our shit then i can risk it?  What do you guys think?
The fact is, your buddy said she wants to fuck you. A girl would "usually" say something else if she was geniunely interested in a relationship.

Now, I say usually because some girls can be like that, and their way of "intimacy" and "liking someone" is to fuck them, because they know no other way to go around it (they have been in other situations when the guy just wants to fuck her, so they got the hint from that and so on so forth). I think you should go right ahead and ask. Before you fuck her. Unless you're so horny you don't care for the relationship first and want to fuck her and think about it later.

Up to you what you do on this, but you need to make the move, not her. You are the one that stated you wanted a fuck first, so it's only natural that she'll follow suit. Now, she may not see it as a relationship thing, so if you tell her before you fuck her, then you blow it, but same can happen afterwards as well. Especially if she's disappointed.

Do what you think is right. If a girl that I liked said she wanted to fuck me, I would certainly oblige, but your situation is that you find out she's awesome after you knoew she wants to fuck you, so it could just be your cock wanting a fuck. But everyone is different.
Lai
Member
+186|6366

Zimmer wrote:

CanadianLoser wrote:

Alright, I need some halp. 


Ok, so if i didn't make that sound too complicated, here is what i need help with: I like her. She's awesome and would make an awesome summer girlfriend, but i'm not sure if she wants a relationship or if she just wants a fuck buddy.  I'll probably see her in the next week or weekend and i was debating if i should just wait to talk to her then, or if i should start flirting with her sooner.  I don't want to fuck this up if i have any sort of chance, so i've been thinking i should wait till i see her next so we can do our shit then i can risk it?  What do you guys think?
The fact is, your buddy said she wants to fuck you. A girl would "usually" say something else if she was geniunely interested in a relationship.

Now, I say usually because some girls can be like that, and their way of "intimacy" and "liking someone" is to fuck them, because they know no other way to go around it (they have been in other situations when the guy just wants to fuck her, so they got the hint from that and so on so forth). I think you should go right ahead and ask. Before you fuck her. Unless you're so horny you don't care for the relationship first and want to fuck her and think about it later.

Up to you what you do on this, but you need to make the move, not her. You are the one that stated you wanted a fuck first, so it's only natural that she'll follow suit. Now, she may not see it as a relationship thing, so if you tell her before you fuck her, then you blow it, but same can happen afterwards as well. Especially if she's disappointed.

Do what you think is right. If a girl that I liked said she wanted to fuck me, I would certainly oblige, but your situation is that you find out she's awesome after you knoew she wants to fuck you, so it could just be your cock wanting a fuck. But everyone is different.
Zimmer has some very good points here. What I would like to add to the highlighted part is that girls that are like that have a nasty tendency of fucking you around later on, simply because they don't have a clue what a real relationship is about.

CanadianLoser wrote:

Ok, so if i didn't make that sound too complicated, here is what i need help with: I like her.
Deducting from the previous paragraph I would not have guessed so

Like Zimmer said it is important that you establish whether you really do or just got all fired up in the game. People often think they feel something which they don't; they feel something which they can't immediately place, and istead of taking time, they identify the feeling as one they expect it to be. After you've established what you feel, determine(/plainly ask her) what she feels, before you hit it that is. If you really do like her, and she doesn't like you that way, my advice would be to back out while you can, virgin or not. Because for that matter, sex doesn't really matter. You will be much better of staying a virgin for a litter longer, than you will be when you have sex with a girl you care for, thinking you have something, then find out it meant nothing to her. Besides I really wouldn't bother too much you have "missed out twice" in the course of a lifetime.
flirt with her now! dont wait, the summer is short and there are other boys. amiright?

she wants to be your f buddy(for now) if you were able to get intimate so fast, so go buy some condomitos
CanadianLoser
Meow :3 :3
+1,148|6723
@Zimmer: good advice and I know what you mean.  She was the one that wanted to fuck first though, i had no idea.  She texted her friend that was with my best friend and said she would if i made a move then her friend showed me the text but it was too late because they had to leave.  But yeah i am scared if I say something now and she doesn't want that and gets turned off of me, or if I fuck her then she gets the idea that that's all i want and gets turned off a relationship, or if she gets disappointed lol who know's that could lose my chances as well.... tough call

