jay_courage
Alive in a sea of mediocre
+131|5980|Carnoustie
Last Tuesday I lost my father. I was considering speaking at the service but have been told that it can be really heavy. Any advice on this would be very helpful
I Friggin Love The Nhs
King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|6618|Seattle

My condolences bro.My only advise is to try to speak at the service and if you have to step away, then so be it. I have a hard time at funerals of people who were close to me. I choke up everytime.


Hang in there. Only time can heal.
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
SEREMAKER
BABYMAKIN EXPERT √
+2,187|6589|Mountains of NC

Sorry about your loss




is it advice on what to say, advice on speaking on the service or advice on that they are suggesting that you don't do it ?
https://static.bf2s.com/files/user/17445/carhartt.jpg
13urnzz
Banned
+5,830|6518

sorry for your loss.
sure it can be heavy, but you've already borne the hard part. if it were me, i would remember the good, and share it.
jay_courage
Alive in a sea of mediocre
+131|5980|Carnoustie

SEREMAKER wrote:

Sorry about your loss




is it advice on what to say, advice on speaking on the service or advice on that they are suggesting that you don't do it ?
Its advice on how not to lose my nerve, as KCD said if I'm gonna choke then step back and take a few. It's just trying to find the stones to stand infront of people
I Friggin Love The Nhs
King_County_Downy
shitfaced
+2,791|6618|Seattle

Just the fact that you tried will speak more than words man.
Just try to do it, you can't control those types of emotions. Shit's too deep to try and hide it. The people listening will know exactly what you mean if you have to step away.
Sober enough to know what I'm doing, drunk enough to really enjoy doing it
FEOS
Bellicose Yankee Air Pirate
+1,182|6432|'Murka

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've lost several good friends and relatives of late myself.

The only advice I can give is this: write it down. If you try to speak extemporaneously, you'll fall apart. Stick to the script. You may break down, but the script will keep you on track and the writing of it will be a catharsis for you personally.

And as burnzz said, remember the good and share it with everyone else.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

Doing the popular thing is not always right. Doing the right thing is not always popular
Pug
UR father's brother's nephew's former roommate
+652|6563|Texas - Bigger than France
Sorry about your loss.

I've spoke before at funerals.  Write a few notes down.  It doesn't have to be long.  If you focus on your notes, it'll take the focus off of whats around you.

I've spoke at four already, every time with notes, and if I didn't feel like finishing I just said "I have so much more to say, as I sure you do.  I always had great talks with XXX before, so I think I'm just going to say a few things to him personally a little later when we are alone.  Please do the same, he's around and listening.  Thanks for coming"
RAIMIUS
You with the face!
+244|6735|US
My condolences.

Do what you think is right.
jay_courage
Alive in a sea of mediocre
+131|5980|Carnoustie
Funeral went well, I spoke and didn't break down. Thanks for all the kind words
I Friggin Love The Nhs
blademaster
I'm moving to Brazil
+2,075|6666
My condolences go out to u and ur family.....
unnamednewbie13
Moderator
+2,053|6792|PNW

jay_courage wrote:

Last Tuesday I lost my father. I was considering speaking at the service but have been told that it can be really heavy. Any advice on this would be very helpful
Give it a shot if you can stomach it. Nobody's going to hold it against you if you choke up and step down [edit: unless your family is messed up like my mom's].

[edit 2: looks like I'm late. glad it went well, for a funeral.]

Last edited by unnamednewbie13 (2010-02-24 14:24:17)

Beduin
Compensation of Reactive Power in the grid
+510|5771|شمال
Sorry to hear that.
We are all going that path.
الشعب يريد اسقاط النظام
...show me the schematic
Catbox
forgiveness
+505|6737
Sorry to hear about your Dad... 
I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Love is the answer
Pochsy
Artifice of Eternity
+702|5564|Toronto

jay_courage wrote:

Funeral went well, I spoke and didn't break down. Thanks for all the kind words
Good to hear. It takes a lot of will to stay composed on the podium when speaking from the heart. If you don't mind me asking, was it an unexpected death? If so, I'm all the more impressed with your speech.
The shape of an eye in front of the ocean, digging for stones and throwing them against its window pane. Take it down dreamer, take it down deep. - Other Families
Mitch
16 more years
+877|6546|South Florida

jay_courage wrote:

Last Tuesday I lost my father. I was considering speaking at the service but have been told that it can be really heavy. Any advice on this would be very helpful
I just recently lost my mom, i know the pain.

Im sorry for your loss.

While you may be composed most of the time, when it comes time to speak things get very emotional. When i visit my moms gravesite i am perfectly composed even just standing there looking, but i get about as far as "hey mom..." before i cant speak cause of the tears.
15 more years! 15 more years!
jamiecracker
Member
+17|6768|Wollongong,Australia
i couldnt do it at my grandfathers funeral..i broke down
sad to hear of your losses
BVC
Member
+325|6716
I'm sorry for your loss.  Speaking must have taken a lot of courage.

Last edited by Pubic (2010-02-24 23:09:18)

jay_courage
Alive in a sea of mediocre
+131|5980|Carnoustie

Pochsy wrote:

jay_courage wrote:

Funeral went well, I spoke and didn't break down. Thanks for all the kind words
Good to hear. It takes a lot of will to stay composed on the podium when speaking from the heart. If you don't mind me asking, was it an unexpected death? If so, I'm all the more impressed with your speech.
police classed it as a sudden death = massive heart attack
I Friggin Love The Nhs

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