@Lai: i see where you get that from, but let me add i had no idea she wanted anything to do with me till after i did stuff with her friend, which she clearly didn't mind which leads me to believe she doesn't want a relationship but i also barely talked to her up until a few nights ago.  It could be like you said though and my penis is misleading me to believe i like her but really i want sex.  But here is the thing as well: I have 3 months left before i move to the other side of the country so i will hardly ever see till the next summer.  All that means is anything we have during this summer won't be very serious and more likely will effectively be fuck buddies for 3 months and if we like each other that works out so we can hangout and stuff and chill with friends etc.  Yeah, missing out twice isn't that big of a deal but when you are 17 it is kind of a bummer.  I also want to mention if it ends up she is just horny and doesn't want anything more than sex then my heart will NOT be broken in anyway, I'm just trying to figure it out so i don't go down the wrong path..

@Kimmmm: i want to haha but i'm worried it could fuck me over in the long run.  I'm sure she wants to fuck, maybe be fuck buddies, but maybe i could get some more out of her??

thanks for the help so far guys
Lai
Member
+186|6366

CanadianLoser wrote:

@Lai: i see where you get that from, but let me add i had no idea she wanted anything to do with me till after i did stuff with her friend, which she clearly didn't mind which leads me to believe she doesn't want a relationship but i also barely talked to her up until a few nights ago.  It could be like you said though and my penis is misleading me to believe i like her but really i want sex.  But here is the thing as well: I have 3 months left before i move to the other side of the country so i will hardly ever see till the next summer.  All that means is anything we have during this summer won't be very serious and more likely will effectively be fuck buddies for 3 months and if we like each other that works out so we can hangout and stuff and chill with friends etc.  Yeah, missing out twice isn't that big of a deal but when you are 17 it is kind of a bummer.  I also want to mention if it ends up she is just horny and doesn't want anything more than sex then my heart will NOT be broken in anyway, I'm just trying to figure it out so i don't go down the wrong path..
Well, even without your penis playing tricks, things are not always as clear as you'd want them to be. However, reading the above, I think you should be ok, as you seem to keep your expectations at a minimum (pessimism avoids dissapointment ). Might be tougher than you planned though, if you really like her. Really just keep "in sync", make sure both of you have the same (low) expectations and don't let moving away in three months be a suprise to her.

CanadianLoser wrote:

@Zimmer: good advice and I know what you mean.  She was the one that wanted to fuck first though, i had no idea.  She texted her friend that was with my best friend and said she would if i made a move then her friend showed me the text but it was too late because they had to leave.  But yeah i am scared if I say something now and she doesn't want that and gets turned off of me, or if I fuck her then she gets the idea that that's all i want and gets turned off a relationship, or if she gets disappointed lol who know's that could lose my chances as well.... tough call
Well, not to discourage you, but you will probably be a bit of "dissapointment", since I suspect she's a bit higher on the experience ladder so to say. That said, considering the rest of the story, she probably won't mind, unless you're a poor student XD
Gawwad
My way or Haddaway!
+212|6900|Espoo, Finland
how do I apologize for being a complete ass over texts while drunk?
Zimmer
Un Moderador
+1,688|6971|Scotland

Gawwad wrote:

how do I apologize for being a complete ass over texts while drunk?
Ok, I'm so very good with apologetic texts.

Like, a pro.

Now, what did you say exactly?
ghettoperson
Member
+1,943|6865

Kimmmmmmmmmmmm wrote:

flirt with her now! dont wait, the summer is short and there are other boys. amiright?
Yup, it sounds like you should skip her and move straight onto those other boys CL.
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6364|'straya
Revive.

Ok heres my predicament.

Ok, so theres this chick i've liked for a fair while now. she's like perfect, we get on great together, have lots of fun, shes intelligent and really hot (bonus ). Now the thing is that i'm stuck in the "friend zone". we get on great and everything but i don't think shes interested in dating. she usually dates complete douchebags, dumps them and then has deep & meaningful's with me about it. I've liked her for a while now, and because of this i'm not getting any action at the moment. (due to the fact that I want her and don't to ruin my chances by her hearing about me sleeping with various people lol) So this is how i see my options:

1) Forget about it, just keep being friends and go get some more action.
2) Risk our friendship by telling her how I feel and seeing how she feels.
3) Try to subtly drop hints etc and play it out for abit longer.

Oh, and her twin brother is one of my best friends, so that kinda makes it awkward as well (I don't think he'd really mind though)

So what should I do BF2s??
Bevo
Nah
+718|6736|Austin, Texas
Hate to break it to you bro, but sounds like you're fucked.

I have a very very similar situation, and the fact is, you're in the friend zone because she put you there. You can't remove yourself from this zone, she has to move you. Until she can come to the realization on her own that she shouldn't be dating douchebags, you have pretty much no chance. Don't fuck up what you have, wait for her to come around. There's pretty much nothing you can do.

$.02
GC_PaNzerFIN
Work and study @ Technical Uni
+528|6630|Finland

Next time she starts ranting about douchebags: You, me & buttsecks ?

nah tbh play it safe and go with 3), but don't wait ages. Make sure she knows how you feel. But if she doesn't take the bait, don't make fool of yourself by trying too hard.

Last edited by GC_PaNzerFIN (2009-06-16 17:05:26)

3930K | H100i | RIVF | 16GB DDR3 | GTX 480 | AX750 | 800D | 512GB SSD | 3TB HDD | Xonar DX | W8
GorillaKing798
Too legit to quit
+48|6330|Tampa, Florida

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Revive.

Ok heres my predicament.

Ok, so theres this chick i've liked for a fair while now. she's like perfect, we get on great together, have lots of fun, shes intelligent and really hot (bonus ). Now the thing is that i'm stuck in the "friend zone". we get on great and everything but i don't think shes interested in dating. she usually dates complete douchebags, dumps them and then has deep & meaningful's with me about it. I've liked her for a while now, and because of this i'm not getting any action at the moment. (due to the fact that I want her and don't to ruin my chances by her hearing about me sleeping with various people lol) So this is how i see my options:

1) Forget about it, just keep being friends and go get some more action.
2) Risk our friendship by telling her how I feel and seeing how she feels.
3) Try to subtly drop hints etc and play it out for abit longer.

Oh, and her twin brother is one of my best friends, so that kinda makes it awkward as well (I don't think he'd really mind though)

So what should I do BF2s??
Rule number 1 never tell her how you feel until youve been in the relationship (more than friends) for a while. It's needy and will almost never work. It simply pushes her away and ruins your chances.

Send her mixed messages, keep her guessing, and always be confident and funny around her. Take control of the situation, and don't be a nice guy suck up if you actually want to go somehwere with her.

For example; stop apologizing for things to her in general if you do. This is just a subtle stwep in taking control. If you took 15 mins to text her back or something don't say "Oh sorry, sorry I had to take a shower". Dont offer to buy her stuff, etc. you get the dea. Yo can not be a nice guy suck up and still not be a prick, there's a balance, find it and you will have succes.

Last edited by GorillaKing798 (2009-06-16 17:11:00)

Uzique
dasein.
+2,865|6686
AFAIK the only way to make the transition from friend zone -> intimate zone is to force it.

hint: I am recommending rape

Last edited by Uzique (2009-06-16 17:19:25)

libertarian benefit collector - anti-academic super-intellectual. http://mixlr.com/the-little-phrase/
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,978|6847|949

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Revive.

Ok heres my predicament.

Ok, so theres this chick i've liked for a fair while now. she's like perfect, we get on great together, have lots of fun, shes intelligent and really hot (bonus ). Now the thing is that i'm stuck in the "friend zone". we get on great and everything but i don't think shes interested in dating. she usually dates complete douchebags, dumps them and then has deep & meaningful's with me about it. I've liked her for a while now, and because of this i'm not getting any action at the moment. (due to the fact that I want her and don't to ruin my chances by her hearing about me sleeping with various people lol) So this is how i see my options:

1) Forget about it, just keep being friends and go get some more action.
2) Risk our friendship by telling her how I feel and seeing how she feels.
3) Try to subtly drop hints etc and play it out for abit longer.

Oh, and her twin brother is one of my best friends, so that kinda makes it awkward as well (I don't think he'd really mind though)

So what should I do BF2s??
Read the ladder theory
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6364|'straya
Thanks for the help so far

Uzique know anywhere i can get some chloroform at a decent price?
Bevo
Nah
+718|6736|Austin, Texas

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Thanks for the help so far

Uzique know anywhere i can get some chloroform at a decent price?
Sidenote, chloroform will not actually work as you would intend. The difference between passed out and death is very little when dealing with cholorform, you'll likely just kill her. Which who knows, may be your only option. The media portrayal is not nearly how it would happen in real life.
KEN-JENNINGS
I am all that is MOD!
+2,978|6847|949

Bevo wrote:

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Thanks for the help so far

Uzique know anywhere i can get some chloroform at a decent price?
Sidenote, chloroform will not actually work as you would intend. The difference between passed out and death is very little when dealing with cholorform, you'll likely just kill her. Which who knows, may be your only option. The media portrayal is not nearly how it would happen in real life.
The media portrayal or internet superman portrayal
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6364|'straya

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

Bevo wrote:

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Thanks for the help so far

Uzique know anywhere i can get some chloroform at a decent price?
Sidenote, chloroform will not actually work as you would intend. The difference between passed out and death is very little when dealing with cholorform, you'll likely just kill her. Which who knows, may be your only option. The media portrayal is not nearly how it would happen in real life.
The media portrayal or internet superman portrayal
Lol rohypnol a better choice?
Bevo
Nah
+718|6736|Austin, Texas

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:

Bevo wrote:


Sidenote, chloroform will not actually work as you would intend. The difference between passed out and death is very little when dealing with cholorform, you'll likely just kill her. Which who knows, may be your only option. The media portrayal is not nearly how it would happen in real life.
The media portrayal or internet superman portrayal
Lol rohypnol a better choice?
See: Slumdog millionaire, CSI/law + order, mafia movies etc. Both, really.

Anyway, I hear there's some sort of liquid that when consumed in large amounts, makes girls act particularly slutty and lower their standards. Now if only it was socially acceptable and mixed in fruity drinks....

Oh wait.
CammRobb
Banned
+1,510|6345|Carnoustie MASSIF

Bevo wrote:

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

KEN-JENNINGS wrote:


The media portrayal or internet superman portrayal
Lol rohypnol a better choice?
See: Slumdog millionaire, CSI/law + order, mafia movies etc. Both, really.

Anyway, I hear there's some sort of liquid that when consumed in large amounts, makes girls act particularly slutty and lower their standards. Now if only it was socially acceptable and mixed in fruity drinks....

Oh wait.
*sniggers*
Lai
Member
+186|6366

Little BaBy JESUS wrote:

Revive.

Ok heres my predicament.

Ok, so theres this chick i've liked for a fair while now. she's like perfect, we get on great together, have lots of fun, shes intelligent and really hot (bonus ). Now the thing is that i'm stuck in the "friend zone". we get on great and everything but i don't think shes interested in dating. she usually dates complete douchebags, dumps them and then has deep & meaningful's with me about it. I've liked her for a while now, and because of this i'm not getting any action at the moment. (due to the fact that I want her and don't to ruin my chances by her hearing about me sleeping with various people lol) So this is how i see my options:

1) Forget about it, just keep being friends and go get some more action.
2) Risk our friendship by telling her how I feel and seeing how she feels.
3) Try to subtly drop hints etc and play it out for abit longer.

Oh, and her twin brother is one of my best friends, so that kinda makes it awkward as well (I don't think he'd really mind though)

So what should I do BF2s??
Somehow the first thing that popped into my mind is that if the two of you would have a son, he would be called a "little baby little Little Baby Jesus" XD

Bevo wrote:

Hate to break it to you bro, but sounds like you're fucked.

I have a very very similar situation, and the fact is, you're in the friend zone because she put you there. You can't remove yourself from this zone, she has to move you. Until she can come to the realization on her own that she shouldn't be dating douchebags, you have pretty much no chance. Don't fuck up what you have, wait for her to come around. There's pretty much nothing you can do.

$.02
Bevo here is pretty much right and I'd like to add that you shouldn't expect that realization with her to come untill she's around 40 or older. The problem with your situation is not so much the "friends zone", in fact dating a girl that was in the first place a friend gives you perhaps the best chances on a healthy long term relationship. The problem with your situation is the particular type of girl, deducting from your description.

As advice, if it is possible to give any at all, I'd say not to hold back. Why? Because in the end you can't save your friendship by not doing so. The risk is there always there when you like her, you actually showing it is not a determining factor. Either she can handle it (as a friend) or she can't, and I hate to tell you, she probably can't. Girls like that have normal platonic relations and have casual romantic and/or sexual relations, but as soon as you get serious and care for them, you'll get inside their head and hit a brick reinforced concrete wall. If your friendship does get ruined, fuck it (not literally)!

I know it may sound pretty harsh, but what you want is clarity. It is better to force an answer to your question to the risk now, than play the game and have hell descent upon thee later. Like Bevo I've been in a situation like yours and I chose the long patient understanding road at the time. I lost everything to her; friends, study, my sanity and a year or two spended getting pissed. The girl in question still lives in her own illusionary world, pretending she's perfectly happy with everything. Girls like that just need to grow up and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them, which, yes, is immensely frustrating.



P.S. Please take no offense at any remarks I made at her adress. I don't know your lass personally of course and she might be nice and all, I'm just trying to warn you.
Little BaBy JESUS
m8
+394|6364|'straya
Lai: Yer i know what you mean... (dw i didn't take any offence lol)



hmmm at the moment i'm contemplating just forgetting the whole thing and go on doing whatever I want.
[New plan] if she comes to her senses then great, if not then i'll be out there scouting the scene
Zimmer
Un Moderador
+1,688|6971|Scotland

Don't forget about it, just go around finding other girls. That's the only way she will realise if she has feelings for you. If she starts acting all weird and shit when you're with another girl or pumping another one, then that is when you know. Make sure you don't deliberately talk about them infront of her, but make it clear about the other girl(s) (that is, if you can grab some ).

Girls are blind to feelings when a guy is close to them. Utterly blind to them. The thing is, you probably had a chance when you first met her and became friends, and she probably liked you, but didn't realise you liked her, so she didn't try anything on. That's how most friendships with girls begin.

Right now you're in a sticky situation, if she really does have feelings for you, then they will come out eventually (even if she doesn't know about them just yet) but if she doesn't, keep the friendship and fuck other girls.
Bevo
Nah
+718|6736|Austin, Texas

Lai wrote:

Like Bevo I've been in a situation like yours and I chose the long patient understanding road at the time. I lost everything to her; friends, study, my sanity and a year or two spended getting pissed. The girl in question still lives in her own illusionary world, pretending she's perfectly happy with everything. Girls like that just need to grow up and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them, which, yes, is immensely frustrating.
Oi, by "wait for her to come around" I didn't mean exclusively. Like the situation I'm in... I took her to homecoming, I asked her out. That happened already. While she was positive through both, I could tell that it wasn't going to go anywhere. So I'm not actively waiting for her, no not at all. After she dates douchebag #300 though, she'll understand that she's looking for a different type of guy. And that's where you come in.

But yeah, it will probably be 20 years later and she'll already be married.

Life's a bitch.

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